


you create a rarity of my genuine smile

by MossyFlossy



Category: The Invisible Library - Genevieve Cogman
Genre: Angst, Blood, Comfort Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Minor Injuries, Oop, Recovery, So much angst, Vomiting, accidentally adopted your enemies child?, dragon dick, hurt comfort, its spikey!, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:33:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MossyFlossy/pseuds/MossyFlossy
Summary: Set after the Dark ArchiveIrene and the others take a week off work to begin to work through what they have just gone through, what they have learnt, and what they have suffered
Relationships: Irene/Kai (The Invisible Library)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 6





	1. Day one

Kai frowned at Catherine, stood outside of the bathroom door. "She's been in the shower for forty minutes now." She said before he could ask what she was doing. "And she's not listening to me to get out."

"We have a bathroom downstairs."

"And we also have a limited supply of hot water, if she's the last one to shower…"

"It will be entirely cold by now." Catherine nodded. "I'll see if I can get her out." He wasn't entirely surprised by Irene locking herself away, knowing that the shower was the one place where she was unlikely to be interrupted. She'd looked sick on the way home, scratching at her skin like she was trying to scrape something off it. He'd grabbed her hands when he saw her begin to break the skin.

"You should try to get some rest." He said as he knocked on the bathroom door.

"Probably. Shout if you need a hand with anything." She said, heading toward her own bedroom. Kai tried the door handle once Catherine was gone, Irene hadn't locked it, and he let himself in. Normally after Irene had showered the room was filled with condensation and you could write on the mirror, but it was frigid in there. She hadn't reacted to him coming in, just stood there, staring blank-eyed at the wall, shivering as the cold water streamed over her body.

The bar of soap had been reduced to a sliver and suds and he could see patches of red skin where she'd clearly been scrubbing until it had hurt. Her arm was bleeding again, and there was the distinct mark of where the pendant had rested on her chest. She showed no signs of moving, despite how cold she was.

"Irene?" He pulled the curtains back and ignored the cold water as it hit his arms. "Come on, it's time to get out, you must be so cold." She flinched at the sound of his voice. "Come on, it's okay, time to get out."

"No." She whimpered. The tears may have been washed away, but her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. "It's not."

"I know." He slowly exhaled. "But this isn't going to be helping you." He climbed into the bathtub with her, still fully dressed, and wrapped his arms around her. "You need to get some rest, and to warm up."

"I feel disgusting." She whispered. "Like there is… Like I am covered in filth, but I'm not. He was-" She hiccuped. "He was inside my head, he's- in my blood." He reached past her to turn the shower off.

He cupped her jaw and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I know, but this won't help you. You need to get warmed up, and some rest."

"I don't want to dream." She said, she was making no move to get out of the bathtub. Though, neither was he, despite being fully dressed and dripping very cold water. Irene knew that she'd have nightmares, even conscious, her mind was choosing to replay the crunching sound of Lady Guantes' neck snapping or Alberich's voice in the back of her head.

"I'll be with you." He said reassuringly. He released her and got out of the bath, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her, and forced the water out of his clothes.

Irene's legs went out from under her as she stepped out on the cold tiles, Kai barely had the chance to grab her as she crumpled, just about managing to stop her striking her head off the floor.

  
She didn't want to, she really didn't, but she burst into tears.

Kai lowered them both to the floor and cradled her to his chest. He held her tight, running his fingers through her hair. She could hear him speaking, but it wasn't in English and in her addled brain, she couldn't quite grasp the words as they washed over her. She was getting his shirt wet again.

Kai waited until the sobs had subsided to gasps and hiccups as she tried to catch her breath before he slowly pulled back a little. He stroked her cheek with the back of his finger. "I know that nothing feels okay right now, but I am here. I am not leaving you."

"Do you promise?" She rasped, he frowned and nodded.

"I promise, I will not leave you." He said. "You need to get wrapped up and warm, and I need to look at those injuries, you are bleeding again." Irene looked at her wrist, the soap had burnt but that hadn't stopped her from scrubbing at it until the water had run pink. And the mark on her chest burnt still, the skin cut and blistering.

The pendant had cut into her skin, leaving an almost perfect teardrop shape on her sternum, the skin around it was red and shiny, beginning to blister from where it had burnt her. Bruises were beginning to make themselves visible too.

"Sorry."

"What on earth do you have to be sorry about?" He slowly helped her up to her feet again and grabbed her nightdress from the side, helping her pull it on. She swayed on her feet like she was too exhausted for it all.

He kept one arm tight around her waist, bracing her against his body as he slowly eased a comb through her hair, working out the tangles. As soon as he could get the comb through it easily, he drew the water out of her hair so that she didn't get the bed wet. He was worried by how compliant Irene was being, he could see that her eyes were shut in the mirror, she didn't move, she barely made a sound. Normally Irene was so fiercely independent that it would take a very serious injury before she would willingly admit that she needed help.

She was still in shock, he decided. She'd sat through two hours of debriefing meetings, answering questions, holding herself together, and then fallen silent when they had returned to London like she'd pushed it all to one side for the time being, and now she was too exhausted to compartmentalise it all.

He had seen her tear up when she'd told him and Vale about her parents, about being adopted. But he'd never seen her actually breakdown and cry in front of him. And that worried him far more than any injury did. He could deal with physical injuries, Irene herself had made sure that he had adequate training in dealing with injuries. But he had no idea where to even begin with whatever was going on in her mind.

"Do you want a drink?" He finally put the comb down, he could braid her hair once he had her sat down.

"Some water, actually." He managed a chuckle. "And aspirin."

"That I can do." He said. "I'll bring it up to your room, I just want to check that Vale and my brother are okay." He kissed the back of her head and felt her knees buckle again, though this time all she could do was slump against him. He tightened his grip.

"Hells, Irene. How are you still on your feet right now?"

"I don't know, but I think I am going to fall if you let me go." It was hardly any effort at all to scoop her up into his arms, though it was a little challenging to open the door with her in his arms.

Vale was stood on the stairs, having clearly been looking for him, and arched a brow. "Can you grab the door for me?" Kai asked, ignoring the look. Irene pressed her face to the crook of his neck and slowly exhaled, clearly disliking being seen as weak as she currently felt.  
"Will you still be awake if I am downstairs for ten minutes?" Kai asked her.

"I don't know."

"Vale, could you possibly also pull the sheets back on the window side of the bed?" Kai asked, wanting to make sure that Irene was comfortable before he went downstairs, in case she did fall asleep first. She collapsed into the pillows as soon as he'd sat her on the bed and he pulled the covers up over her and then threw an extra blanket over her for good measure. "I will be right back." He kissed her forehead.

"She is not okay, is she?" Vale said as he shut the door behind them.

"Would you be in her shoes?" Kai rubbed her forehead. "She's exhausted. And I don't even know where to begin with whatever is going on in her head." They headed downstairs. "I think him being in her head was the worst part for her."

"Worse than finding out that he's her father?"

"I don't know," Kai said, he checked that the front door was locked, and then slid the additional bolts shut too. "Even before that, he was poking around inside of her brain. I can only deal with one of these things at a time, Vale. And I don't know where to begin. Maybe she'll be better off in a world where there are therapists."

"Would she go?"

"I doubt it, I want to say that I wouldn't give her a choice. But I couldn't do that to her."

"You can suggest it at the very least, and support her if she agrees." Kai filled the kettle up, tea worked a world of wonders. He grabbed the first aid kit, there were several in the house, but the one in the kitchen was usually the best stocked and put it next to the tea tray.

"More injuries?" Vale asked.

"She's opened up her arm again, she was scrubbing at it in the shower. And there are burns from the pendant too." Kai sighed.

"You don't think that she did that deliberately, did you?"

"I don't know. I don't want to think about it." Kai said. He didn't look at Vale. "She has a lot of scars and I don't like thinking about how many look self-inflicted. This is the second time I am aware of her opening up her wrist like this."

"She doesn't seem the kind, yet…"

"It could have been an accident. She said that she felt filthy, she's covered in abrasions from scrubbing at her skin right now." Kai said. "But I will try to keep an eye on it. I don't want to say anything that may upset her though."

"I could try to talk to her, then there wouldn't be any backlash against your relationship." Vale offered.

"She'll know that I said something." Kai shook his head. "I won't lose her. I can't. Not after everything we have been through to get to here."

"I'll notice something anyway, with or without you saying anything," Vale said dismissively. "It will be obvious if she opens it up again. Even if accidentally."

"Maybe," Kai muttered. The kettle whistled and he pulled it off the hob and started to scoop dry tea leaves into a diffuser. He disappeared into the lounge and returned with the open brandy bottle from the liquor cabinet. "That should help her sleep." He added a decent double measure to each teacup.

"And yourself?"

"I don't intend on sleeping tonight, in case I am needed. It'll just take the edge off a little."

"May I speak honestly?" Kai frowned, and nodded. "I don't think I will be able to sleep either. I keep… hearing Winters screaming. It was hard to think through that. She must have been in pain, and I have only made that worse for her."

"You saved her life." He waited for the water to stop bubbling before adding it to the teapot, not wanting to scald the leaves.

"You did what had to be done and Irene deserved to know it."

"What she deserves and what she needs is two very different things."

"I don't think they are in this case." He said. "I don't think I'll be able to forget the screams either." He slowly exhaled before pouring the tea into the cups and adding sugar to Irene's. "Do try to get some sleep, Vale. You are welcome to raid the liquor cabinet if it'll help."

"Hopefully that won't be necessary. Goodnight, Strongrock."  
He helped Irene sit up so that she could drink the water and take the painkillers. She'd been reading, well, trying to read. She couldn't focus on the words, they seemed to squirm around the page, blurring and blending into a mess. "How do you feel? Or is that a stupid question?"

"It's not stupid." She said, voice quiet and rough. "I know that you care and that you worry, and that you ask because you don't want to guess." He began to examine her arm and reached for the bottle of antiseptic.

"So, how do you feel?" He asked, hoping that if he kept her talking, she'd be able to stay awake whilst he tended to the wounds, and that it would distract her from the inevitable pain of the alcohol on the open wounds.

"Awful." She said before sharply inhaling as he used a cotton pad to dab at her wrist. She bit her lip until it hurt. Kai tried to work quickly but it took time to bind the injury again, and then when she pulled down the collar of her nightdress, he wasn't even entirely sure where to start with it.

"I think that this is going to hurt quite a lot." He said. She just nodded and shut her eyes, resting her head against her pillows. Luckily the cuts were very shallow, barely breaking the skin, so it wasn't quite as bad to clean those as it had been her wrist. And the burn ointment was relatively soothing to her skin that felt far too hot and too tight, but where it had begun to blister had her biting back curses.

The first aid kit was one of the few times that Irene was willing to break the rules and bring in things that would confuse the doctors of this world. He taped a sterile pad over the injury, so that she couldn't catch it in her sleep.

"Drink your tea." He said as he packed the kit away. He tossed it onto the top of the chest of drawers and sat at the end of the bed and pulled her feet onto his lap. Her toes were ice cold and he winced a little as he began to massage her feet. She made a soft groaning sound as he pressed his thumbs to the arch of her right foot, he smiled, glad that he could do one little thing to help her. "You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know. I just don't want to burden you with that."

"You wouldn't, Irene. I love you. You are never going to be a burden to me."

"Kai, I-"

"You don't have to say it," He smiled at her. "I know that, when you are ready and when you have the words, you will. I don't have to hear it to know it."

"Thank you."

"Anything." He took a break to drink some of his tea, the brandy burning his tongue far more than the hot drink did. "How tired are you?"

"Very." She said. "Can you hold me?" He smiled.

"Let me put my nightclothes on, and I will join you. Finish your tea." He slipped into the bed beside her once he was changed and folded her arms around her. Irene rested her head on his collarbone and slowly exhaled. Kai ran his hand up and down her back in soothing strokes.

Irene kissed him. She ran her fingers up the back of his neck and twisted them into his hair as she pressed herself against him. Kai didn't even hesitate before reciprocating. She parted her lips against his as she hooked her leg over his hip. One of Kai's hands found a place in her hair, the other on the small of her back, holding her as tightly as she held him.

She made a soft groaning noise as he broke the kiss. She went to pull him in again, but he shifted away. "Kai?"

"Not tonight." He said softly, tucking hair behind her ear. "You need your rest."

"Please." She didn't want to sound like she was begging, but her voice caught in her throat betraying her emotions.

"Irene, I won't." He said, firming up his voice to try and hide the fact that he very much wanted exactly what she did. It would be easy to give in, to take comfort in the flesh, to assure himself that she was there, that she was alive, that she was still his. But Irene needed her rest. "You are over emotional and exhausted. I won't let you use me for your comfort like that. You'll just regret it in the morning."

"I'd never regret you." She insisted, reaching for him again, trying to ignore the irritating voice in the back of her mind that was telling her that he was right.

"You'll regret using sex to forget about your problems. I am not here for that, and I will not do it." The last thing that he wanted was to accidentally hurt her, or for her to rely on that kind of comfort for peace.

"Sorry." She said, she couldn’t meet his eye.

"Stop apologising," Kai said. "I don't blame you for wanting to think of something else, but I can't be that for you." She tiled her head to rest it on his collarbone again. He combed his fingers through her hair. "Sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up. I promise."  
  
  



	2. Day two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings!: Vomiting, mentions of rape, mentions of incest

"You two better be fully dressed," Catherine said as she knocked loudly on the door to Kai and Irene's bedroom, there was no point in pretending that it was just hers when he'd never slept a night in his own bed.

Irene groaned and opened her eyes, looking around the room. She had her head on Kai's stomach, he had a hand in her hair, the other on her hip as she had somehow managed to curl up across the bed and use him as her pillow. "If I say no will you let me go back to sleep?" She asked the door. Catherine pushed it open and almost laughed at the way she was laying.

"Your brother says that he's leaving." She addressed Kai. "And that can't be a comfortable way to sleep." Kai helped Irene sit up and when she rolled her shoulders, something popped in her spine.

"I don't think backs are meant to sound like that."

"Probably not." She muttered. Her mouth was dry and her head ached. "Where's he going?"

"I asked but he told me that he would never trust a Fae with such information." She sneered.

"Right. I'll speak with him, I want to ask him to pass a message on to Father for me anyway." Kai said as he got out of the bed, being careful to not pull the covers off Irene. "Go back to sleep if you need it. Or I can come up with some breakfast."

"Lunch," Catherine said. "Mid-afternoon snack really. It's three already."

"What?" Irene started, she got up, went dizzy and collapsed back into the bed. "Oh, that felt unpleasant." She drew the covers back over her head. "Wake me for dinner."

"Of course," Kai said, he pulled the covers back to kiss her forehead, before heading downstairs, not bothering to pause to get dressed.

"How do you feel?" Irene asked Catherine when she realised that no one had shut the door and that her student was still in the doorway. Her voice was a little muffled by duvet so she sat herself up.

Catherine shrugged. Irene looked her over. She looked tired, even if she had taken the time, and clearly put a lot of effort into her appearance, likely in order to make it look like she was absolutely fine when she absolutely wasn't. "I've been better." She finally said. "But no injuries but a couple of bruises."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"A few hours." She looked away.

"The nightmares get easier to deal with," Irene said, unable to say that they stopped, she didn't want to lie to the young woman, that wouldn't be fair to her.

"Hopefully." Catherine tried to not sound bitter. "Are you planning on getting up today?"

"I guess that I should," Irene muttered. "It's not comfortable any more. That being said, there is one thing that you are going to learn, and that is how to sleep anywhere."

"I would rather not fall asleep on a dragon's stomach, that cannot be comfortable." Catherine started examining her fingernails. "Please tell me that isn't a necessary lesson?"

"Catherine?"

"Irene?"

"I am going to throw a pillow at you."

"No, you aren't."

"Three. Two." Catherine was off like a short and Irene snorted before dropping back into the pillows. That had usually worked on her as a teenager, she wasn't sure what was so scary about it, but if it worked, she wasn't about to complain.

She was slow to get up and dress but no matter how much she wanted to ignore how hungry she was, her stomach would not stop making loud growling noises and eventually, she gave in and got up. She could hear Kai and Shan Yuan loudly 'discussing' something in the lounge, so she went into the kitchen.

Toast was hardly a meal, but it was better than nothing, and she slathered it in jam. The newspaper was on the table, but she ignored the front page and looked for the crossword, not wanting to see which escapades of hers had made it into the news. How many people had died because of her?

The toast tasted like sawdust.

She threw the uneaten toast in the bin, suddenly losing her appetite. She drained a glass of water with a couple of aspirin.  
She heard raised voices and when Shan Yuan shouted something at Kai in Chinese, the glass slipped out of her fingers and shattered on the tiles. She stared at the shards, they glinted like crystals in the painfully bright lights of the kitchen.

"Irene?" Kai caught her arm. "Are you hurt?" She blankly stared at him. It was like she was underwater, his voice seemed like it was miles away. She could see Shan Yuan in the doorway, his mouth opening and closing but she had no idea what he was saying. Catherine appeared too, drawn by the sound of the glass breaking.  
She forced herself to look at Kai.

"I think I need to go back to bed." She said softly. He nodded. Irene looked down at all of the glass on the floor, trying to work out where to walk that wouldn't end up with her having to dig a piece of glass out of her bare feet.

Kai looked down too, and then scooped her up with ease, carrying her over the glass, and setting her down again when she was away from it, he knew her far too well to think that she'd be okay with him carrying her up to bed. She hated being picked up when she could avoid it. Kai would have happily carried her upstairs but he felt her tense up in his arms and set her down as soon as he knew she'd be safe from the glass.

"I'll be up in a minute." He said softly. "I'll make you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." She said, shaking her head. In fact, she was half certain that she was about to throw up the little bit of toast that she'd managed to eat. There was something inherently disgusting about almost everything at the moment, herself included.

She could imagine, half see even, marks left beneath her fingers as she touched things. Dark smears as she leant on the bannister as she headed up the stairs. A handprint on the door. Smudges and stains all over her bedsheets.

She threw open the door to the bathroom, dropped to her knees, and threw up.

Bile and acid burnt her throat, her eyes were stinging with unshed tears as she rejected the small bit of what she'd eaten in the past twenty-four hours, and water.

She felt someone pull her hair back away from her face, fingers running through the tangle before tying it back. Someone rubbing circles on her back. She spat out saliva into the toilet before slumping against the wall, she could feel sweat on her forehead and the back of her neck.

She shut her eyes as whoever had come to help, everything felt too fuzzy to actually be able to tell, reached past her to flush the toilet.

"Here," Catherine said as she ran a washcloth under the cold tap and used it to first wipe the sweat off Irene's forehead, and then clean her mouth off for her. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to get you a glass of water to drink."

The tiles of the bathroom floor were blessedly cold as she carefully lay herself down, her stomach clenching uncomfortably with nothing in it to throw up but more water. She rested her head on the floor, curling her legs up a little bit. She was tempted to use the Language to lock the door so that no one could see her in such a pathetic state, sick, disgusting, exhausted.

But she was trying. She didn't want to shut Kai out. She needed him. She needed him in her life no matter what was going on, no matter what they had gone through, no matter what they would go through.

And it wasn't fair on Catherine either, who just wanted to learn, who wanted to be able to help in whatever ways that she could, even if it was as simple as getting a glass of water, and even if it was just because she wanted to be a Librarian.

No, that still wasn't being fair on the young woman. There was a lot more to her than her want for Librarianship and reducing her to just that wasn't kind or right.

Not that Irene was kind.

She thought back to everything that she'd done that had been cruel, the things that she had done, the ways she had used people, manipulated them for her purposes and nothing else, and how like Alber- how like her own father she was.

She pushed herself off the floor again in time to throw up what felt like just water. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she retched. This time, Catherine set the glass of water down by her hand, and used one of the towels to wrap it around her shoulders, Irene hadn't even realised that she was shivering.

"Do you want me to sit with you, I could get Kai instead? Or maybe just let you be by yourself?" Catherine asked, her hand was small but warm on Irene's shoulder.

"Stay, please." Irene choked out.

"Alright." Catherine wetted the cloth again and gave it to Irene to clean herself up. "I think you may be coming down with something." Irene bitterly laughed.

"Something like that." She muttered. "Thank you." She picked up the water and took a careful sip of it, it tasted foul and she winced, she needed to brush her teeth.

"Kai is cleaning up the glass," Catherine explained. "And Shan Yuan is sulking in the lounge, I think Kai is enjoying whatever power he can exert over him, including making him wait a little bit."

"I am sorry," Irene said. "About everything that has happened recently." Catherine shrugged.

"It is hardly your fault. And I was the one who refused to stay away." Then, she smiled. "I saved your life when you think about it."

"You did." Irene sighed as she shut her eyes and leant her head back against the wall, the towel slipping off her shoulders and pooling around her hips. "Thank you for being stubborn."

"I'm learning it from you, to be honest," Catherine said. "And I guess Kai too, I have the perfect examples in you two." Irene supposed that she was right there, she and Kai were plenty stubborn enough and that habit would inevitably rub off onto Catherine when she was constantly with one or both of them.

She thought of her mother's grey hair and wondered how much of it was because of her, and how soon it would be until she had to start dying her hair because of Catherine. Kai as a student was one thing, but a teenager was something entirely different.

"That isn't always a good thing," Irene said. "I am trying to set a good example you know." And look at how well she was doing so far. Catherine had been poisoned, stalked, assaulted, mind-controlled, nearly crushed by a flying car (though that one wasn't at all her fault) and then had to suddenly accept that she was likely going to die or be captured and imprisoned again.

"It is. You never give up." Catherine said. "That's what I am learning."

"Why is it that I managed to teach Kai that, and nothing else too?" She whined before realising that she was whining and pressing her lips together. "I need to teach you other things than how to be stubborn."

"I am sure that we will get there. How are you feeling now?"

"Tired." Catherine nodded. "And like I need a bath or a shower."

"Maybe not another very long one? I am surprised that you aren't coming down with a cold."

"Good immune system." Irene shrugged. "Plenty of orange juice."

"I don't like oranges," Catherine replied. She was about to say something when Kai tapped on the door and pushed it open.

"How are you doing?" He asked, Irene didn't bother responded as it was a rather stupid question, and he knew that it was and that her silence was an answer in one way or another. "You need to have something to eat."

"I will throw it back up again," Irene said, shaking her head.

"I know, but it is better to throw up something that water." He replied. "Just some toast and soup, or you'll start to feel much worse."

"I know." She sighed. "I don't really want to eat anything right now though. I just want to go to sleep."

"Well, you can't," Catherine said before Kai could argue against Irene.

"And why is that?"

"Your bedding needs to be washed so you won't have anywhere to sleep." She replied in a very matter of fact voice that Irene just knew that she was copying off Kai. "I guess you'll just have to go downstairs and eat."

"Are you trying to… blackmail me into good habits?" Irene asked as Kai chuckled. "Catherine, this is not how you treat your teacher."

"It is when she's being stubborn." Catherine almost managed to smile and Irene was wondering if perhaps she was trying to find ways to keep busy, to keep herself distracted, and a load of laundry was the next solution.

"She's got you there, 'Rene," Kai said. "Come on, food will do you some good, you'll feel a lot better once you have had a proper meal." He offered her a hand and hauled her to her feet with the practised ease of pulling her off the sofa when she was half asleep and insisting that she could read just one more chapter. Or pulling her out of large bodies of water, a recurring theme that she was not fond of, but was highly ironic.

Who would have thought that a water dragon would have fallen in love with the human who could barely swim, got seasick, and was somewhat fearful of large bodies of water?

Not her at the very beginning of it all.

Yet here they were.

And he was looking at her like she was the answer to every question that he could ever ask, the missing piece to his personal jigsaw.

"And then maybe a bath afterwards," Kai said, deciding her itinerary for her. "Whilst I deal with Shan Yuan who is going to have to wait a little while longer whilst I make sure that you are okay."

"You're enjoying that part, aren't you?" She asked faintly. Catherine was tidying up around them, so Kai slipped his arm around her waist, and guided her out of the bathroom.

"It is an excellent way to politely wind him up," Kai muttered as they reached the bottom step. "And I need to make sure that you are alright. I do not need to make sure that he is waited on hand and foot, you are my priority right now."

The glass had been swept up and Kai had already started sorting out a meal for them, she supposed that it had been a while since he had eaten too. Or any of them for that matter.

"When did Vale leave?" She asked as he deposited her in her usual seat. The newspaper had been moved, though he'd left the crossword out for her to do, there were random pens strewn about the whole house and the kitchen was no different, the only room that lacked pens were the bathrooms.

"Sometime this morning. Catherine and Shan Yuan were both asleep when he went." He said. "He left a note though, he wanted to speak with Singh and see how Sterrington was doing, but he would be back." She nodded. "Let me just see if either of those two want something to eat actually, we have all skipped several meals."

He left her after making a pot of tea, pushing a pen and the crossword toward her, with a cup of tea already perfectly prepared to her taste, a splash of milk and half a spoonful of sugar. She took a sip of it, managing to smile at him before she started to look at the crossword clues.

Kai headed upstairs first. Catherine was good to her word and had stripped off the bed and bundled the sheets into the laundry hamper and was currently on her tiptoes to try and get the clean sheets out.

"I'll do that." He said, making her jump. "Come down and have something to eat. You haven't eaten much today either."

"I guess we all slept through breakfast." She said, pretending that he hadn't startled her, and shutting the linen cupboard. "Is your brother not leaving yet?"

"Not quite yet. He probably needs to eat something too. I wouldn't want him to be unable to get home and to have to come back." Kai smiled and Catherine managed a small laugh. "I'll call you when the food is ready."

Shan Yuan was pacing the lounge, the fire in the hearth blazed up when Kai entered. "Do not burn this house down," Kai said shortly. "Or it will be far less likely that father will hear out your suggestion that you should replace me here." Shan Yuan snorted, but the flames died down a little.

"Well, have you done dealing with them yet?"

"No. We are all going to have something to eat. All of us." Kai said sternly as his brother went to speak. "And only once we have had food, I will see you off." Shan Yuan knew that it would lower his status considerably if he stormed out, whilst Kai likely wouldn't report that, it would get back to the Library.

"Fine." He snapped. "If you insist." He muttered something particularly distasteful, which Kai did not respond to, though he clenched his hands into fists, feeling his nails (nearly claws) digging into the palms of his hands as the water in the glasses on the table bubbled to life for a moment, threatening to overflow, before it died down again.

He did not slam the door, though he would have very much liked to. Irene had her head down and was scratching at the paper when he returned to the kitchen, Catherine was sat across the table from her, in what had used to be his normal seat, trying to read the paper upside down to try to help. Not that Irene needed the help, but they both happened to like crosswords.

Shortly after Catherine had moved in, Irene had come downstairs to find that the girl had nearly finished the crossword already, and she hadn't been too pleased about having that removed from her little morning routine.

Their compromise had been that Catherine could do the one in the evening paper, whilst Irene had the morning one.  
She'd made herself a cup of coffee and had crossed her legs, neatly smoothing her skirt out over her feet. She looked up when he came in, Irene did not, though she did smile when he squeezed her shoulder as he passed by.

The kitchen table was small since it had originally only been for the two of them, but even three wasn't that much of a squeeze. They did have a dining room, but there wasn't much of a point in using it when there were only ever four people at most, and none of them really stood on formality when they were just trying to eat quickly because there was work to be done, or they were tired and silently wanted to eat before falling into bed.

Vale had clearly gone out early to collect some things for them, as there was milk and fresh bread for them. Irene had a habit of not keeping much food in, and nothing perishable, as they often had left in a hurry and coming back to spoilt food wasn't pleasant. Anything that wouldn't keep whilst they were away was often tossed.

However their escapade hadn't been planned, and Kai cleaned out what was starting to go bad as he waited for the soup to begin to bubble. Catherine got up and grabbed the butter, cutting and then spreading the bread for them to have it with the soup, not waiting for him to ask, as he wouldn't.

"Can you really trust her with a teacup when she smashed a glass?" Shan Yuan sneered as he sidled in. Irene looked at the teacup by her hand, it was one of her favourites (white bone china with very intricate patterns of curling ivy, with a matching saucer, obviously), and then up at the peevish prince.

"Am I not allowed to break my own belongings?" She asked, voice forced to an unnatural lightness that made Kai wince. He knew her well enough to know that it was dangerous when she spoke like that.

"Maybe a sippy cup is more fitting."

"Why? For you?" She asked. Shan Yuan sharply inhaled. "If you insist on acting like a bratty child, I have utterly no qualms with treating you like one. Would you like a glass of milk before having your nap?" Kai snorted.

"How dare you-"

"I dare." Irene interrupted. She folded up the paper and set it down, before picking up her cup of tea, making him stand there and wait whilst she took a sip of it. "Now, if you don't mind, Kai tells me that you are his elder, so I invite you to act like it for a change."

Kai pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing and glanced at Catherine out of the corner of his eyes, to see that she was doing almost the exact same thing, shoulders shaking a little bit. She had yet to fully master how to hide one's reactions. And she'd never seen Irene be quite like this.

"You are beneath me." Shan Yuan hissed.

"And you are in my home." Irene sighed. "And right now, I am unaware of what position you may hold in your father's court, but I do know that I am an ambassador and that holds a certain amount of respect that I believe you to be incapable of possessing. Learn quickly is my recommendation."

"He doesn't really hold any position," Kai said over his shoulder as he began to ladle soup into bowls. "He's a student to one of our father's lords."

"Oh?" Irene smiled at Shan Yuan. "Well. I guess it is obvious why you'd want to usurp Kai then."

"You have no idea what you are talking about." The kitchen was growing warmer, and Kai quickly shut off the gas hob before it became uncontrollable.

"You are right." Irene sighed. "I don't. But you get so riled up and betray the truth. Now, sit down. Eat your food, and then get out of my house."

Irene was in the bath when she heard the door slam behind Shan Yuan. She slowly sighed and rested her head back, shutting her eyes. The water was hot enough to turn her skin pink. She was trying to resist the urge to pick at her wounds, she'd had to take the coverings off them. Her chest had scabbed over and blistered, and her wrist was beginning to scab too, both had burst into agony as she'd got into the bath.

She could have fallen asleep in the water, despite sleeping for something close to twelve hours, it was easy to be lulled by the water lapping against her skin, and the smell of the candle that she'd lit in the corner of the room.

The heating was on and her nightdress and dressing robe were draped over the radiator so that they'd be toasty when she got out of the bath. She'd poured a glass of brandy and it sat within arms reach of her.

Had it been a normal evening, it would have been nice, a good way to soothe frazzled nerves after a long day. But it wasn't. It was trying to unwork knots of tension from her shoulders. It was trying to forget everything that had happened.

She itched.

It was a way to wash off the knowledge of where she had come from and god did she wish that she could just forget that, pretend that it had never happened.

She couldn't pretend though. Catherine didn't know what it had meant, why she'd been quite so disgusted. She didn't know anything other than who Alberich was. She had no idea what he had done to her biological mother. That she was the result of rape. Of incest.  
And she could pretend that when Alberich had spoken of taking his sister to a high chaos world, he could have been speaking metaphorically, his sister in arms perhaps, but she knew that was just denial.

Her father was her uncle, her mother was her aunt. And she was an abomination.

She dug her teeth into her lip until she felt it split and she taste her own blood. Tears burnt her eyes as the taste of copper spread over her tongue.

She knew that Vale had had no choice but to tell her, to tell Alberich. She'd have died if he hadn't done. But she wished that he'd lied. Told her that he'd only said that to trick Alberich into releasing her.

She didn't want to know.

She was happy knowing that she'd been given up by a mysterious woman.

Well, not entirely happy, she'd wanted to know more, but she could accept it, an unnamed Librarian who'd given her to her mother and father because they had wanted a child, and she had not. That was easy to believe, to understand and to accept.  
She should have known that it wouldn't be that simple.

Life was never that simple.

She felt a bead of blood run down from the corner of her lip and she messily smeared it away with the back of her hand before it could drip into the bath. She wanted to throw up again, swallowing down bile as she felt a tear run down her cheek.

She pulled the plug out of the bath and climbed out on shaky legs, she was bruised from her fall the night before. Kai had asked her to leave the door unlocked, just in case, but she had ignored that.

She pulled her nightdress on and wrapped herself up before she unlocked the door, and sat on the floor, just in case she started throwing up again. She used a folded up towel as a pillow, and lay down, shutting her eyes as she dragged her fingers over the tiled floor, slick with condensation and splashed bathwater.

The house was almost silent as she lay on the floor, letting herself slip to sleep, soothed by the cool floor and the sounds of the water from her bath bubbling through the pipes. It wasn't an easy sleep, she dipped in and out of consciousness, she could hear people moving.

Kai came in at some point and she tried to wake up, but couldn't quite manage it as he pulled her head onto his lap, draping a thick blanket over her as the temperature of the room dropped. He combed his fingers through her wet hair, talking to her in a low soothing voice, and she lost consciousness again.

Catherine didn't want to open the door when someone knocked on it. The curtains had remained shut since they had returned, so she went into the unused dining room and pulled back the curtain an inch to see who was on the doorstep, and then let Vale into the house.

"I think Kai and Irene are asleep." She said as he pulled off his hat and coat, she hung them up.

"Still?"

"No, they were awake for a while. Irene has been throwing up quite a bit." Catherine explained. "I think she's currently asleep on the bathroom floor, and Kai is with her."

"Right," Vale said.

"Shan Yuan left about an hour ago?" They went into the kitchen and Catherine started making a pot of coffee. "Do you want me to see if they are awake?"

"Please. I think they will both want to know how Sterrington is doing." Vale said, accepting the cup of coffee that she offered him.

Kai was nodding off when Catherine knocked on the bathroom door, and Irene started in his arms, jolting as she hurriedly tried to push herself up. Her mind replaced the stark white of the bathroom with the black and grey of the Cathedral and it was suddenly like she was back there, until she felt Kai tighten his arms around her, bringing her back to herself.

"Vale just got here," Catherine said, not opening the door. "He says that he has news on Sterrington." Kai looked down at Irene and then helped her sit up.

"Thank you, I will be down soon."

"I need to know," Irene mumbled thickly, there was dried blood around her mouth.

"Are you sure you don't just want to sleep and I can tell you in the morning?" He asked.

"I need to know." She replied a little more firmly. He nodded and helped her to her feet. She washed her face using cold water and quickly tossed back the measure of brandy, Kai arched a brow. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you know what that word really means." He said. "Irene, you are not fine, and that isn't a bad thing. I can help you, we all want to help you."

"I want to be okay." She whispered. He put his hands on her hips and kissed her forehead.

"I know, and you'll get there. These things just take time. It's okay to need time, to recover at your own pace. I'm with you every step of the way." Irene ran her cold hands up the back of his neck and into his hair as she pulled him into a kiss that burnt his lips before the taste of alcohol was overridden by the taste of her blood, and he had to pull away.

"Sorry." He smiled and touched her cheek. "I bit my lip and I didn't realise how dry my mouth was."

"Whatever am I going to do with you?" He sighed. "I have some salve in my bedside table, that'll help." He kissed her forehead again, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her.

"Don't leave?" She asked. He smiled.

"Of course." He said. "I mean, other than that?"

It was good news from Vale. Sterrington had come around some hours after they had arrived at the exhibition and seemed to be recovering well, though a little miffed that he had been going through her things.

Vale kept looking at Irene out of the corner of his eye, though he stopped when she caught him doing this, and glowered at him, until he looked at the table, and drummed his fingers on the wood.  
"There is one issue, however."

"What?" Irene was suddenly very tense. Kai reached for her hand but she batted him away. "What's wrong?"

"There is a possibility that the Guantes employed more assassins that we are currently unaware of and that may cause trouble." He said. "And there is no one to call them off," Irene swore and for once, he didn't say anything.

"What do we do?" Catherine asked, her voice timid with the hint of a tremor to it. She was exhausted and terrified, that was clear to all of them. She had not signed up for any of this. She swallowed. "Is it safe to stay… will it ever be safe?"

"Without someone calling the shots, yes," Kai assured her. "It may take a few weeks for them to realise, or we aren't in any danger at all. We won't know until… someone takes a shot at us."

"At the very least, you and Winters were never the intended targets of those attacks," Vale said. "They didn't know who you were, and sadly, you were just swept into it all because of us, and Winters was wanted alive."

"So I just have to worry about the death of two of my friends and a kidnapping?" Irene muttered bitterly. "That is just fantastic. Great."

"Irene," Kai said softly. "We'll get through this. I promised that to you, didn't I? I mean it." Then, to Vale. "What do you recommend? We could go away? To another world for a week or so?"

"Right now, hold off on any travel plans." He said, shaking his head. "I don't wish to cause any unnecessary stress unless it is necessary, so I suggest waiting to see if we are actually in any danger, though maybe not staying here for a few days. I'd offer up my lodgings, but I don't have the space for all three of you."

"The Library maybe?" Catherine said brightly, looking to Irene with keen, puppy-like eyes.

"I need time to heal," Irene said, shaking her head. That and she didn't want to deal with Catherine in the Library until she had much more energy. Or a leash to stop her running off. Maybe both.

"Well, what about my uncle's home?" She suggested.

"He's likely still away."

"I have a key." Catherine shrugged. "And my own room still. I doubt the spare bedrooms are locked up, and if they are, you can just open them."

"I mean, it isn't an entirely awful idea, just for a few nights?" Kai said slowly. “You already used one of your flats as a place to hide, this wouldn’t be burning up any of your resources again.”

"He was a target too."

"And he ran off to Hawaii. You would be safer there." Vale said. "Think Winters, he has a library, you've never got to see it, have you? And he won't be able to stop you from going through it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading  
> Comments make my day!


	3. Day three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait until Friday to post the next chapter, but I'm blocking on a bit later on and thought that comments may help motivate me through it, so please comment?

The bed that Irene woke up in was far too soft. The duvet was heavy over her and when she reached for Kai, her fingertips barely brushed him on the other side of the frankly huge bed. He was sat up, reading and seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was now awake too.

"Did you sleep at all?" She asked. They'd gone to Silver's late that night, Catherine had let them through a side door and showed them her room at the back of the house, and the room that was kept spare two doors down, with a large bathroom in between them.  
She'd gone straight to sleep, though woken twice due to nightmares, and Kai had been awake for each of those. And now it was nearing midmorning and he seemed barely ruffled. It was almost annoying.

"A few hours." He said like that was all that he needed. She knew that he could sleep for four or five hours and get straight back to work, but that wasn't often after being awake for what had to be 48 hours or so, not counting being rendered unconscious as that was rarely a restful sleep.

"You need more than that." She shifted over to his side of the bed. "I can stay awake for you." He smiled and reached for his bookmark.

 _Get a man who'll put down his book for you,_ she thought, and smiled as she was practically dragged onto his chest. He buried his face into her hair.

"I just need you in my arms." He said. "I didn't want you to wake up with having someone right there."

“Give us the book and then fall asleep on me." She said, tilting her head back to press her lips to his jaw. "I'll even read to you." He laughed, she could feel it in his chest, a low, soothing rumble. "It's not because you're here, is it? We can leave, find a hotel maybe?"

"Leave Catherine here so that I can have you all to myself for a few days?" He asked. He slid his hand into her hair and eased her back enough to capture his lips. "Just us?"

It would be so easy to say yes. There was so much comfort to be found in the embrace of the other, in their entwined legs and panting for breath, gasps and whimpers as the other searched for sweet spots and were rewarded with open-mouthed kisses to lips and throat.

"You know that I can't do that."

"I know." He said. "I was only joking, for the most part. Maybe when Silver is back. You could take my father up on the offer of a chance to see his Library." She opened her mouth to point out the issue. "Not as an ambassador, but as a Librarian, to see if there are any books that the Library wants, and have copies made."

"You are just trying to find a tempting loophole." She said.

"Is it working?" He asked.

"Mmm, a little bit?" She smiled and got off him. "Do you want to get some sleep?" Kai yawned and stretched.

"I think I will be fine after a shower and coffee."

"You are welcome to look for the kitchen, I want to see how Catherine is doing."

"Irene?" He touched her hand.

"Yes?"

"You know that you don't have to pretend to be okay, right?" He brought her hand to his lips. "If you want to stay in bed and… scream at god? I don't know, I'll be here."

"I cannot make everyone wait for my breakdowns." She said.

"She's so young and has been through so much, the least I can do, is make sure that she is okay." Kai kissed her again before getting out of the bed and she frowned. "Why are you wearing a shirt?"

"Because we were in bed?" Kai frowned too, pointing to the bed like she couldn't actually see it. "We have been asleep."

"Yes, I am aware." She knelt up. "And I know that you hate wearing pyjamas. Trousers I get, but a shirt? You never wear one. What's wrong?"

"I don't want to be shirtless in Silver's home." He said.

"Kai, are you hiding something from me?" He hesitated. "Kai, what happened?"

"It's fine." He tried to assure her. "I didn't want to worry you with a… minor injury."

"How minor?"

"A bullet. But it was just a graze and my shoulder." He shrugged. "I honestly thought that you'd noticed when it had happened." She grabbed his hand and dragged him back down to the bed, the sudden movement being the only reason why he had fallen. "Irene! It's fine."

"Prove it." She demanded. "Take your shirt off and show me that… God, I am so selfish. How could I not even have noticed that you were injured? And you were so careful looking after me and I didn't even notice."

"You were in shock." He said though he did start to unbutton his shirt. "And it is barely anything. You needed someone to look after you, I didn't. That's okay. It's not a bad thing." He pulled the shirt off and set it to one side. "See?"

The bullet had left an angry red gouge into his arm and he spoke volumes that it hadn't already started to heal over. He healed very fast but there were still scabbing and swelling to see.

"This needed stitches." Irene rocked back on her heels, dropping her head as her eyes stung. "You could have told me."

"I didn't want you to worry."

"I will gladly worry about you." Her words were a little bitter. "I just wish that you could have trusted me enough to tell me."

"I do trust you, Irene." He reached for her hand but she pulled away.

"You don't trust my mind right now, do you?"

"You have a lot on it. I will not add more."

"I can handle it."

"No, you can't. You slept for twelve hours and then started throwing up. You've just slept on and off for ten hours, interrupted by your night terrors. You are not fine and I don't think you can handle more. And that was my decision to make."

"No. It isn't." She shook her head. She hadn't unpacked so she found a dress and underthings from the top of her case and started to get dressed, flinging her nightdress toward her side of the bed. It fell off onto the floor. "You do not get to decide what I can or cannot handle. You don't have that right."

"But I can decide who gets to know about my injuries." He bit back. "I did it to protect you."

"Well now I found out anyway, and Kai, you have made it worse." She snapped. "Well done."

"Oh, you are just a delight when you are like this." He hissed. "You think that you have to deal with everything alone and that you can take it all when you know that you can't. You just don't want to admit any weaknesses. Go on, tell me that I am wrong." She swallowed. "I didn't tell you because I want to help you heal as much as I can. What will one more scar do to me compared to what you went through?"

She started lacing up the back of her dress, and he moved toward her, taking the laces from her hands. She stiffened as he started to tighten them. "Irene." His voice was low and soft. He kissed the side of her throat. "I love you. No matter what." She bit her lip, digging her teeth into where she'd split it the day before.

"We are two very different people, and we always will be. I don't want to give you any more hurt, yet you always feel the need to help and protect those around you. We have to find that middle ground somewhere."

"Where is it though?" She whispered.

"I don't know." He tied the laces into a neat bow and set his hands on her waist. "But that is something that I think we can work towards. It just takes time and effort."

"I'm not good at relationships, Kai." She leant against him and he tightened his grip, grounding her against his frame. "I am… secretive and I lie and I have to. There is always going to be a part of me that you cannot have and that I will not change."

"I know." He replied. "And the same goes for me. That doesn't mean that we are doomed."

"They could write novels about our story."

"I could write poems." He pressed his lips to the back of her head and spoke into her hair. "There will be things that I don't tell you because I don't want to add to your burdens."

"You aren't a burden." She said, echoing what he had said to her the day before.

"No, but you worry and that is a burden." He said. "You shouldn't have to deal with all of that worry and if I can help by not telling you something that, in the long run, doesn't matter, then I am going to. To protect your mind as much as I will protect your body."

"I want to know though." She said. "If you are hurt, I can help you, and I want to help you. Knowing that you are safe? You have no idea how relieved I was when you crashed into the Cathedral. When Catherine had said that only one of you was there, I was terrified that maybe they had killed you. That I was going to lose you too soon."

"But you didn't."

"I know that now." She rested her head on his shoulder. "But I didn't, and to see you alive? It was like a weight that had been crushing me was suddenly gone, and there you were, holding me." He tightened his arms, one folded across her stomach, and the other moved up to be diagonal across her chest, grasping her shoulder in a tight grasp.

"Alright." He relented, slowly exhaling, ruffling her hair with warm breath that still sent a shiver down her spine. His lips brushed where goosebumps had appeared on her neck and down toward her shoulder. "Next time I am hurt, I will tell you, but only when I know that you are okay first, alright? Is that a good compromise?"

"Deal." She said. Kai was about to release her, but she was leaning on him pretty heavily. "Physically fine that is, you don't get to wait six months for the nightmares to stop and then go 'hey so remember that time someone tried to kill us? Yes, so they did stab me. But it is fine now.'" He snorted.

"Fine." She leant away and he could step away to get dressed and she could go to find Catherine.

She was still in bed, with the sheets drawn up to her forehead and when she peeked over the edge of it, Irene could see that her hair was sticking to her cheeks. She wilted. "Catherine?" She didn't turn the main lamp on, but when she perched on the edge of Catherine's bed, she flicked the bedside light on, casting a meagre glow over a stack of dusty books that she must have left behind to have something to read if she had to return in a hurry.

Catherine swallowed, opened her mouth, and then shut it again. Irene tucked her legs up underneath her skirt before reaching out to put her hand where she assumed Catherine's shoulder was. "How much did you sleep last night? A couple of hours?" She nodded.

"And the night before that?"

"None." Catherine croaked. Irene made a tsking sound. "I didn't want you to think that I couldn't handle it, and send me back."

"I am not sending you back," Irene said firmly. "You are a very intelligent young lady, and I think that you are going to make an excellent Librarian one day."

"Really?"

"Really. But you need to get some sleep. Are you having nightmares?" She nodded. "Alright. I thought that you would."

"I didn't want to worry you."

"You know, you are the second person to tell me that, and I have only been awake for an hour." She sighed. "Do you want me to sit up whilst you get some more sleep? Sometimes it helps to not be alone."

"I don't want to sleep again."

"Alright, but you'll have to sleep eventually. Why don't you have a shower? Kai is trying to sort out coffee and maybe some food? I know that there was a delivery. I think that'll do you some good." Catherine nodded. "Just tell us if you need anything. Kai may pretend to be above caring, but I think we both know that it's an act."

Irene waited for Catherine to be washed and dressed before they went to find Kai. He was in the kitchen, back to them as something in the pan sizzled and popped.

“That smells really good.” Irene said. “Hash browns?”

“Potato pancakes.” Kai said. “I don’t really know if they have a proper name when I think about it. They shouln’t be too long.” Irene squeezed Catherine’s shoulder. “Hopefully Silver wont mind us raiding his kitchen.”

“He probably wont even notice that we have been in here.” Catherine said. She dragged a chair over to a cupboard, and climbed on it to reach the top shelf and found out a mug. “I always use this one.” She said when Kai glanced up, and did a double take when he saw her.

Irene filled the kettle. “I think most cultures have some form of breakfast fried potato.” She said. “Where does your uncle keep the coffee?” Catherine found out the tin caddy.

“It is a very good comfort food.” Kai said. “No sauce to dip it in, but they’re still good.” Irene sniffed the coffee. “How good is that?”

“Smells good.” She shrugged. “Catherine?”

“Uncle has expensive taste. That usually means it tastes good.” She said. “I think most cultures have some form of fried sweet dough too. Is there anywhere in London that does good fried sweet potato? I haven't had that… in a while.” Irene wondered if it was something that her parents had made for her when she was a child.

Well, she still was a child, in Irene’s opinion.

Younger.

“Not that I can think of.” Kai said. “But if you know any recipes,” He started portioning the food out onto waiting plates as Irene grabbed the kettle before it could whistle and poured it into the french press. “I like trying to things. Unless you can cook it?”

Catherine nearly laughed, but it came out strangled and choked. “I cant cook.” She admitted. “Never needed to learn.”

“I need lesson plans.” Irene muttered. She left Kai’s coffee black, and added milk and sugar to hers and Catherine’s cups. “Cooking. Chinese. How to spot someone following you.”

“Forging signatures. Robbing banks?” Kai smiled in thanks for the coffee as they sat down. “Bribery. Blackmail. I can go on.”

Irene hummed around a mouthful of fried potato. “This is really good.” She said, scooping more up on a fork. “You need to cook more often.”

“You need to eat proper meals more often.” Kai said, he sighed and shook his head. He knew that it wasn't entirely intentional, she could get swept up in a book and forget to eat when she lost track of time or ignore the need for food in order to work for longer, but she was losing weight.

“Feed me more often.” She shot back. Catherine was silent as she picked at her food. “Catherine, you will not be disappearing to read anything until you eat all of your food.”

“I’m not that hungry.” Catherine said, but she did put a forkful of food into her mouth.

“You need to eat.” Kai said. “You’ll feel worse if you don’t.” He watched her push the food around her plate. “There isn't that much there, I didn't want to make a lot in case you two weren't that hungry.”

“You don’t need to pretend to care.” She muttered.

“I don’t need to pretend, because it isn't pretend.” He replied. “Just because I can be… prickly, doesn’t mean that I want you to pass out because you don’t eat.” Irene smiled at him, a genuine smile for the first time in too long, even though it was only a very small one.

She slowly ate a bit more of the food as Irene took Kai’s hand under the table, and squeezed it. Irene ate somewhat awkwardly, with only one hand, but she was hungry and it didn't take long to clear her plate, before she started on her coffee.

“I want to check your injuries.” Kai told Irene, and she nodded.

“I suppose that is fair.” She said. She wanted to be petty and point out that he didn't want her to check his wounds, so why comply with his wishes? But that wasn't fair. It was a lot more complicated than that, and being petty wouldn't fix things. “What do you plan on doing with your time, Catherine?”

“Reading.” She replied like it was the most obvious thing ever, the only real answer, which it was, Irene just wanted to be certain.

“In the library?”

“Probably my room. The library is at the front of the house. Maybe it would be best if we stay at the back of the house.” She got up to add a bit more sugar to her coffee before wrapping her hands around it.

“You weren't hurt, were you?” Kai asked, wracking his brain. He’d been fairly certain that all of the blood on her had been Irene’s or maybe Shan Yuan’s from her helping him out of the car.

“Just some bruises.” She said. “I’m fine.” Irene arched a brow. “Really. It’s just bruises. My knees are a lovely shade of purple. It is delightful.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Kai sighed, shaking his head. “I think that you should be fine in the library as long as the curtains are closed and the lights aren't too bright.”

“Maybe just a quick trip in to find things to read.” Irene mused, she swilled the remains of her coffee around the bottom of her cup, watching the bitter dregs catch the light, before she refilled it. “We’ll see how it goes, I suppose.”

Catherine finished and took her things over to the sink, but she stilled when she went to leave the room. “Catherine?”

“I… don’t want to be alone right now.” She quietly admitted. “I don’t want to accidentally fall asleep and be alone.”

“Well, we both need to find something to read. So once Kai has finished worrying over me, we can find something to read, and then find somewhere to sit.” Irene said, nodding toward the chair that Catherine had been occupying.

“Thank you.” Catherine just about came up to Irene’s shoulders, and with her head dropped low and her shoulders hunched, she seemed to be so much smaller than she actually was, almost tiny. Irene felt a sudden wave of anger. Silver had known how young she was, Silver had known how dangerous working for the Library could be, and he had sent a child right into the middle of that.

She was tempted to slap him across the face next time she saw him, it was the very least of what he deserved. Sadly, he would definitely enjoy it far too much. Maybe she could convince Kai to punch him in the face, it wouldn't take much and the idea of Silver’s nose being broken very nearly managed to make her smile.

Kai had packed the first aid kit in the bottom of his bag, so it took him a few minutes to find it out. Irene had sat cross legged against the pillows of the bed, her arm held out and balanced on her knee. Catherine had draped herself over one of the armchairs in the window, though the curtains remained clothes.

She’d thrown her legs over one arm, and was leaning against the other, glasses sat crookedly on her nose as she read one of the dusty books that had been in her bedroom. It reminded Kai of Irene, minus the glasses, though he wouldn't be surprised if she ended up needing them, or if she did already need them and she’d simply lost them somewhere in her bombsite of a bedroom in the Library.

The wound had scabbed over, so Kai left it unwrapped so that the air could get to it. He neatly rolled and pinned Irene’s sleeve at the elbow, so that it wouldn't rub where her wrist was raised and swollen around the edge of the gouge.

“What did you do this with?” He asked, tracing the outline of the injury.

“A hair pin.” She explained. “I wiggled it around a lot to get a handful of blood.” He looked up at her.

“Is that a joke?”

“Sadly, no, it isn't.” She sighed. “I’ve had worse.”

“I am aware, but this is rather bad.” He said. He traced one of the scars in the palm of her hand. “Deeper than these ones. I suppose that, at the very least, I can be grateful that you didn't get shot again.”

“Unlike someone.” She muttered dryly.

“That wasn't in my chest.” He replied.

“You got shot in the chest?” Catherine didn't look up from her book and turned the page.

“A few months back.” Irene shrugged. “I got better.” Kai snorted and shook his head, before leaning in to press his lips to her temple.

“I wish that you wouldn't take these things so lightly.”

“If I don’t laugh, I will cry.” She sighed. “Shall we go and find something to read?”

Silver’s library wasn't particularly large, but there were a good two dozen bookcases filled with neatly shelved books. Irene sighed, there was utterly no order to it, or not one that she noticed or knew. Books that were written by the same author were shelves apart, some were on their sides with tchotchkes on top, at the very least, they were all showing signs of being read and were kept well dusted.

“How on earth are these organised?” Kai sneered, trying to work it out too.

“Oh don’t get me started.” Catherine muttered. “Paperbacks in one section, hardbacks in another, then leather bound, then cloth bound. Yes it annoys me too.”

“Why?”

“The aesthetic?” She suggested with a shrug. “And then by genre, and then how much he enjoyed them within each genre, but not in the way that you would think.”

“What?”

“Well, he decided that he wanted books that he liked the most on hand, so those ones are at eye-level for him, and then the ones that he likes less and less split between the shelves up and down. So the ones that he likes the least are either on the top shelf, or on the bottom.”

“I think I’m going to get a migraine.” Irene muttered, rubbing her forehead. “So does he just… memorise where they all are?”

“They used to be in colour order, which did make it a bit easier to find what you want.” Catherine tilted her head. “I can probably find the right genres, but then you’re on your own for the actual books, since, well, it is subjective.”

“Lets start simple and see if there is a pattern. Shakespeare?” Irene suggested. “Is there a separate section for plays or do we have to look for… let’s say the tragedies?”

Kai stepped back. Irene was beginning to be a little more herself as she let herself sink into the roll of a Librarian, of finding books. And he knew how much she loved a good puzzle, evenm if the puzzle was trying to figure out a pattern in someone elses tastes.

She was more animated. He could see that she was still tired and aching, in the stiffness of her movement. She was trying though, and that was a start, even if this was just a distraction for the time being, it was better than nothing.

It took them eight minutes to find Irene’s chosen Shakespearian play, King Lear. There wasn't a section for plays and evidently, Silver did not enjoy it. Kai’s own choice of a poetry anthology was even harder to find, not because Silver didn't highly rate it, but because there wasn't much poetry to be found.

According to Catherine, her uncle kept more books in his study, though they were of the more… erotic kinds. And apparently, much of that was poetry.

At the very, _very_ least, Kai could appreciate the idea of reading poetry to his lover as they fell asleep on his chest. Irene had seemed to appreciate that idea too and more than once, she’d fallen asleep as he read Keats aloud.

They ended up back in Kai and Irene’s room, with a stop off into the kitchen for a large pot of coffee to drink whilst they read. It only took Catherine ten minutes to fall asleep, Irene nudged Kai, and then nodded toward Catherine. His smile was soft and gentle. He gathered the blanket from the end of the bed, and very carefully tucked it over her.

“Good, she needs to sleep.” Irene said as Kai sat down beside her again and she leant against him. “So do you.”

“And I promise that I will tonight.” He said, kissing her forehead. “You are really worried about her. Let me help.” She smiled and tilted her head back against the pillows so that she could examine him. “What? She’s growing on me. Like fungus.”

“She’s only have a few hours sleep since we came back.” Irene said. “She doesn’t want to be alone. She’s already gone through so much and it wasn't what she had signed up for.” Kai sighed.

“Silver told her a pack of lies?”

“And me too. I thought that she’d had at least some experience in espionage. But she doesn’t. She isn't even eighteen yet.” Kai’s hand tightened on her shoulder.

“What?” He hissed between his teeth. “Silver sent his neice, a child, to work with you?”

“I know.” She said, she touched his hand, entwining her fingers with his. “I will be having words with him. But she was worried that if she said anuthing, I wouldn't teach her. She’s almost scared of the idea of being sent back to live with Silver.”

“I cant imagine him to be the fuzziest family member.”

“I suggested that she work in a normal library for a few years to work out what she wanted. Apparently Silver wont allow that unless it is useful to him.” She traced circles with her thumb on the palm of his hand. “She wants to stay, no matter what we’ve been though. I’m not going to refuse to teach her.”

“How old were you when you started your field training?” He asked.

“Nineteen.” She said. “Not much older than she is now really, but I already knew what it was like in the field. She had no idea.” She stretched her legs out in front of her, beginning to feel pins and needles. “If I had known that I’d have gone over much more of what we do, what we have seen, when she first moved in with us.”

“He should have told you.” Kai muttered.

“I know, but we can’t change it.” Irene said. “All I can do now is to help her.”

“We can help her.” Kai insisted. “I don’t think this is the place for her, but if you are both determined, then I will help you in anyway that I can.” She smiled at him. “If only to ever be rewarded when you look at me like that.”

“Softy.” She muttered.

“Only for you.”

Vale had told them that he would leave any messages at the back door, so once they were certain that Catherine was deeply asleep and wouldn't be woken by the opening and shutting of the bedroom door, Kai slipped away and returned with a sheath of paper.

_Strongrock & Winters. &Catherine_

His handwriting was as illegible as ever.

_My contacts suggest that there is one more plan to kidnap Winters, no mention of myself or anyone else though. It would be best to remain in Silver’s home for the time being until I can further investiate this._

_P.Vale._

“At least we have a bit more information now.” Kai said as Irene slumped against his side. “And that we aren't over reacting. I’ll protect you, Irene. I promise.”

“I know that you will always try.” She said, her voice sounded strange to her own ears, like she was hearing it through a wall. “I hope that will be enough, but we just don’t know.”

“Irene, I think we both are fully aware of your ability to save yourself.” Kai said. “And for when you can’t, I will be there for you.” Irene wondered if he would grow tired of repeating himself, and of her doubting his promises.

She didn't mean to. But that was such a big promise.

To always protect her?

He’d made it clear that he would go against his brother for her, but his father? Would he protect her if his father demanded him elsewhere?

She didn't want to know the answer to that one. It was either no, he wouldn't protect her, and she wasn't sure if her heart could take that without breaking. Or yes, he would protect her, and she wasn't sure if she could hear that without breaking too.

Him vowing to always protect her when she still choked on words such as love. She couldn’t even begin to contemplate forever.

“Irene?” She’d gone very still and silent in his arms.

Her eyes were shining with tears when she looked up at him, and she thickly swallowed. “I-” She burined her face in his chest as the tears started running down her cheeks. Kai wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest.

“I’ve got you.” He said, she already had her legs over his so it wasn't much effort to seat her on his lap so that he could cradle her against his body, lips against her hair. “Hey, it’s alright. I’ve got you.”

“I know.” Irene hiccuped. “You have me, and you love me and-” Another hiccup. “I can’t say any of it,” She sniffed, disgusted with herself. “I can’t…” She could feel her heart pounding in her chest until it was painful. It was like her heart was trying to crawl into her mouth and spill all of her secrets but was instead merely choking her. She grasped onto Kai’s shirt as she coughed, trying to breath deeply but her lungs burnt.

Kai’s hand was warm on her back, rubbing soft circles as he spoke to her in a low tone. “Irene, you’re going to be alright, you just need to try and slow your breathing. Irene, come on, I know you can do it.”

The room felt too hot, oppressively so, like the air was thick and humid, choking her. Kai’s tight embrace wasn't helping, his hand was burning hot on her back.

She thrashed, forcing herself away from him. Kai tried to tighten his grip, but her elbow caught him in the stomach, winding him, and she slipped free. She got off the bed, but her legs were like jelly and she hit the ground with a sharp cry.

“What’s wrong with her?” She heard Catherine’s voice suddenly and was faintly aware that she must have woken her up.

“I think she’s having a panic attack.” Kai said. “Irene, can you hear me?” He touched her and she jerked away from him.

“Don’t… touch me.” She managed to rasp. “It’s too much.”

“Alright.” He said. “Catherine, just sit with her, Irene, I’m going to go and fetch you a glass of water.” Catherine looked around the room, before grabbing one of the pillows off the bed, and guiding Irene until she had her head on the pillow.

“I know I am not the most social, but is my company really this bad?” She joked, but it was weak. “Don’t worry, I cry when staying in my uncle’s house too?”

Irene coughed and Catherine, not really having any idea what she was meant to be doing, patted her on the back.

“Then why did you say?” Irene wheezed, grateful for the distraction.

“I didn't have anyone else.” Catherine said. “And he left me to my own devices once I was finished with school last year.” Irene slowly sat herself upright, feeling a little dizzy as she did so. “Maybe you should stay laying down.” Catherine suggested as Irene pulled out her handkerchief and began to dry her face.

Her breathing was still unsteady and jerky, catching in her throat and making her cough, before her heart settled and she could breath again. It was exhausting. It was almost like she could feel all of her energy being drained out of her body, sapped away with each heave of her chest.

“I woke you.”

“It’s fine.” Catherine shrugged. “You needed some help.”


	4. Day four

They picked another bedroom for their second night in Silver’s home, Catherine showed them to one that had a couch tucked underneath the window, so that she didn't have to sleep alone, and so that Irene didn't have to choose between her and Kai.

They had stayed up late talking until one by one, they had fallen asleep, starting with Kai. He was the last one to wake up too. When he finally opened his eyes, both Catherine and Irene were awake, though wrapped up in robes rather than being dressed, and were on the floor by the sofa, draped in blankets and using the light from the fire to read.

“You two are almost sweet when you are sat like that.” He muttered, mouth dry, as he reached for the glass of water on his bedside table. “Let me guess, you both had a lot of sleepovers when you were younger?”

“No.” Catherine said, shaking her head.

“It isn't really a sleepover when you are at boarding school.” Irene said. “But I suppose that this isn't too far from what it was like back then.” Catherine and Irene were leant against each other, Catherine was small enough to neatly tuck underneath Irene’s arm if she chose to.

“Cute.” Kai smiled.

“I am not cute.”

“I don’t know.” He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and padded over to join them, Irene held out a part of her blanket for him. “I would say you look very cute right now.” She lightly elbowed him. “Have you been awake for long?”

There was thin grey light making its way around the edges of the curtains, though that didn't betray much, just that it was probably sometime after seven in the morning.

“A few hours.” Catherine shrugged, trying to sound casual and not quite managing it. “It’s fine though, I’m getting used to not sleeping much.”

“You need to be able to sleep when you get the chance.” Kai said firmly. “Or you will find it really hard when you suddenly have to be awake for three days in a row.”

“That isn't a common thing though.” Irene said. “But Kai is right, I know you don’t want to sleep when you have nightmares, but you will feel worse for not sleeping.”

“I slept more last night than I have the last two.” Catherine said, she sounded dejected and was looking at the floor. “That’s a little better, isn't it?” She looked up at Irene and Kai with wide eyes, suddenly keen for their validation in a way that made Irene ache and remind her of when she had begun her training, so eager for approval and to make her parents proud.

It had only take another twenty odd years to actually hear it from them.

“Yes, it’s better.” Irene smiled. “But you will end up with a caffeine addiction if you aren't careful.”

“There are worse addictions to have.” Catherine’s stubbornness had taken powerful magic to remove and now that she was rid of Lord Guantes’ influence, it was back even stronger than ever. Irene was fairly certain that she was just arguing for the sake of arguing.

“We could get you a teddy bear?” Kai suggested.

“I already own one.” Catherine said with a sniff. “Thank you for the offer though, it is nice to know that you care.” Irene loved the sound of Kai’s low chuckle, she could feel it rumble through his body as she leant against his chest.

“Of course I care.” Kai sighed. “Do you know how much trouble Irene would be in if you got killed?”

“Oh, wow, I think I am genuinely hurt.” Catherine muttered. “Should I go and make us some breakfast?”

“I don’t mind doing it again.” Kai said. “If you want to stay up here reading for a bit longer.”

“Oh thank god.” Catherine said. “I would have just about managed to burn some toast. I really should learn how to cook at some point, but if you are offering…”

“That makes two of you.” Kai said, he quickly kissed Irene’s temple before getting up, and dragging her to her feet behind him, before offering Catherine a hand too. Irene nearly smiled when she accepted and he pulled her up.

Catherine stumbled and Kai quickly caught her. “Sorry, you are quite light.” He said. “Guess I didn't need to use as much force.”

“And what does that mean?” Irene asked, putting her hands on her hips. She tried to sound light and jokey and just about managed it to Catherine’s ears. Kai, who had known her much longer, much better and in a very different way, saw straight through it. He touched her elbow.

“That you are a good… four inches taller than she is.” Kai said. “No need to get huffy with me.”

“I do not get huffy.” Irene replied.

“Oh no, never.” Catherine said dryly, tidying up the blankets. “I have never heard a sarcastic comment coming out of your mouth, not a single one. Nope.”

None of them bothered with getting dressed as they headed down to the kitchen. It seemed like a waste of time when they would probably end up back under blankets and reading, like they had done the day before. Irene shoved her feet into slippers and neatened her hair up a little, it had got all tousled and was beginning to come loose due to her tossing in her sleep. Kai quite liked the way that it looked, falling over her eyes in curls, but she pulled it back into a tight braid before he could comment.

Probably a good thing, with Catherine in the room, their only intimacy was when he kissed her on the forehead. He hadn't even kissed her goodnight the night before, and whilst they had all slept better than they’d done the night before, he missed the little routines and habits that he and Irene had come up with over the last few months. There was something soothing about being able to roll over and kiss Irene before he’d even opened his eyes, able to find her on touch alone.

Irene touched his wrist, dragging cool fingers over his skin as Catherine left the room. “Are you sure you didn't mind this?” She asked, it had been her to suggest that Catherine share their room for the night, so that she could get a little rest in peace. Kai hadn't argued against the suggestion.

“I don’t mind it.” He said. “If Silver isn’t going to properly look after her, I suppose that we are going to have to do it instead.”

“We should have started with a dog, or a cat.” Irene sighed. “But no, we went straight for the making sure that a whole entire person doesn’t run into the street and get hit by a car.” He snorted in an entirely un-princelike manner. “She’s better than a cat thought.”

“I don’t know. You can get some adorable cats, and they don’t leave you with just cold water showers.” He smiled. He opened his mouth to speak again when they heard a shriek rip through the air, and they bolted on instinct. Catherine’s scream was recognisable and had them both running toward it before they could really think about the fact that neither were prepared for any sort of struggle.

Catherine was stood, wide eyed, with a heavy cast iron pan in her hands, and Vale, unconscious on the floor in front of her. She dropped the pan with a loud clatter that broke one of the floor tiles and turned to them, tears streaming down her face.

“He-” She gasped. “I didn't realise and I just… I just hit him with the nearest thing.” She put her hand to her mouth and Irene thought that she looked like she was about to pass out. She jolted forward and grabbed Catherine by the shoulders, pulling her out of the way, so that Kai could check on Vale.

“It’s okay.” Irene said in what she hoped was a soothing manner, running her hands up and down Catherine’s upper arms. “You didn't know that he would be here. I am sure that he will understand.”

“I hit him really hard.” Catherine sniffled. “I really hurt him.”

“It was an accident.” Irene said, before she pulled Catherine into a hug, holding her tight and close. “You didn't mean to hurt him.”

“He probably should have known better.” Kai muttered as he knelt next to Vale and prodded his shoulder. He was most definitely out cold. “He’ll be fine. You probably have given him a concussion and he’ll have a nasty bump on his head, but-” He got to his feet and filled a glass full of water and slowly started to pour it over the back of Vale’s head. “You didn't do any real damage.”

Vale jolted before groaning and putting a hand to the back of his head. “Strongrock?” He muttered, still laying face down on the floor.

“See?” Kai said to Catherine. “He’s fine.”

“I think someone hit me with a sledgehammer.” Vale muttered as he sat himself up, the room took a few seconds to rectify itself and Irene took the opportunity to pick up the pan and hold it in front of Vale’s face.

“Actually, you terrified Catherine and she knocked you out with this.” She said dryly. “What the hell, Vale?” Vale looked at her, eyes unfocused, and then to Catherine.

“Sorry about that.” He said. “I did not mean to scare you.”

“I didn't mean to… well, no, I did mean to hurt you.” She had dried her eyes with the cuff of her gown, but she was still a bit sniffly. “I just didn't realise that it was you.”

“I can tell.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “I should probably have left a note, but this was potentially important.” Kai helped him to his feet and gave him a cold cloth, which he held to the back of his head. “Someone broke into your house.”

Irene shut her eyes and leant on the kitchen counter, aware that the room was moving in a way that it shouldn’t have been, swaying slightly. “Okay.” She said, nauseated. “What do we do now?”

“They are currently being questioned by the police.” Vale said. “Interestingly, they are claiming to be your parents.” Her eyes flew open. “I don’t know what they look like, or even their names, so I could hardly vouch for them. You need to come to the station to identify them.”

“Uncle is going to murder me.” Catherine muttered, scuffing her toe over the crack in the tile. “I had thought that maybe we could just not tell him that we had been here, he wouldn't have noticed usually.”

“Silver can cook?” Kai asked incredulously. “He really doesn’t seem like the type to me.”

“Some of his guests like it when he cooks, for just them.” She shrugged. “I avoid the kitchen on principle when that happens. And also, the no skills past chopping things up. Instructions are hard to follow.”

“I have noticed.” Irene sighed. “Right, let me get dressed and I will head down to the station.”

“Breakfast first.” Kai insisted. “You need to stop skipping meals all the time.”

“Coffee.” Irene muttered. “Yes, fine, I will eat and then go, that should give Vale some time to recover. Also, Kai, out of mild curiosity, teaching Catherine a few self defence skills, do you think that is something that you could do?”

“I don’t think she needs them.” Vale grumped.

“Maybe she won't have a frying pan next time.” Irene pointed out. “Have you ever considered it, Catherine?” She turned to her student, who was trying to desperately pretend that she hadn't been near to hysteria and still had watering eyes.

“I’ve never thought about it before.” She said. “Maybe learning would be good?”

“We could use the basement.” Kai said. “When we’re back home. A couple of hours a week, just to make sure she’s up to scratch.” Irene also made a mental note to try and find a knife for Catherine that suited her, something small that she could hide in a boot maybe. Or a flick knife. Either way, something small and dainty seemed to be perfect for her. Irene could teach her how to use that.

Kai presented her with bacon, eggs and toast when she came back down, neatly dressed with her hair properly bunned, and a cup of coffee too. Vale had coffee but had declined food on account of being struck across the head with cast iron making him a touch nauseated.

“What are you going to do if they are your parents?” Kai asked Irene. She slowly exhaled, staring into her cup of coffee.

“I don’t know.” She said. “I want to ask them so many questions. If they knew who my biological father really was, or more information about my mother. They said that she was dead now, and that she’d never mentioned a father.” She swallowed. “That I had never been her choice.”

“But?” Kai reached over to touch her hand. She resisted the urge to pull away from him, and forced herself to relax.

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I don’t know if I can do that to them, and if I can do that to myself. I need to know… but I don’t know if I am ready for that yet. I don’t want to lose them.”

“They are your parents, no matter your blood, Winters.” Vale said.

“I know.” She sighed and took a sip of the coffee, it was still burning hot, but she wanted to stall, so that she could think for a bit longer. “But either they knew, and I don’t know if I can forgive them for keeping that from me for my entire life, and I lose them. Or they didn't know and they won’t want anything more to do with me because of what I am.”

“Who.” Kai corrected. “You are not a what, no matter the circumstances of your birth, where you came from, or whatever else you try to rationalise this with. You are a who, not a what.”

“I feel like a what.” She muttered. “Alberich is a disgusting monster. And he is my father. Birth or biological father, whatever.”

“Sperm donar” Catherine supplied. Vale looked incredibly affronted. “Why are you looking at me like that? I am technically not wrong. All he did was supply the genetic material. The people who raised her are her parents.”

“I suppose that is one way to look at it.” Kai said, he was nearly laughing at Vale’s expression. “Vale, in some worlds where people struggle to have children, people are paid for their- ah… let’s go with genetic material. This is just the same concept.”

“Only the rest of the genetic material came from his sister.” Catherine choked on a bit of toast and Kai reached over to thump her on that back.

“He did what?” She wheezed. “That’s… you just have an awful sense of humour, right?”

Irene could feel her cheeks and eyes burning. “No.” She said very quietly. “No. He kidnapped his sister and took her to a high chaos world. It isn't possible for Librarians to have children with other Librarians under normal circumstances.”

“What about with non-Libraians?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “The only person I know one person who is a Librarian and has a child, and that child was conceived before he became a Librarian. Children don’t really mix with our lifestyle.”

“Your parents managed to raise you.”

“That is true.” Irene shrugged. “I was an excellent prop apparently. And then sent to a boarding school. Catherine, if you know that children are something that you want in your future, you really should be considering another career path.”

“I could just get a cat. It’s the same thing.” She said. “You are allowed pets in the Library, right?”

“Yes, there are quite a few cats.” Irene said, grateful for the change in the conversation and taking the chance to divert it away from her parentage, anything but that. “A lot of the senior Librarians who live in the Library all of the time have them. Journeyman tend to be too busy and frequently out in the Alternates to look after one.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not a cat person.”

“You are clearly a people person.” Kai poked. Irene rolled her eyes, and finished off her coffee. “Do you want me to come with you?” Catherine stiffened in her seat about the prospect of being left alone in her uncle’s house and flicked her eyes to Irene, the beseeching clear in them.

“We also arrested two people, they were following me, apparently looking for you.” Vale said. “So, I do believe that it is safe to return to your current home.”

“You could have started with that part.” Irene muttered. “Get the good news out first before going with, either there are people pretending to be my parents, or I am going to have to see my parents.”

“You were saying that you wished you could have spent more time with them last time they were here.” Kai said, but it was weak and they all knew it. Last time, she had wanted more answers about who she was, where she had come from. Now she didn't want to know. She really didn't want to know.

“Well, I think, all things considered, that I am allowed to change my mind.” She said before slowly exhaling. “Right. Kai, Catherine, I suppose that I will see you back home then?”

“I’ll sort your things out.” Kai said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

Scotland yard was a hive of activity, as it always was, no matter the time of day, the only time it was quiet was the dead of winter, when people did not want to be outside, no matter what. Vale led her through the reception, pausing so that she could sign in, and then down a set of narrow back stairs.

Singh was waiting for them outside of the interview room. “Thank you for coming so soon.” He said. “If you just come through this way, you can see through the observation window. They said that you left your door unlocked and they thought that you were simply asleep still.”

“Right.” Irene said, following him into the small room. She sighed and rubbed her temples. “Yes, that is my parents.”

Vale and Singh exchanged glances.

“This is the second time that they have let themselves into my home whilst I have been out. I seriously need to look into how to secure the place against them.” She sighed. “Does this mean that they are free to leave?”

“It depends. Did you leave your door unlocked?”

“For the sake of being able to go home and yell at them, yes. I left in a rush and must have forgotten.” She huffed, knowing that this was just so that the police had something to write down.

“Good enough for me.” Singh said. “Yes, they are free to go.”

The cab was a strained and very awkward silence as they trundled through London. Irene stared out of the window, pointedly not looking at her parents. She had barely said anything except to briefly introduce Vale. Her mother had tried to draw conversation out of her, but she had rather bluntly shot it down.

She showed them into the lounge, and went to the kitchen to make a pot of tea. Kai was waiting for her. “Well?”

“My parents. Yet again breaking in to ‘check’ on me.” She huffed. “I may actually scream at them this time. It would be rather satisfying.” He put his hands on her shoulders as she filled the kettle up.

“I have no idea how you can sleep with your back this tense.” He said, digging his thumbs into spots either side of her spine. “You know what we are doing this evening? It is non-negotiable.”

“I get the feeling that I am going to get a massage.” She replied. “Which I would never argue against.” Kai was good at them, he had long fingers that were always warm, and was well practised at finding the tender spots in her aching muscles, working the knots out until she felt all jelly-like and usually rather sleepy, though easily revived when he started kissing her neck.

“You would be correct.” He said, giving her shoulders a squeeze before reluctantly releasing her. “Have you said anything to your parents?”

“I’m not going to.” She said. “I don’t want to hear any answers that they could possibly have right now.” She took a deep breath. “And I am not ready to learn anything more yet.”

“Alright.” He said. “I will leave you to yell at your parents until you feel better.”

“You can come and join us, just let me get the shouting out of my system first.” She sighed. “Tea or coffee? It feels like a coffee kind of day to me.”

“It most definitely is.” Kai chuckled. “How is Vale’s head? Catherine is reading in her room at the moment, I think. She is a lot more chatty with you around, I don’t think she likes me very much.”

“You do tend to rile her up for a laugh.”

“Like I said, she’s growing on me.” He said. “Good luck with your parents. Shout if you need me.”

“I’ll send Vale up to keep you company.” She made coffee and carried it into the lounge. Her mother was stood by the window whilst her father paced in front of the empty grate. “Right, this is the second time that you two have let yourself in. Whilst I am grateful that you came to see me, you can’t keep doing this!”

“We got word from Melusine that you had been attacked by Alberich. Again.” Her mother said very slowly and very carefully. The lack of emotion in her voice portraying far more than she likely intended to do. “Irene. Did he hurt you?”

How could she answer that?

He had hurt her. He had her on the ground screaming in unknown levels of agony. His words echoing through her hair as her mind reeled and the pendant had burnt into her chest. Instinctively, she brought her hand to it.

“Yes.” She said very quietly. “I have bruises all over, burns and cuts. They’ve all been tended to though.”

“Ray.” Her mother had swept her into a tight embrace before Irene could move. “Oh, my little girl.”

“I’m okay.” It was obviously a lie to everyone. “I’m still alive.” Her voice shook and betrayed how she was really feeling and her father, she would recognise the touch of his hand on her shoulder anywhere, guided her over to the sofa.

“Are you safe here?” Liu Xiang asked.

“I think so.” Irene said, she rested her head on his shoulder. Suddenly exhausted.

“Why you, Irene?” Her mother asked. “He keeps trying to kill you.” Irene swallowed.

“The first time was because he wanted a specific book. The second was because he wanted me to be his student once he had destroyed the Library.”

“And this time?” At least she wouldn't have to lie.

“I had damaged his body too much. He… he wanted to use mine to get into the Library.” She whispered. “He tried to possess me and I -” Her words caught in her throat and she forced herself to shut her eyes and breath deeply. “He was in my head. If it weren't for my friends, he likely would have won. Vale managed to keep him distracted long enough for him to lose focus on me, and I slipped free.”

Her parents had both gone deadly silent and pale. Raziel had pressed her lips into a thin line. “So he’s still out there. And he’ll still be wanting to take his revenge on you.” Her voice was dry and raspy, like her throat had tightened around the words.

“He can’t get into this world.” Irene said. “Not properly. And the woman that was helping him is dead now too.”

“So the police were watching your house because…”

“There was still orders out to kill Vale and Kai.” She said. “So we were staying elsewhere to avoid them. You two have to stop breaking in. If I wasn't around to vouch for you, then there could have been a lot more trouble.”

“Oh, like they would be able to keep us in a jail cell for long.” Her mother said dismissively. “We had to make sure that you were okay. I just thought that you were still in bed and were sleeping through the knocking.”

“I can't sleep through anything right now.” Irene muttered. “But I mean that, mother, father. You can’t keep doing this. I do not like having my privacy invaded by anyone, including you two. Just leave a message for me and I would have gone into the Library to see you.” Or she would have put it off and avoided it and come up with countless excuses to avoid them. Which they probably knew. They were just too polite to say that.

“Alright.” Liu Xiang sighed. “But you have to promise to actually tell us when these things are happening, Irene. We have to find out from other people and it would make us worry a lot less if we heard it from you first.”

“I suppose that is fair.” Irene said. “I was going to tell you, but I was so tired after talking to Melusine and I had Kai, Vale and my new student with me. And Kai’s brother. I didn't want to stop off in my rooms when I had them too.”

“Are you sure that you are fine, Irene?” Her father said. “You look exhausted.

“I am.” She sighed. “I am so tired right now and just… it has been a rough week, which is probably the biggest understatement of the year, I have been nearly killed… I am not going to even count it actually.”

“Maybe you should go back to being a journeyman.” Raziel said. “It’s safer to always be moving around, and you did like it. Not every Librarian has to have a permanent world. You could go back to how it was before. I am sure that they can find someone else to work the embassy.”

“I don’t want to leave.” Irene said quietly. “I have… I haven't had a life this stable since school and I don’t know if I can give that up as easily as I used to be able to.” She heard both of her parents sigh. “I know. I shouldn’t get attached. I shouldn’t be attached to a world or anyone outside of the Library. But I am. I like my work here.”

“Then, at the very least, look into more security. For our sakes.” Liu Xiang said. “We couldn’t ask you to give up things that you genuinely enjoy, what makes you happy.” They could, and she was surprised that they weren't asking that of her, but she appreciated that they weren’t.

Irene twitched as she heard a creaking sound. “Excuse me for a moment.” She said, getting up and opening the door. “Catherine, what have I said about eavesdropping?” Catherine was halfway up the stairs, clearly trying to make it look like she hadn't been listening in.

“Uh. To not get caught?” Catherine said, awkwardly turning around on the stairs.

“Exactly. I could hear you. Better luck next time, I suppose?” She said. “If you get some more coffee cups, you are welcome to join us.”

“Vale’s asleep.”

“I am honestly not surprised.” Irene sighed. “Leave him, we can make sure that he is alive later on. I am sure he will be fine.” She turned back to her parents. “Mother, Father, this is my new student, Catherine.”

Catherine came around the door, and gave a small, and somewhat awkward wave. “Hello.” She smiled. Raziel and Liu Xiang blinked at her.

“Ah, yes, she is a Fae.” Irene said. “Whatever you are thinking, I probably already know, have heard and have considered, or will be considering at some point in the future.”

“Like how she can’t go into the Library?”

“Yes.” Irene said. Catherine did the smart thing of keeping her mouth shut. “And yes, Coppelia knows.”

“Oh, you haven't heard?”

“I know she’s sick.” Irene said. “But before. I had talked to her about it and as long as I am not causing any trouble and keep Catherine alive, I won't get trouble from the Library. And I have a year to work out a way to deal with the other problems.” She shrugged and nudged Catherine off to get the coffee cups before calling Kai downstairs.

Once they were all seated, their conversation eased into topics that Irene found easier to discuss, books and crosswords. Catherine apparently had an unappreciated (and incredibly ironic) love for the classic fairy tales, Irene supposed that they must have been much like the stories that Fae were raised on. Myth. Legends. Fairy tales. Or should that be Faery?

Though she did prefer Anderson to Grimms.

Irene could feel herself almost beginning to relax. She was on edge somewhat, but she could feel herself be lulled by the familiarity of a debate on the finer points of certain stories. Of where to draw the line between a well used trope, and a cliché. Of character arcs and developments. It was so incredibly normal, that it hurt.

It hurt to sit here acting like everything was fine and normal when it was far from that. She was aching and exhausted and putting on an act that she could not let slip in front of her parents without revealing to them secrets that she couldn’t even begin to deal with.

Her coffee had long grown cold, forgotten in the way of conversation that she had been swept up into before very suddenly sucked under by the current and drowned in wave after wave of thoughts.

_“It will be my voice and my body.”_

Irene started. Kai’s hand waving in front of her eyes and she took an involuntary gasp of breath that made her choke, coughing. Before she could even think, she wasn't sure if she could think any more, all thoughts overrun with _his_ voice, she had raised her hand to her chest, clawing at where the pendant had been resting.

It hurt.

It was burning all over again and suddenly she wasn't in her lounge.

She was on her knees, screaming in pain with Catherine and Vale. Alberich’s voice in the back of her head. Crawling through her mind as he turned it to his. Ripping her apart like he was removing her very soul and leaving her hollow body for him, leaving her aimlessly to wander. To fade away. To be forgotten.

But that couldn’t be right.

Kai was right there. When she opened her eyes, she could see him. She could feel his hand on her wrists, holding them still before she could do any damage to herself.

This was real, his touch was real. His presence. Her presence.

But Alberich’s voice had felt real too.

“He’s-” She managed to gasp, desperately trying to breathe. At some point she had ended up on the floor. “In my head still.” Her cheeks were wet with tears as she gasped.

“He isn't.” Kai said firmly. He tightened his arms around her, holding her to his chest. “He is gone, Irene. You’re safe. He’s not here.”

“I can hear him still.”

“Irene.” Her mother’s voice was unusually gentle and she could feel Kai laying her on the floor, someone (probably Catherine) had got a pillow out for her. “Ray, darling. You’re okay. He isn't here. You said so yourself, he can’t get into this world.” She curled in on herself.

“Irene?” Catherine sounded scared. “He needed that pendent to be able to get into your mind. You don’t have it any more remember? I threw it away. We broke the connection.” Irene had blood underneath her fingernails from scrabbling at where it had been, it was slowly seeping through her dress from her deepening the cuts more than the pendant had done.

Kai’s hand rubbed circled on her upper back as she panted for breath, wheezing and choking. Her father was the one holding her hands still now, his grip firm and tight, leaving no wiggle room for her to slip free.

“You are safe.” Kai said. “You aren't contaminated with his chaos. You do not have the pendent on so he cannot control you. You are safe and free of his influence. You’re safe Irene. I promise.”

Her mother pulled out a handkerchief and began to clean her face up a little bit as Irene’s desperate gasps subsiding into sniffles and whimpers, utterly embarrassed with herself. Eventually, she went still, eyes half shut as a single tear ran down her cheek, and her father released her.

“I think taking her up to bed will be best.” Kai said, no one argued as he easily swung her up into his arms, and carried her out. Raziel helped tuck her in, and then sat on the edge of the bed, clutching her hand tightly. “Ma’am, I am going to do my best to look after her, and to keep her safe.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Raziel said. “I just wish that she’d take better care of herself. Be more careful.”

“She was being targetted. No matter where she would have gone, she would have been attacked.” Kai said. Raziel turned to him and Kai suddenly realised that Irene’s temper was not genetic, but learnt.

“She’d be safe in the Library if you left her.” She said, voice almost venomous. “She wouldn't stay if you weren't here.”

“If you really think that, you don’t know your daughter very well.” Kai said coldly. “She has far more holding her to this world than just me. Not to mention the fact that I doubt she’d believe that I came to that decision of my own volition.”

“If you cared about her-”

“Do not attempt to manipulate me madam. I care about your daughter a lot.” He knew that this was just because she was worried. They all were, for Irene to have what was evidently some kind of flash back so suddenly, to attempt to harm herself in such a way…

“She means a lot to me.” He slowly said, much calmer. “I would only leave Irene if she wanted me to, or I ceased to care for her. But that is clearly not the case. So I won't leave, I will do my best to protect her whilst she is with me though.”

Raziel dropped her head and kissed Irene’s forehead. “She’s my only daughter. We couldn’t have children and it wasn't easy for us to adopt her. She is all that we have.”

“I know.” Kai said softly. “I know that she means a lot to you, and that you and your partner mean a lot to her.” Kai wasn't entirely sure if Irene’s parents were married or had just been in a relationship for so long that they were practically married anyway. “But getting angry with me will not help her.”

Irene made a soft groaning noise in her sleep. It was not an easy rest, she was tense and seemed distressed. Kai reached out to touch her, and she settled almost immediately.

“She cares about you.” Raziel said.

“She does.” Kai agreed. “Pushing us apart won’t help her. Right now, she needs all of the assistance that she can have, and that she will accept. And stability.”

“Yes.” Raziel sniffed but very clearly was not about to apologise to him for the way that she had spoken. He oddly liked that about her. “Will she be safe here?”

“I intend on looking into improved security.” Kai said. Not that security would help keep them safe when they haven't been attacked at home once, probably because Irene had been wanted alive. “And Alberich cannot reach into this world. Irene created some kind of barrier.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.” Kai confessed. “Something to do with annexing a room to the Library in combination with my own abilities.”

“She was always precocious.” Liu Xiang said. Kai and Raziel looked up at him, he put a glass of water down for Irene when she woke up. “Could you at the very least encourage her to check in more often?”

“Of course.” Kai said, bowing her head. “I should probably see how Vale is doing. And then I will try to see about some lunch, hopefully Irene will have come around by then, and you are welcome to join us.”

It was dark in her room when Irene woke and she was struck by the sudden panic one always felt when they woke up in the wrong place. Before she recognised the stack of books on the bedside table, and her father, sat watching her.

“Hey, sunshine.” He said softly. Irene started sitting up. “Easy, you may want to stay laying down a little longer.”

“I take it that you didn't carry me up here?” Her mouth felt sticky.

“I did not.” He agreed with a chuckle that reminded her of truly atrocious jokes that she’d always complained loudly about as a child. “Do you remember what happened?” Irene’s head hurt, which said far too little all things considered.

“I had a flash back.” She said. “I could hear Alberich again.”

“You were quite wound up.” He said. “You took some time to calm down, and you’ve been sleeping for about an hour. You must have really worn yourself out. You opened up whatever happened to your chest.” Irene looked down at her bloody fingernails. “Catherine explained that there was some kind of pendant that did it originally.”

“It was.” Irene tried to sit up again and he didn't stop her this time. “It was like it was burning to me again.” She touched her chest. The new wound would eventually scar and obscure the scar from the bullet that she’d take to the chest back in Ya Yu’s court. How long ago that all seemed. Simpler times in a bizarre, disturbing way.

She’d take being shot again over Alberich any day of the week.

And she would much rather die than be used by him.

“Are you hungry?” Liu Xiang asked, handing her the glass of water. “You should probably eat some lunch.”

“I think I need to wash and get changed first. I feel disgusting.” In so many ways. Though the one at the forefront of her mind was the sensation of dried sweat on the back of her neck. It was deeply unpleasant and she probably did smell too good, not that anyone would be sniffing her.

“Alright.” He said. He leant over and kissed her forehead before getting up. “Your prince asked us to stay, we can’t be here much longer than a few hours more I’m afraid though.”

“It’s okay.” Irene said, she had drained the glass and put it down on her coaster. “I understand.”

“I wish that we could.” He replied. “Wait for you to feel more yourself.”

“You’ll likely be here for a few weeks then.” Irene pointed out. “Thank you for coming. I know I sounded ungrateful earlier, but you did break into my house.” He chuckled. “Really, dad, thank you.”

“You haven't called me that since you were seven, and decided that it was too childish.” He smiled and Irene shrugged.

“I guess I haven't.” She slowly got out of bed, holding the bedside table for support as she wobbled, head taking a few seconds to catch up with her movement. “I won’t be long.”

“Take all of the time that you need.” Her parents ended up staying for dinner and it was only after Catherine excused herself to go to bed (Vale had slept on and off through the day and left shortly after dinner) that they said their goodbyes.

“I’ll send you an email next time I’m in the Library.” Irene said, giving her mother a tight hug. “It wont be for a week or so maybe, so don’t worry if you don’t hear from me in the next few days.”

“Alright.” Raziel held her at arms length, and scrutinised her. “You need to make sure that you are eating proper meals, darling. I don’t like how thin you are getting.” Irene ducked her head. “Promise me that you are going to start looking after yourself properly.”

“Mother…”

“Promise me that.” She insisted. “That one little thing, for me.”

“I promise.” Irene sighed. “I will try, at the very least.”

“I have half a mind to make you swear it, but that would probably end badly.” Raziel sighed. “Alright. I’ll be waiting for the email.” Then, to Kai. “You keep good care of my girl, alright? I do not care who you are, if she gets hurt, there is going to be hell to pay.”

“I understand.” Kai was almost smiling, and then he was laughing at Irene’s shocked expression. “It’s fine, Irene. Don’t worry, I will keep good care of your daughter. That, I am willing to swear.”

Liu Xiang pulled Irene into a final hug, and kissed her forehead. “I don’t know what you went through, but no matter what, you can come to us.” He said softly but with an unspoken ferocity that reminded Irene of when she was young and he’d promised her that he’d protect her from the monsters under the bed. “You are our daughter, we love you, and we will always be here for you.”

Irene’s eyes suddenly were burning and she was blinking to hold back her tears. She sniffed, and nodded. “I know.” Her voice cracked. Her father touched her cheek.

“Just let us know if you need anything.” He said. “And we’ll do everything that we can to help.” Irene smeared a tear off her cheek.

“I’m sorry for being like this.” She said, feeling the overwhelming urge to explain everything competing with the overwhelming disgust of her truths. “Everything has just been so much recently.”

“I know.” Raziel said. “Go and get some rest, maybe we can come again when you are feeling a bit better.” She locked the door behind them and turned to Kai, who silently held his arms open and let her bury her face in the crook of her neck as she trembled, desperately trying to not burst into tears on his shoulder.

“Just let it all out, ‘Rene.” He whispered into her hair. “Let go, I’ll catch you.”

“If you can control water,” She sniffed. “Can you make me stop crying?”

“Sadly not.” He said, he ran his hand up the back of her neck, combing his fingers into her hair. “You’d still be crying, just… the tears wouldn't be a problem. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Can you check Catherine is okay?” She asked, stepping back and drying her face on the cuff of her sleeve.

“Sure. Why don’t you get yourself ready for bed and I will join you.” He said. Irene nodded before starting her routine of checking that all of the doors and windows were locked up tight. Kai headed upstairs.

Light seeped around the edge of Catherine’s door, he knocked and when there was no response, pushed it open a couple of inches to see into the room. Catherine could only be described as meticulous. Everything had an exact place and order, there wasn't so much as a sock on the floor.

She was in bed. Her hair fanned out around her pillow and fell over her face. She was asleep, chest rising and falling with the telltale signs of someone deep in slumber, and he didn't doubt that she was, she’d been fighting off sleep and was likely exhausted.

She had fallen asleep reading. The book was still in one of her hands, about to fall off the side of the bed, and her glasses sat crooked on her nose. He had found Irene in a very similar state that he had lost count of how many times he’d woken her up so that she could sleep in a proper bed and not her armchair.

He took the book and slid a bookmark between what he hoped were the correct pages. Then he carefully took her glasses off her and folded them up, putting them within arms reach of her for when she woke up. Her glass was empty, so he quickly refilled that.

He checked the window bolt was still firmly in place, not that she’d have opened it, but one could never be too careful, and drew the curtains. She had fallen asleep on top of her duvet, and he didn't want to wake her up, so he collected blankets from the foot of the bed, and tucked her in underneath those, so that she didn't wake up due to being cold.

She needed her rest.

He turned and saw Irene watching him in the doorway. She was smiling, it was small and soft, but genuine, her teary eyes almost sparkling. He turned the lamp off, and shut the door behind him. “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I was just about to.” She said. “I saw the light was still on, is she okay?”

“She was asleep with her glasses on and a book in her hand when I came up.” He said. Then, as a second thought, he opened the door an inch, just so that they could hear anything if it was needed. “I think I am living with a miniature version of you.”


	5. Day five- part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow forgot to run the last chapter through that little thing known as spell checker, fixed that now.  
> Enjoy chapter five part one, warning, contains spikey dicks

It was the first day in nearly a week that Irene woke naturally. There was no nightmare, no alarm and no one knocking on her door. She was still nestled in Kai’s arms, though her was awake already, he was reading and didn't notice her change in consciousness until she had shifted.

“Hello sleeping beauty.” He said, before he even looked at her. “Sleep well?”

“What time is it?” Irene asked, voice thick with sleep, as she stretched.

“A little after eight.” He said. “You slept all night.”

“Damn.” She muttered, she had her head on his chest, and she could hear his heart beating, feel his chest rising and falling beneath her. It was moments like this that Irene knew that she was never get used to. The simplicity of it all. Just them, laying in bed as she listened to his heart.

It was nice.

It was a bizarre fragility that she hadn't truly realised that Kai had until she’d first lay her head on his chest. He wasn't human, far from it. Yet, he was still a mortal being. He would likely live centuries longer than any human would ever, maybe even a millennia.

But he was still fragile. He still had a heart that kept him going, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. He had weaknesses, she was sure that she was one of them. He could be hurt and killed, he could be weak and vulnerable.

And she had his heart.

She alone could savour the moments like this.

“Can you do something for me?” She asked, already blushing.

“I would do almost anything for you.”

“I am curious about the almost thing, but not right now.” She said. She splayed her fingers out on his chest. “Say that you love me?”

“I love you.” He didn't question it, he didn't hesitate. And his heart jumped, the beating coming a little faster, and she smiled. “What?”

“I make your heart skip a beat.” She said. “I can hear it.” He combed his fingers into her hair so that he could see her eyes.

“I will keep saying it if it makes you smile like that.” He said. “That is the biggest smile I have got out of you all week. I love you, Irene.” She ran her fingers over his chest and he twitched. “Are you ready to get up, or do you want to spend a bit more time like this?”

Irene was tempted to spend the rest of the day laying like this, listening to Kai’s heart, but she’d been neglecting all of her work and everything else for that matter. “I should get up. There are things that I need to do.”

“There isn't.” Kai said. “You are more than welcome to spend the day in bed if you need that, or if you want that.” He tightened his arms around her. The bullet wound was almost entirely healed.

“I need to do laundry.” She muttered. “And clean.” When they were busy, they had on occasion paid to have someone come and clean it, and whilst that was tempting, she wasn't quite ready to have strangers in her house yet.

“Dry cleaners.” Kai said. “And I can clean. Or Catherine, or we could pay someone to do it for us.” She tensed and he started to run his hand up and down her back. “You could always be at Vale’s? If you don’t want to be around new people. Or downstairs? The cellar hardly needs to be cleaned up.”

“Maybe.” She sighed. “I cant spent all week in bed though, I have things to be done. I can’t just leave it all for somebody else to pick up and deal with.” She pushed herself away from him and sat up. “The world doesn’t stop because I am in a bit of a crisis.”

“Let me take care of it.” He said, touching her hand. “Take the end of the week and then start again. I want to help you. Let me, even if it is just the small things like figuring out why you only have odd socks.”

“Life is too short for matching ones.” She sighed.

“Alright.” She said. “But just until Tuesday. Then we go back to…” Could she go back to normal? Knowing what she does now? Could there be a place to get back to, or would she have to find a new one?

Not to mention however long her injuries would take to heal, that would still be having an effect on her much longer than the end of seven days.

Could she really go back to ignoring all of her emotions again? Until they overwhelm her and break her down to little fragile pieces?

“I need to have a shower.” She said, shoving her thoughts to the back of her mind. One emotional melt down at a time. She could figure out what she wanted next later.

“Alright, I will start on breakfast.” He looked like he wanted to kiss her, but was holding back. Irene felt a twinge of guilt. He knew her far too well. Here he was, offering to do anything to help her, and she was lying to the both of them, and throwing it all back in his face.

She leant over the bed and gently kissed him, barely brushing her lips over his before she pulled away again, and started gathering what she needed. Kai didn't bother getting dressed, though he did throw on the often discarded nightshirt, for Catherine’s sake, not that they had heard her get up yet.

She was careful in the shower, washing around her wounds and resiting the urge to pick at them, her wrist was beginning to itch as wounds were want to do as they healed, and her chest ached from opening it up again.

She spent time getting the dried blood out from underneath her finger nails.

Her legs from hips down were almost entirely bruised, whilst some showed the signs of beginning to heal and yellow, her knees and shins had the worst of it and were dark purple and grey, incredibly tender to the touch as she dragged a soapy cloth over her skin.

The last time she’d showered she’d gone through most of a bar of soap, trying to scrub who she was out, and the same temptation returned. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling steam that smelt of the fragrant oils in her chosen soap.

Catherine’s sudden shouting distracted her.

She’d heard the girl get up and go downstairs as she was getting clean towels out. She sighed, she had thought that the recent ‘adventures’ had warmed Kai and Catherine to each other somewhat, but evidentially not.

She sighed, and shut off the shower.

“ _Leave me alone!”_

Catherine’s voice carried as she hurriedly dried off and fumbled with stockings that didn't like her still damp skin.

“ _No! You left me here. You don’t get to worry.”_

No, that wasn't Kai. She tied her hair into a loose tail and hurried downstairs. Silver was unmistakable in her doorway.

“Ah, my favourite little mouse. I was hoping to borrow Catherine, if you do not need her.” He arched a brow and then smirked as he raked an eye over her. “Did I interrupt your morning ablutions?”

“Why were you shouting?” She touched Catherine’s shoulder. Kai was lurking in the kitchen doorway, probably waiting to toss Silver out onto the street as soon as he had the excuse.

“I don’t want to go with him.” Catherine set her jaw stubbornly. “And it isn't like he can make me go anyway. I’m not under his care any more. Right?” She was looking at Irene with the exact same look of desperation that she had had in the hospital.

“No, you aren't.” She assured Catherine. “Silver, you cannot be coming over here uninvited. Besides, the embassy is closed for the next two days still. Minimum.” Potentially until Sterrington had recovered.

“You would stop me from seeing my niece?” Silver asked, his voice lowered and she could feel prickling of his power down the back of her neck and she suppressed a shiver and the urge to do everything that he could ask her.

He would reward her of course. And oh the rewards! She knew that he would treat her well and-

Catherine slapped him across the face.

Irene blinked, suddenly released from his ensnarement. And a little shocked that Catherine (who was on the small side) had slapped Silver clean across the face before he could react, her handprint already beginning to show up on his cheek.

Silver looked as shocked as she felt. He touched his cheek. “How dare you.” His voice was a hiss of anger and suddenly Kai was at Irene’s side, putting Catherine behind him.

“She isn't yours to use.” Irene said, remembering how Catherine had said that she’d never been allowed to do things that wouldn't help her uncle. “And how dare she? You come into my house-” Kai cleared his throat. “It isn't the time Kai. Our house and try to use your glamour on me? In what alternate do you think that is the appropriate behaviour to have?”

“If you want to visit Catherine, then you are going to have to arrange a time that _she_ is good with.” Kai sounded far too happy, probably because he’d finally had the chance to see Silver get slapped, and probably from the only person that he couldn’t get anything from.

“And right now, I don’t want to see you.” Catherine said. Irene could hear her voice shaking. “You could have warned us. You could have stayed and helped. Instead you ran away and hid. You don’t get to pretend to care now when you didn't last week.”

Irene hadn't thought that Catherine had been upset by Silver’s sudden trip across the world, but maybe Catherine was just a lot better at hiding her emotions that she had thought. She was probably used to Silver leaving her to run off at the drop of a hat.

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to burn breakfast.” Kai said, gesturing to the door. “Send a letter next time.”

“Don’t bother.” Catherine shot. “Unless it contains an apology.”

“Fine.” Silver’s voice was oddly strained, stripped of his usual cocky confidence and assurance that everything will go his way. “I will be in touch. And I am glad to see you safe and well, Catherine.” Then he was gone and Catherine sat down heavily on the bottom step, her shoulders twitching as she tried to hold back tears.

“It’s okay.” Kai said before Irene could say anything to her. He knelt down on the floor in front of her and took her hands. “Trust me when I say that I know far too much about manipulative uncles.” She tried to laugh but it cracked and she dropped her head as a tear wormed its way down her cheek.

“I don’t want to be a commodity.” She whispered.

“Whilst you are here, you aren't.” Irene said firmly. “I mean what I said. You are under my care. You are under my protection, as long as you stay here, then I will keep my word, and if you are sworn into the Library, you will have their protection too.”

“Too?”

“Of course.” Irene nodded. “I care about you and that won’t change once you are a Librarian.” She wanted to say that Catherine was her friend, but that didn't explain it correctly. She was more than just that. Irene was protective over her, she’d tried to be in loco parentis of Kai, but never had managed it, their relationship was different, but for Catherine, that term fitted perfectly.

“Thank you.” Catherine sniffed. “I-”

“It’s okay.” Kai smiled. “Go and get dressed and clean yourself up and I’ll have breakfast ready for you when you come down again.” She got up, and flung herself at him in a tight hug. Kai staggered, shocked, before he was hugging her back.

Catherine was barely up to Irene’s shoulder, burying her face in Kai’s chest as she trembled, and Kai held her tight, looking over his shoulder to Irene for guidance, who was about as shocked as he was, and just shrugged.

“You are under _our_ protection.” Kai put emphasis on the word, he didn't have the Language to swear in, but Irene knew that when he spoke in such tones, it was as solemn as if had sworn it on his family’s name. “You may be Irene’s student, but as long as you live with us, you have my protection as well as hers.”

“Thank you.” She said, muffled against Kai’s chest. “I mean it.”

“I know you do.” Kai said, he slowly released her, and Catherine stepped back. “Go on, take your time, I’ll save some food for you.”

Irene followed him into the kitchen, which was just a little smokey, but burnt bacon was still bacon. She slipped her arms around Kai’s middle and stood on tiptoes to kiss his jaw.

“What’s that for?” He asked, though he was hardly about to start complaining.

“I just watched you hug a Fae.” She said. “I don’t think you would have done that when we met. I am proud of you.” He made a humming noise when Irene kissed his jaw again. They’d been so busy, and then things had gone to hell in a hand basket and then some, and it had been a couple of weeks since they had been intimate.

And Kai was so very easy to tease.

And it wasn't like she didn't have desires of her own as well. Sadly, Catherine would be joining them soon, and that wouldn't be fair on her if they ditched her. She pulled away from him and started to make a pot of coffee.

It was obvious that Catherine had been crying a bit more when she came back down, her eyes were rimmed with red, though she’d cleaned her face and there were no visible tear tracks. She tried to smile but she couldn’t actually manage it.

Kai reached over, and ruffled her hair. Catherine lost the forced smile, jaw dropped in baffled shock. Kai grinned. “See, that’s better.”

“I just brushed my hair!”

“And I just messed it up again. Now, be quiet and eat your breakfast.” He said. “Same to you, ‘Rene.” Irene and Catherine pushed the paper back and forth as they completed the crossword.

Irene was distracted though, she was watching Kai out of the corner of her eyes. There was something that seemed off that she just couldn’t quite put her finger on. He was too…

Kai was kind, she knew that and she never doubted his kindness. She just knew that he was never this open. He was subtle with it, buying her flowers to go on her desk and silently leaving them for her to find. Cups of tea and kisses on the forehead without a word.

Maybe it was for Catherine’s sake, because she didn't know him as well as she did, and would overlook the little things.

Maybe it was something else.

She watched him more closely, though she did look away when Kai looked at her, he managed to catch her looking a few times, and winked at her the third time he did. She flushed and forced herself to look at the crossword next to her cup of coffee.

Catherine volunteered to clean up in the kitchen, a fairly regular chore for her as she almost never helped doing the cooking, and Kai shot Irene a knowing look before taking her hand and pulling her upstairs.

His mouth was hot and a little desperate as he pinned her to the door as soon as he’d shut it behind her. Irene gasped in shock, she knew the look in his eyes, but she hadn't expected to be kissed in such a rough way, not that she was about to start complaining about it.

“Kai.” She groaned his name as his lips started to kiss a trail down her throat. His lips found her carotid artery, feeling her blood rushing beneath his touch. Feeling her very life force beneath his kiss.

He gasped, it was shaky, breath catching in his throat, images of her laying on the floor in Paris, not breathing, no pulse, flashed through his mind. Of her bleeding out in Ya Yu’s court.

The sound of her screaming echoed through the room.

Suddenly he was clutching her to his chest, holding her tight and close.

“Kai?” Irene could feel his shoulders shaking. “What’s wrong?” His tears were damp through her bodice. She combed fingers into his hair and held it out of his eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong? I’ve got you.”

He gasped for air. Irene helped him over to the bed, and pulled her to him, so that he was half laying across her as she leant against the headboard. He rested with his head on her chest, like she’d been that morning, and combed her fingers through his hair.

Irene was at a loss for words. She had only ever seen Kai like this once after Venice. Maybe that was it? Back then, he had held everything in until something had snapped, and he’d come to her hotel room late one night and broken down, telling her about his nightmares.

“Kai, how long have you been feeling like this?” She asked in a very soft voice, hoping that it wasn’t coming across as incredibly patronising. He coughed, trying to clear his throat. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you could have.” He said, his voice all ragged and husky. “You nearly died. Again. I could have lost you.”

“But you didn't.” She said. “You can’t worry about what could have happened when it didn't happen. I am still here. With you.”

“I have nearly lost you so many times.” He said, it took some effort for him to keep his voice level. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you Irene. You mean… Heavens Irene, I would hold back the ocean if that was what you asked of me.”

Irene wondered if that was quite the promise in his culture, or if it was just his poetic inner monologue. She didn't ask.

“Kai, if you worry about all of the what ifs, you will not have the chance to enjoy what time we have together.” She said. “Have you been pretending to be fine in order to look after me?” He swallowed and she took that as his yes, he just didn't want to make her feel guilty.

“My Prince.” She whispered, running her fingers along his scalp. “You have to tell me these things. I want to know.” He was shaking again, trying to not cry again. “This… it’s not because I haven't said _it_ back?”

She felt some guilt for being unable to find those three little words. They felt so small until they were on the tip of her tongue and she choked. She had had lovers before, long term partners, yet none of them felt like it did with Kai. None of them felt as good as it did with him and when she thought back to using those words, they felt like lies.

She did love Kai.

She just couldn’t bring herself to say the words for some reason.

“No.” He said, he looked up at her. He was losing his edge slightly, temples blue with scales, eyes red and not because of the tears. “No. You don’t need to say it until you are ready to. I know how you feel without saying it.”

She kissed him, and to her surprise, he groaned against her lips, despite the light touch, and she pulled away. “Sorry. It’s-” He took a deep breath. “My form.”

“Oh!” She looked at his scales, spreading more and more. “Do you need to go outside and change?” He shook his head. “Are you sure? You don’t have a lot of space in here.”

“No, it’s fine.” He said. “May I show you something?” Irene looked more than a touch apprehensive but she nodded. There was a flash, not unlike when he did shift into his natural form, but when she’d finished blinking the bright spots away, Kai was still sat on the bed with her.

He was covered in scales now, darker down the lines of his throat and she almost reached out to touch them, before restraining her eagerness. His eyes glowed a fiery red, but she wasn't scared of Kai. She knew that he would never hurt her.

She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to touch the small horns on his forehead though. Kai’s eyes fluttered half shut as he repressed a moan, and she pulled her hands back. “That feels good.”

“Really?” She asked, doing it again. “Where does it feel best?” She moved her fingers around the base, and he purred. “There?” He pulled her close and kissed her. Irene entwined her fingers in her hair, rubbing them against the base of his horns.

She moves to straddle him, kissing him deeply as she kept massaging his horns, making him purr against her lips. He ran his tongue along her lower lip and Irene almost jumped in shock. “Oh! I was not expecting the forked tongue to be honest.”

Kai poked his tongue out at her for a second. “What were you expecting?” He asked curiously.

“I don’t know. The red eyes and scales yes but…” She could feel him already half hard beneath her. “How much has the rest of you changed?” He smirked until she rolled her hips slightly and he parted his lips to gasp her name. She felt his claws pressing through her dress as he gripped her waist.

“Somewhat.” He said. “I suppose that’s for you to find out though.” She started working his tie undone and discarded it quickly before attacking his shirt buttons. The scales went all the way down his chest, because why wouldn't they? She trailed her fingers down them to toy with the button of his trousers. “Aren't you eager?”

He all but attacked her throat with open mouthed kisses as he quickly undid her dress, briefly pulling away to pull it and her chemise off and drop them on the floor where they would inevitably be tripped over later on, leaving her in just her underwear.

“You’re beautiful.” He smiled up at her. Her hair was a tousled mess and she was flushed a deep red not too far from his own purple hued flush. “All of you.” He dragged clawed fingers up her spine, making her arch forward and he took the opportunity to press his lips to the flesh just above her bra.

His teeth are far sharper in this form and it takes a great deal of Kai’s self control to not bite at her skin, knowing that it would feel far more painful than pleasurable and that wasn't what he wanted. He lightly nipped at her instead, making Irene stifle a gasp.

Irene undid her bra and dropped it out of sight, doubting that Kai would have been able to do that with his claws. Kai very carefully lifted her off his lap and lay her back down on the bed. He kicked his trousers away, leaving just underwear between them as he pinned her to the bed.

His lips left a burning trail of flush down her throat toward her chest. He ran his tongue along her collar bone, loving the little sounds that Irene was making, barely more than whimpers. For some reason, he actually preferred it when she was trying to be quiet, the soft mewls were like music to his ears, not that he was ever going to complain when she cried out in pleasure.

He hummed pleasure against her breast as her fingers returned to the base of his horns, making Irene arch a little. He smiled up at her, pulling away for a moment before he circled her nipple with his long tongue. Irene’s eyes fluttered shut as she swallowed a groan.

“Do you like that?” He asked her, he sounded almost nervous, though he hid it well.

“Yes.” She sighed. “It feels good, Kai.”

“May I?” He toyed with the waistband of her underwear.

“Only if you take yours off too.” It was her turn to smirk, and to satisfy her curiosity somewhat. Kai paused. “Kai? Have you never had anyone else see you like this?”

“Well, people have seen me like this plenty of times. Just never in this context, and never a human.”

“Oh.” Irene was strangely flattered. “I’m the first?”

“Maybe this isn't a good idea.” He looked at his claws. “I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

“I trust you Kai.” She touched his wrist. “If you want us to stop, than we will. If you want to shift back to looking fully human, than that is okay too.” She smiled. “As long as you are with me, I don’t care what you look like. As long as you are with me.” He touched her cheek, gliding the back of a claw down to her jaw. Irene shivered. “And we can get creative because, no offence Kai, I can think of a few things that I do not want those to go anywhere near.”

Kai nearly laughed. “I suppose that would hurt a bit.” He flexed his clawed fingers. “They aren’t retractable, before you ask.”

“Where’s an adult toy store when you need one?” Irene sighed, before laughing. Kai blinked, wide eyed.

“That’s the first proper laugh out of you in… I don't know. At least a week.” He smiled. “It’s good to hear it again. I missed hearing it.”

She hadn't smiled much either and it was so often forced or fake, her putting on a happy face for everyone else’s sake, for his sake.

“You always make me laugh.” She said. “And smile.” Kai hated it when she could guess what he was thinking, it made him think that maybe she was secretly a mind reader. Though he did usually appreciate how well she knew him.

“I much prefer it when I make you blush in all honesty.” He raked his eyes over her, eyes skipping the wounds and focusing on the little things.

The small scar on her ribcage, a burn mark from leaning too close to a Bunsen burner in a chemistry class long forgotten. The way she twisted the sheets in one hand. Her hair fanning out on the pillow.

And she was blushing, it was beginning to fade as they had talked, but as soon as he said that, her cheeks were burning again. “Just like that.” He said, dropping his voice to a low growl as he leant down and kissed her.

“I like your blush.” She said when he eased back. “Purple looks very good on you. Now, I think that we had a deal?”

“And you say I am only interested in sex.” He rolled his eyes with a light hearted smirk on his lips. He got off the bed so that she could pull her underwear off, she kicked her stockings away too, and he slowly pushed his underwear down, suppressing a sigh that he was no longer being confined.

Irene looked him up and down in a similar way that he had just done to her, and swallowed. He was bigger than he was in human form, by at least an inch, maybe more. His cock was ridged down its entire length and she wondered what that would feel like inside of her. It tapered into a blunted point.

“Never been with a human like this? No wonder you have blue balls.” He stared at her.

“I am going to get dressed.”

“Kai, no!” Aware that she sounded more than a touch desperate. “Please, come back to bed.” She couldn’t do what he could do and purr the words, that was not a skill that she could just turn off and on when she wanted it, but she hoped that the sheer want in her voice was enough.

And it was.

He knocked her back onto the pillows as he pinned her, kissing her hard. Irene reached down between their bodies and wrapped her hand around his erection, he throbbed under her touch, groaning into the kiss as she swept her thumb around the head. He nipped at her lip, before reaching to take her hand, and he guided it to the base of his horns.

Irene gripped his horns as he shimmied down the bed to settle between her thighs. She jumped as she felt his tongue, longer and thin on her inner thigh. She ran her thumbs around the base of his horns, loving the way that it felt as he hummed his pleasure against her inner thigh.

He was slow and gentle to begin with, dragging his tongue through the slickness that he found at the apex of her legs before moving up slightly to tease her clit between his lips, making Irene bite back a squeak. She tightened her grip on his horns.

“This isn't going to work.” Kai said, pulling away and sitting back on his heals. Irene groaned in annoyance. “I’ll just hurt you if we go any further, and I won’t do that to you.”

“That felt really good.” She complained.

“Really?” Kai frowned.

“Yes. Kai, we can work out what we do when we get to it.” She smiled. “Really, Kai. It felt good.” He leant down and kissed her hip.

“If you are sure…”

“I am.” There was no wavering in her voice. She knew what she wanted. “Kiss me?” She could taste herself on his lips and tongue as he did so, but she didn't care.

“Now what?” He asked, voice low and husky. Irene trailed her finger down the side of her throat. “Here?” He asked, kissing just below her jaw.

“Yes.” She murmured. He kept working his lips down her throat as she slipped her hand between her thighs, sinking her middle finger into her opening. Kai pulled back, and looked down.

“Oh.” He blushed. How he was blushing when his tongue had been where her finger was not even two minutes ago, she wasn't sure, but she liked it. “I hadn’t thought of that.” She smirked.

“Just shut up and kiss me again.” She said, and he did so. He brought his hands up to cup her breasts as his lips lingered on her throat, particularly the point where he could feel her pulse most strongly, he left a mark there, before running his tongue over it in a possessive display that Irene couldn’t help but love, and then he did it again on the other side of her throat.

She had two fingers inside of her, the palm of her hand rubbing against her clit. She bit her lip, arching into his hands. Between his ministrations and no one knowing her body quite like she did, she was teetering on the cliff of her climax, not quite ready to fall off the other side just yet, wanting to draw it out.

“Are you close?” He asked, circling her nipple with the pad of his thumb, being very careful to only lightly drag his claws over her skin, leaving pale lines that faded almost immediately.

“Yes.” She gasped. “Kai.”

“Let go.” He said, before he caught her lips in a seering kiss. She cried out against his lips as she came, tightening around her fingers in waves. Her gasps for breath caught in her throat, making it sound like she was crying. Her eyes were burning as she clutched him closer, pressing her face to the crook of his neck until she had managed to catch her breath.

“Did that feel good?” He asked. “You sounded like you really needed that.”

“I did.” She gasped as she dropped her head onto her pillow. “It felt good. You felt good.”

“A pleasure as always.” He smiled a rather cheeky grin. “Mainly yours. But you are always a wonder to watch, and I find that rather… pleasurable.” His cock was achingly hard and he longed to kiss her and bury it deep with her, making her cry out. But that wasn't what they were doing. Fast and rough were for days where they weren’t half terrified that they would wake up without the other there. “What do you want to do now?”

“Don’t let this go to your head, but check that the top drawer still has lube in it.” He didn't laugh, merely leant over and opened the aforementioned draw, and pull the half full bottle out, shaking it for good measure. “Oh, good.”

“And what do you think I should do with this?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” She asked, holding her hand out for the bottle.

“Oh no, it doesn’t work like that.” He said, opening the bottle. “You got your fun, now you get to keep your hands to yourself.”

“But I don’t have claws!” She exclaimed, it was more of a petulant whine, she was needy and he knew it. He was just being a tease. He sat back on his heels and squirted some of the lube out onto his fingers before wrapping his hand around his cock, stifling a groan.

Irene scrambled to her knees to be perched in front of him. One hand went to his cheeks, the other to his horns, and she kissed him. Kai groaned as her hand joined his, following the same rhythm of his languid strokes.

“How does that feel?” She asked before finding the hollow under his ear and kissing him there. “Is it good, Kai?”

“Yes.” He growled, voice taking on draconic tones that made her shiver as she felt them thrum through her body. “So good. Do you think you’re ready?”

“Like this?” She asked as he moved his hand and quickly wiped his fingers off on his thigh.

“I want you to be in control.” Kai said and she nodded. She straddled his thighs as he gripped her hips. “Let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”

It was far from uncomfortable.

Irene slowly sunk down onto his cock, Kai fought the urge to buck his hips and fill her. She tilted her head back as she gasped, Kai ducked his head to suck a nipple between his lips and run with tongue around it until it was stiff, and then moving to the other side.

“Oh.” She whispered as she very slowly rolled her hips, pulling back slightly before sinking down again. “Kai.”

“Does it feel good?” He asked.

“Yes.” She gasped. “We should have done this months ago.” Her movements were very slowly and careful, Kai remained still, allowing her to set the pace. He returned his lips to her breasts, running his hand up her back to graze the skin of her brand, making her arch against his lips as she tried to move away from the touch that almost tickled.

She was tight and wet around him but Kai was determined to push her toward a second orgasm before he reached his, her hands on his horns was not helping and he purred against her skin. He started to move his hips, thrusting up into her, matching her rhythm.

“You are so perfect.” He growled against her skin. “Heavens and earth, Irene. You are perfection.” She pulled him to her and kissed him. Blindly, he removed one of her hands from his horn and guided it toward her clit, since that was something he normally did, she got the point.

She tried to gasp his name, but she was almost entirely breathless, she could feel the familiar tightness of a growing climax in her stomach, already sensitive, it wasn't long before she was crying out. She’d wanted to drag it out for longer, it felt like barely minutes before she was clenching around him, gasping against his neck.

Kai grunted and returned his hands to grasp her hips, holding her still as she trembled and shook. She was so tight and wet around him that he couldn’t hold it back, and he thrust as deep into her as he dared and followed her in climax, a groan of her name falling from his lips.

Kai carefully helped Irene off him and she collapsed onto the bed with a thud and sigh, eyes fluttering shut, her chest still heaving. He carefully ran his hand down her arm, and when she opened her eyes again, he was fully human and tugging the covers up over her, before joining her.

“Kai?”

“Yes?”

“You are absolutely perfect and anyone who disagrees with that has no idea what they are talking about.” He kissed her on the forehead and dragged her onto his chest. They were both slick with sweat but that was a problem for later.

“You’re pretty perfect too.”

It was sometime later that they left each others embrace, Kai reluctantly releasing her and beginning to look for discarded clothes. Irene clutched the covers to her chest, and made no move to copy him as she settled back against the covers.

“Are you not getting up?” He asked. Irene yawned and stretched. “Or did I wear you out a bit too much for that?”

“You wish.” She replied, reaching for her book. “Do I have to get out of bed?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” She complained, and still didn't move.

“Irene.” He had put on underwear and trousers but no shirt yet. “Get out of the bed before I drag you out of it. Or admit that I wore you down and now you need a nap.”

“You were the one that said I should take it easy.” She shrugged. “This is my idea of taking it easy.” It was comfortable leaning against all of her pillows and filled with a warmth that she usually related to good sex.

“Had I known that this was how to get you to properly relax, I would have suggested it before.” Kai sighed, shaking his head, and selecting a shirt. “I thought that you have things to do today? Or is napping going to take up much of your time instead?”

“That does sound like it would be good.” Irene said, wriggling a little to get more comfortable, and drawing the sheets up to her chin. “I could stay like this for a good while.” Kai leant down and kissed her forehead. “You are welcome to join me.” She patted the bed next to her. Kai had his own book half read on his bedside table, not that he had touched it in about a week.

“Maybe later.” He sighed, knowing that Irene had been right earlier, there were things that had to be done, though she didn't necessarily have to be the one to do them. “I’m going to see what we need from the shops, we are running low on food stuffs. Do you want anything?”

Irene hadn't been without Kai since he’d come crashing through that cathedral window and the sudden thought of him going out alone filled her with a cold shot of dread straight to the core. He could see her tense and he sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand.

“I will be fine.” He kissed her knuckles. “I will be gone an hour at the very most.” He reached across her and pulled his emergency blade out from underneath his pillow, and tucked it into his belt. “See? Fine.”

“Alright.” She tried to smile. “I will be here when you get back.”

“You should, at the very least, put your night clothes on again.” He said. “Not that I don’t appreciate the idea of coming home to you,” He ducked his head to brush his lips along the side of the neck, lingering where he’s bitten her. “Naked and waiting for me, but Catherine may come to see you at some point if she gets bored.” Irene swallowed and was somewhat irritated by how easily he could make her desperate for him.

She wasn't about to complain about that though.

She got up and snagged his discarded nightshirt and some underwear, and decided that that was enough. He watched her movements, and laughed a little as she buttoned the shirt up. “Am I decent?”

“Hardly.” He sighed, shaking his head. “How is that even better to come home to? It makes no sense.”

“Because you get to undress me again.” Irene replied like it was a very well known fact that had somehow slipped his notice.

“It looks good on you, far better than me. Get rid of your nightdresses and you can steal whatever shirts you want from me.”

“You will regret telling me that.”

“I doubt it.”


	6. Day five- part two

Irene had finished her book and was two chapters into a new one when Kai finally joined her upstairs. He’d returned over an hour ago, but had been having a bit of a tidy up. He wasn't as meticulous as Catherine was, but he was so much tidier than Irene and had cleaned up in the kitchen, and sorted out the recent post that neither of them had been up to sorting it out.

He brought up a small pot of tea, milk jug, sugar and a muffin. Irene looked up as he set the tray down. “For me?”

“You said that you wanted a day in bed, the very least that I can do is make sure that you are well supplied with cups of tea and things to eat.” He shrugged. “Lemon is still your favourite, right?” His open and earnest way of seeing her had been one of his most attractive features to her. It was refreshing compared to everyone else she had met.

He had never tried to use her. She was never going to be a commodity to him.

“Thank you.”

“Anything.” He smiled and kissed her forehead. Irene could feel pink burning her cheeks. “It’s good to see you taking time for yourself for a change.”

“I can take some time for you if you like.” She put the ribbon marker between her pages and put the book to one side. “If you want to join me that is.”

“Maybe later. I’ve started tidying now and I want to at least get the study looking like we work in there before stopping.” He had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, neatly folding the cuffs. He’d removed his tie and undone the top two buttons of his shirt to be a bit more comfortable and was succeeding in looking enticingly raffish, not that she was about to stroke his ego by pointing out how much she was liking the look.

She carefully brushed a loose lock of hair back behind his ear. He caught her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. “How are you feeling now?” She asked.

“Better than this morning.” He said, though that was a deliberately vague answer.

“Kai. You cant put off your own feelings, they will still be there later on.”

“I know. But I do feel better.” He said. “I think that… we both needed that intimacy that we haven't had for a while.” That was one way of putting it. “I needed to remember that you are alive and here with me. I am not going to be losing you anytime soon.”

“I am not going anywhere.” She said. “Because that would mean I have to leave this bed.” He snorted. “And I am very comfortable where I am for the moment.”

“Was there any point in you getting up and dressed today?”

“I got to watch Catherine slap Silver.” She said, then a twinge of guilt in the back of her head jabbed her. “Is she okay? She was really upset earlier?”

“She’s been in the lounge reading since I left.” Kai said. “So, the same as usual I think? She’s almost as private as you are, just worse at hiding her emotions. I got her some hot chocolate and marshmallows from the shops though, for when we are drinking brandy.”

“Kai.”

“Or she doesn’t like tea, we drink a lot of tea too.” He said, he still had her hand pressed against his cheek, and he kissed it again, tickling along of her scars. “Apple juice?”

“Don’t be condescending.”

“Lemonade.”

“Kai.” She sighed, though she did want to laugh. “She can’t help being seventeen. And I do have to admit, she is a lot more mature than I was at that age, and probably be more mature than you were too.”

“Dragons age differently.” Kai said. “At seventeen I’d have been the human equivalent of… you know, I don’t actually know? Younger though. And definitely not as mature as she is.”

He gave her one final kiss and left her to her tea and muffin and book. He left the door half-open, and did take the time to open the curtains and the window a half-inch, to let some fresh-ish air in. He gathered up her discarded clothes and sorted those out, before dragging the laundry basket out too.

Irene saw Catherine pass by, the young woman lingered like she was about to say something, but was gone by the time that Irene thought to call out and invite her in. There was clearly something on her mind, but she wasn't quite ready to bring it up just yet, so she returned to her books and her tea, pouring a second cup.

The clock on the wall ticked by the hours until Irene finally forced herself to actually look at it, and see that it was a little past noon and she should, at the very least, take the tea things downstairs, though she wasn't hungry for lunch, so she returned to her reading instead.

Until Catherine interrupted to ask what she wanted for lunch.

She did consider getting dressed again, but since the plan was to just go back to bed once she’d eaten, she put on her dressing robe over the top of Kai’s shirt, which was rather big on her and hung to mid-thigh, and put on slippers since the tiled kitchen floor was always cold.

It smelt of various cleaning products as she came downstairs and she stopped in the lounge to see Kai stood on one of the chairs to dust the bookcases.

“You don’t need to do all of this.” Irene said. “We can sort out someone to do it, I was considering hiring a cleaner anyway, saves us from doing it.”

“I don’t mind.” He finished wiping the shelf and jumped down in a single fluid motion that was impressive somewhat. “It needed to be done like you said, ‘Rene. I actually kind of like cleaning.”

“I won't stop you. But you are spending the afternoon with me. It is non-negotiable.” She said, putting her hand on his chest. “In bed, reading and drinking tea, with me.”

“I am hardly going to disagree with an offer such as that.” He said. “Though you will have to release me in order for us to eat dinner.”

“I suppose that is a fair deal.” Irene said. “I get held and fed. What more could a woma…”

“What?”

“I am currently acting like a cat.” She complained. Kai blinked, and then laughed. “Stop it, it isn't funny. I cannot spend all my day in bed and only get up to eat.”

“Yes, you can.” Kai said. “Look after yourself. In fact, your mother made me promise to take care of you, just yesterday. And I do not break my promises.” She crossed her arms. “Don’t pout at me like that, it just makes me want to kiss you. You don’t have to pretend to be strong all of the time. I want to look after you.”

“Only until Tuesday.” She said, trying to sound firm. “And then we try to get things back up and running.”

“It may be a challenge if Sterrington takes a while to heal, but we managed before she was here, I am sure that we will be fine.” He said. “Let’s get lunch.”

An afternoon curled up in bed was almost exactly what they needed. Kai sat against the pillows with Irene sat with her back to his chest, quite comfortably warm with the duvet over her legs and Kai (who was practically a radiator at times) behind her.

Catherine knocked on the door and then pushed it open an inch. “Can- Can I join you?” She asked, looking more at the floor than either of them.

“Is everything alright?” Kai asked.

“Yes, I just, well. I don’t really like being alone at the moment. And it is too quiet downstairs.” She said, fidgeting her fingers a little bit before she looked up at them. “I don’t want to be alone down there if my uncle decides to come back and try to talk to me again.”

“Go and fetch a book and a drink and you can come and join us.” Irene said. “There is plenty of space for you.” She was quick to grab her book and a cup of coffee before climbing up onto Kai’s side of the bed and tucking her feet up underneath her skirt.

It was pretty quiet for a good long while, except for soft breathing and the turning of pages. Irene sneezed at one point, breaking the silence and startling Kai and Catherine so much that Kai accidentally smacked Irene in the back of the head with his book, making her drop her book.

It was an unspoken agreement that they returned to the bed once they had eaten dinner and it had all been cleaned away, dressing in their pyjamas and Catherine trailing a blanket from her bed with her.

Kai silently held an arm out to Catherine. She stared at him for a moment with what was clearly faked disgust. Irene was beginning to think that Fae and Dragons would get along like a house on fire if they weren't so stubborn and maybe a little bit petty. After all, Kai and Silver both had a preference for very expensive fashion and wine, and Kai and Catherine both loved reading and were willing to do almost anything to get into the Library.

They just didn't want to admit what they shared and would rather focus on the differences, and whilst Chaos and Order were very far from one another, it wasn't everything to every Dragon and Fae ever. There was a middle ground.

“I am much warmer than your blanket is.” Kai said. “Trust me, I mean nothing untoward, this isn't a trick, you are cold, I am warm. It makes sense.” Catherine inched a little closer. “I don’t bite.”

“Excuse me? I can quite clearly see what you did to Irene’s neck, unless she has a penchant for sneaking out and offering Vampires snacks?” Irene rubbed the side of her throat which was definitely sporting a small bruise. “What? You two aren't the most subtle. I turn around and you have vanished and your bedroom door is shut? At least you are quiet.”

“Is that why your bedroom is nowhere near Silver’s?” Catherine shuddered.

“Fine. I don’t bite without good reason.” Kai said. “Now, do you want to stay cold?” Catherine sighed and shifted over to sit next to him, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Catherine suppressed a little sigh as she realised how warm he was, it was like sitting close to a gently smouldering fireplace.

Irene tilted her head up to look at Kai. “Comfortable?” She asked.

“Surprisingly, yes.” He said, he had put his book down and he put his free hand on her shoulder before kissing her forehead. “You?” She hummed her yes, before looking at the book in hand. “Catherine?”

“Warmer now.” She said, before adjusting her glasses. “Thank you.” She was pointedly not looking at him.

“Anytime kiddo.” He ruffled her hair like he had done before and she glared daggers at him.

“Don’t ever call me that again.” She hissed. “I am not a child.”

“Catherine, the more you get riled up, the more he will do it.” Irene sighed.

“Seventeen is an adult in a lot of cultures.” Catherine said. “So really, treating me like a child is incredibly rude and condescending.”

“And entertaining.” Kai replied with a smirk and spark in his eyes. “I know that you aren't a child, Catherine. But compared to myself or Irene, you are very young, and with that is going to come some light hearted ribbing I am afraid.”

“I noticed that you didn't take offence to him messing up your hair again.” Irene said, twisting a little to look at her. Catherine’s hair had been loosely tied up and Kai messing it up hadn't really done much.

“I can tidy up my hair again, I can’t get him to respect me.” Catherine muttered.

“Catherine, I do respect you.” Kai said in a very soft, gentle voice that Irene recognised for when she’d had a nightmare and he was trying to soothe her. “I have the utmost respect for you, for your desire and hard work to become a Librarian, your dedication and your willingness to throw yourself into danger to help other people. But you are little.”

“I am not that short!”

“You are short and young.” Kai said. “That is okay, that doesn’t mean that I do not respect you, but it is going to mean that I will treat you differently to the way that I treat Irene or Vale.”

“It doesn’t feel like respect.”

“Well, it is.” Kai said. “I am just different from you in the same way that you are different from me.”

“Don’t mind him, Catherine. He’s a secret softy at heart, he just won’t admit it.” Irene said, smiling up at Kai. “It’s just because he cares about you that he teases, he would be very rude if he didn't like you.”

Kai squeezed her shoulder.

“I would appreciate it if the teasing did not include calling me ‘kiddo’ or any other pet name such as that, before you get any ideas.” Catherine huffed. “And don’t call me little. You don’t need to tell me that I’m short. I am well aware of that.”

“Can I still ruffle your hair?” Kai asked.

“Provided that I haven't just done my hair, I won't smack you for it.”

“Deal.” Kai said. “See? Respect.”

“I just had to bargain for no short jokes!” She wriggled out of his loose embrace. “Who would you like it if I made jokes about the fact that…” Catherine wracked her brain. “Your brother thinks you’re stupid?”

Kai twitched a shoulder. “He isn't the first, he won’t be the last, and I don’t much care now anyway.” Catherine wasn't exactly telling him something that he didn't know, or that he really cared about. “If you want to hurt my feelings, I think that you will have to try a lot harder than that.”

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” Catherine said, crossing her arms across her chest. “I just want… you to know what it feels like to have someone poking fun at you.”

“Catherine, I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings at any point.” Kai said, putting his a hand to his heart. “That was never my intention and I apologise.” He offered her a gentle smile and his hand. “I am sorry.”

Catherine was silent for a moment. “Apology accepted.” She said. Kai opened his arm up to her, and she moved close again.

Irene got up and brought all of them mugs of hot chocolate, overloaded with marshmallows. They were no longer sat in a pile and were reading but instead, Catherine was draped in blankets, Irene had her legs underneath the duvet on her side of the bed, and Kai was reclined on his side at the end of the bed.

“I mean, from an analytical point of view, I completely understand the love for Shakespeare,” Catherine said, before taking a large sip of her drink now that it was cool enough to not burn her and the marshmallows were gooey. “And a lot of his writing was groundbreaking, popularising their styles, but there are other playwrights, he's a bit… overdone?”

“Thank you.” Kai said. “Honestly, the popularisation of Shakespeare across the worlds is often due to the result of western colonisation and completely disregards the writings of people from the east.”

“I am not saying that he is better than all other playwrights or poets.” Irene said, this was a conversation that she and Kai had had countless times and Kai had managed to get Catherine onto his side. “What I am saying is that his plays being written for the masses and often in a way that was understood by the lower class was entirely the reason why it became so popular. It is timeless.”

“As are the Four Great Classics!” Kai said. “Surely you have read all of them.”

“I have.” Irene said. “But that is four novels by four authors written in three different centuries. Shakespeare wrote thirty-seven!”

“It’s quality, not quantity.” Catherine pointed out. “Though I will admit to having read every Shakespearean play and cannot name the Four Great Classics.”

“You are young.” Kai said with a wave of his hand. “And that furthers my point. Great works of literature, yet never taught outside of China.”

Irene pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yes, they should be taught more often.” She used a spoon to try to scoop some marshmallow out of the bottom of her cup. “Kai, do you think that it is reasonable for someone to have a preference for the literature that they were raised with?”

“Well, obviously.”

“And I was educated on western literature. Yes, when I was in the Library I studied a lot of different literature, but from my world view, Shakespeare has done much more for literature than… let us say Shi Nai'an, and you would say the reverse.” She raised her mug to him. “And that is okay. It doesn’t mean that I don’t also enjoy those novels. I just have a preference, as do you.”

Kai wrinkled his nose. “China has a greater population.”

“Well done, you can recite facts.” Irene said, pulling her cup back. “Yes, China has a great population. Yes, the colonisation of the majority of the world by western countries is an atrocity that has caused so much damage. That doesn’t make Shakespeare one of the greatest playwrights and poets to exist.”

“What about eastern philosophy?” Catherine asked. “The same thing happened there. Science too.” Irene sighed.

“We are not discussing the morality of colonisation here.” She said. “We are discussing the spread of literature and you cannot deny that western literature has spread much further, has had a much larger and longer-lasting effect.”

“Through horrific means.”

“Through horrific means, I am not denying that.” Irene said. “Through horrific means, Shakespeare will always be one of the most influential playwrights and poets in the world.”

“But he shouldn’t be.”

“That isn't the discussion!” The conversation always seemed to reach the same point before circling back around, Irene was fairly certain that Kai would start the discussion just to annoy her a bit. His way of teasing her.

It was just after eleven that Catherine said her goodnights and headed off to bed, and Kai and Irene started to neaten up their bedroom and take the cups and things down to the kitchen.

“You know, I think today has been a pretty good day.” Kai said as Irene wiped the mugs dry. “Bit of a rough start to the morning, but it was still good.” Irene nodded.

“Are you feeling better after this morning?” She asked, she tucked the tea towel into one of the drawers handles to dry and turned to him. “Now that you’ve got it all out?”

He reached out and stroked a finger down her cheek, Irene suppressed a shiver. “I do.” He replied. “Much. I think I just needed to have that opportunity to get it all off my chest. What is it with both of us bottling up our emotions?”

“Commentary on the way that we were raised?”

“Probably.” He shrugged. “And had I know how to get you to relax, I’d have tried that days ago.” She laughed before tilting her head back a little to kiss him. “Catherine slapping Silver is going to be a memory that I treasure forever.”

“I think she will as well.”

  
  



	7. day six

To Kai, his superior senses were both a blessing and a curse. He could hear people following them much easier that Irene, he had fast reaction times, he could taste and smell things that others couldn’t. But that also meant that he was a light sleeper and kept awake by all sorts of subtle sounds that Irene could happily sleep through. Luckily Irene didn't really snore, though she did, on occasion, talk in her sleep.

It wasn't Irene’s fitful murmurings that woke him early Sunday morning, she slept peacefully, or as peacefully as one could after what they had gone through. It wasn't fitful, and for that, he was grateful.

He very carefully shifted away from her and got out of the bed, waiting to make sure that she didn't stir as he moved away. When she didn't, he pulled on his dressing robe and went to investigate.

The house was completely dark and the doors were still locked tight, he was about to return to bed and put it down to his paranoia and own nightmares when he heard a soft whimpering. It wasn't Irene, she was still sleeping.

Catherine was curled up on her side, her eyes screw shut, forehead creased with frowns, lips parted as she gasped and muttered in her sleep. Her hair was rat-tailed, indicating quite a bit of tossing and turning.

“Catherine?” He turned the light on. She twitched though did not wake. She turned over as he crossed the threshold. She’d thrown her covers off and he could see her nightclothes clinging to her body. He hurried to her side and grasped her shoulder, shaking her slightly. “Catherine!”

She flailed in her sleep, trying to get him to release her, trying to get away and he wondered what she was dreaming of, if she thought that his touch was apart of that sleeping terror that she was suffering.

He shook her roughly until he saw a flicker of her eyelids. “Come on, Catherine.” He said. “Time to wake up and be snappy with me.” He pinched her cheek, and that got her eyes to open properly. They struggled to focus on him, sliding shut before he pinched her again.

“Gerrof.” She muttered. Kai released her shoulder.

“Can you sit up for me?” He asked, dropping to his knees and offering her the half empty glass of water from her bedside table. Catherine pushed herself up on shaking arms. Her hair was clinging to her neck. “Here.”

“Did I oversleep?”

“No, it’s only three in the morning.” He said, pressing the glass to her hands. “Drink that.” Catherine took a large gulp and some of the water dripped down from the corner of her lips. She was still breathing heavily and he could see the sweat gathering at her temples. “I could hear you, a nightmare.”

“So?” She gave the glass back to him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, he made no move to stand up again. “If you would prefer I wake up Irene, I can do that.” Catherine’s doe-ish eyes were sparkling with tears that she was desperately trying to sniffle back.

“Do I look okay?” Her voice cracked and Kai could feel his heart clench in sympathy. “I…” Her breath caught in her throat and she pressed her lips together as she tried to hold back the floodgates. “No.” She whispered. “I’m not okay.”

A tear ran down her cheeks and she smeared it away, but it didn't do much as they began to stream down her face. “Come here.” Kai said, holding his arms out to her and pulling her off the bed to cradle her against his chest. “I’ve got you. You are safe here.”

Catherine tried to hold back the tears but just ended up choking on her sobs and having to gasp for breath. Kai rubbed circles on her back, worried at times that she was going to cry until she was sick. Her body was burning hot against his skin, worrying Kai even more than the sobbing did, a body should not be that warm, she shouldn’t feel hot to him.

The light flicked on and he looked up to Irene in the doorway, eyes still fuzzy with sleep. She took in the scene of Catherine curled up in Kai’s arms. “Bring her into our room.” It was easy to get to his feet with Catherine in his arms, and he lay her on his side of their bed.

Her sobs had subsided but she was glassy eyes and pink cheeked. Irene collected one of the first aid kits from the bathroom and found the thermometer. “She does have a bit of a fever.” Irene said. She smoothed hair off Catherine’s face. “Catherine, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

“I want my mother.” Catherine whispered.

“I’m sorry.” Irene helped Catherine sit up against the pillows and foisted her glass of water onto her student. “Finish all of that whilst I get a damp cloth.” Kai caught her elbow. “It could be nothing, but she could be coming down with something.” Irene said to him. “Best to keep an eye on her.”

“It was hard to wake her.” Kai said in a low voice, though still in the same room as Catherine. If she was listening to them, she showed no sign of it. “She was having a nightmare, tossing and turning.”

“Hopefully it’s just that.”

They got two more glasses of water into her before Catherine’s breathing slowed down to a normal speed, the cloth on her forehead reduced her flush from a bright red to soft pink, and she was blinking in that slow manner of a cat that had found the perfect spot to nap.

“Go to sleep, Catherine.” Kai said, helping to tuck her in. “We can talk in the morning if you want.” He checked the clock, four in the morning, was there any point in going back to bed? He took Irene’s hand. “You should go and get some more sleep, I’ll stay to keep an eye on her.”

Irene wanted to argue, but she was exhausted and knew that it was illogical that they both lose sleep to worry. “Okay, but you wake me up if anything changes, alright?”

“Alright.” Kai kissed her forehead.

Seemingly exhausted now, Catherine slept like the dead without so much as a snore, though it didn't last and just before dawn, Kai had to wake her up again. “Do you want to talk to me about it?” He asked as he poured her another glass of water.

“Not really.” She muttered.

“That’s fine.” Kai ran a hand through his very messy hair. “About a year ago, I was attacked and I was kidnapped. By the Guantes’. That is why they had a vendetta against us.”

“My uncle told me.” Catherine said.

“I am not surprised.” He sat cross legged at the end of the bed and started to pull his hair loose to be braided again. “I was drugged and collared to stop me from using my powers and taken to a Venice deep in chaos.” She probably knew that part too. “I could hear him talking at one point, and I found myself agreeing with everything that he said.”

He took a deep breath. “I was so easily pulled underneath his glamour despite who I am. But despite that, I can only begin to imagine it was like to have him controlling you. And how strong you must have been to free yourself of it.”

“Irene helped.”

“I know what she said to you. And how argumentative you were with her whilst simultaneously freeing yourself. Irene couldn’t tell you what to think any more than I can.”

“The Language can do that though.”

“But she couldn’t use it at the time. And I know she would never use it to manipulate the mind of someone that she cares about unless she had no choice in the matter.” He said. “You freed yourself, she just encouraged you and gave you the means to do it. It was your hard work though.”

“It hurt.” Catherine said very quietly. “Like I was pulling him out of my head.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“This all started because they wanted to sell me and start a war. They wouldn't have done that to you if it weren't for me.”

“I mean, if you want to blame yourself, I wont stop you.” Catherine shrugged and Kai very nearly laughed. “But I would have always been a target to Lord Guantes, even if Irene hadn't stabbed him, or he hadn't kidnapped you. What better way to settle a feud than to manipulate the niece of your enemy into being a puppet.”

“Is that what is getting to you, how easy it was for him? He had a lot of technology to help.” She shook her head.

“I was happy.” She said. “I was so happy to get what I thought that I wanted. I thought that I wanted to be his… pet librarian. I don’t remember ever being that happy.”

“Oh.”

“It makes me feel nauseated, knowing how easily I could be manipulated into doing someone's bidding, and how happy it would make me to get what I wanted just like that. All I had to do was put on the gloves and say yes.” Her smile was twisted and bitter.

“He was giving you everything that you had ever wanted, of course you would be happy.” Kai said. “No one could blame you for that.”

“Couldn't they? Neither you nor Irene are so weak willed as I am. You broke out of your prison, stole a car and crashed it into a Cathedral. Vale had made five attempts to escape before we found him. All Irene needed to do to escape was to think for thirty seconds and boom.” She shook her head, coppery hair falling over her eyes. “No. I needed to have someone save me. Again.”

“Okay?” Kai said in a little bit of confusion. “Catherine, you are young. You are seventeen.” He held his hand up to stop her when she went to speak. “Irene told me. You are a child compared to us. You have no experience. You have a long way to go and a lot to learn and just because you need to be saved on occasion, does not make you any lesser. Do I make myself clear?”

“But-”

“No. No buts. Irene has saved my life… let’s see, five or six times now? And I have saved her life too. Vale has saved both of us, and we have saved him. We all make mistakes.”

“You were about to say ‘you’re only human’ weren't you.” He scratched the back of his head. “I think that I can see your point though.”

“You have a lot to learn, and you have that chance. I think if you ask nicely, Irene would take you to the Library today, she’s healed a bit and a few hours won’t hurt her.” Catherine’s eyes lit up.

“Really?”

“Really.” He got off the bed. “I am going to make some breakfast, do you want some too? Or do you need a bit more sleep?”

“I think I may go and have a bath.” She said. “And eat later.”

“Good idea. Your temperature was a bit high during the night, do you mind if I check to see if it’s come down again?” He grabbed the thermometer and tried to mimic Irene from a few hours ago in placing it underneath her tongue. “Let me see… What temperature are you meant to be?”

“Firty theven.” She said around the thermometer. “Li’ humanth.” He smiled. “Thut up.”

“It is still slightly high, I’ll have to ask Irene how high it has to be before worrying about it. Do you feel ill?”

“I theel like you need to take that’ ou’ of my mouf.” She glowered at him, and he did so. “Thanks, and no? Kind of feel like I need to blow my nose, and that is it.”

“Any time.” He said. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me and Irene is in the spare room I think.”

“Sorry about all of this.”

“Nonsense. You needed help, and Irene told me to put you there, so that we could keep an eye on how you were doing.” He wiped the thermometer off with his handkerchief before tossing it toward the wash basket. “Enjoy your bath.”

Irene was face down in the pillows when he checked in on her, he pulled the covers back up to her shoulders, and went downstairs. If Shan Yuan saw him now, fussing over _his_ girls, he’d probably end up with another broken arm, but he didn't really care. His sense of protectiveness was more important to him than his brother’s opinion. Even if the broken arm had hurt.

By the time Irene came downstairs, both Kai and Catherine had read through the morning paper (leaving her the crossword of course) and were in the middle of a pot of coffee and a discussion on the opera that would be performed at the royal opera house in the coming weeks.

Irene insisted on checking Catherine’s temperature for herself, before hugging her. Catherine stiffened, before relaxing and holding on tightly to Irene. “No matter what, you can come to me.” Irene said firmly. “If it is something that you don’t want to talk to your uncle about, I am here.”

She drew back and held Catherine at arms length. “Did you get a bit more sleep?” Catherine nodded. “Good.” She let go. “And did you leave me the crossword?”

“Of course.” Catherine said, and grabbed the paper to give to Irene. “I am not dealing with you being grumpy over it.”

“I do not get grumpy.” Irene said, Kai had silently made her up a cup of tea. “I just like my little routines when I can have them.” It had been so rare to have such simple things before her permanent position in Vale’s London and now that she had them, she was going to try to hold onto them, even something as little as the crossword and cup of coffee in the morning.

“Plans for the day?” Kai asked, glancing at Catherine out of the corner of his eye.

“None.” Irene said. “Maybe starting to look at the post situation?”

“Could we maybe visit the Library?” Catherine asked, sounding more nervous than Irene had heard her since they had met. “I know that you had said that you didn't want to go in there whilst injured, but maybe just a few hours?” Irene took a sip of her coffee.

“On a few conditions.”

“Anything.”

“You do not run off. You do not complain when I say it is time to leave.” She counted off on her fingers. “You stay in whatever room I am also in. You are quiet.” Catherine nodded earnestly. “Alright. I suppose I should check in. I have no idea who my immediate superior is right now though.”

“What happened to Coppelia?” Kai asked and Irene realised that she’d never told him, and Kai seemed to be fond of Coppelia, said that she was like his mother.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to say with everything going on. She’s ill, pneumonia. They are treating it at the moment so hopefully she’ll be better soon.” She swallowed, not really wanting to think about what would happen if they couldn’t treat it. Coppelia couldn’t die in the Library, but it was a cruelty to keep someone alive if they weren't to ever recover. “She was ill after Paris, and it has only got worse.”

Kai hands tightened into fists. For a second, his eyes glittered red, before he calmed again. Irene didn't need to be able to read his mind to know the anger that Kai felt toward his uncle Ao Ji, and to now hear that someone was very ill because of his actions months ago filled him with fury.

“I sent a message to my father via Shan Yuan, if I get the chance to speak to him soon, I could ask him for help.” Kai said. “The medical sciences in worlds that he controls, no offence to the Library, surpass what you can do.”

“You know it is more complicated than that.” Irene said. She desperately wanted to say that Coppelia wouldn't have the choice, but that wasn't fair to her. “It wouldn't be seen as fair to allow one Librarian preferential treatment in your father’s court. Not to mention the fact that then we open ourselves up to Fae saying that we don’t trust them and didn't ask for their help.”

“It is an offer.” Kai said. “Not requested of us, surely they would offer if they could.”

“I will… let them know of the offer.” Irene said. They’d discussed this before with Sterrington. What was going too far? What was displaying a bias to one side? Would accepting this kind of offer upset the balance?

Her relationship with Kai was fine as she was one woman and he was one dragon and they could quite easily claim that it was just physical. They weren't affectionate around others except for maybe hugs and whilst Catherine had seen them kiss, she didn't much care and was hardly the gossiping kind.

And she was the only one who knew that he loved her, and that she loved him.

“It can't hurt to have it as an option.” Kai said. “I hope that she recovers soon without further intervention.”

It was always quiet in the Library. No matter the time of day or what was going on, it was silent except for footsteps. Irene disregarded the terminal nearest to the entry point and instead she lead Catherine past it and further into the Library, down the corridors and into where one of the much larger rooms was.

The bookcases were spread out on three levels with wrought iron staircases leading between them and ladders to reach books on the top shelf. At the centre of the room was a cluster of computers, sleek and modern and at complete odds with the aesthetic of the room they were in and the leather-bound tomes surrounding them.

“Don’t leave this room.” Irene said. “I can see pretty much the whole place from the computers so I will know. I have some emails to send, you are welcome to take a look around.” Catherine was gone as soon as Irene had finished talking, taking off toward the nearest set of stairs. “And don’t run!” She shouted as quietly as she could. They had the room to themselves, so it didn't really matter but the last thing that she wanted was to drag a damaged Catherine home again.

She sat down and cracked her knuckles. The first email that she sent was to her mother, as she had promised to do so. There wasn't much to fill her in on as they had seen each other recently, but she did mention that she was feeling better than she had been when she had last seen her parents.

Then, she checked her emails, scrolling and dismissing half of them after a quick glance at the subject lines, requests that she wouldn't be able to help with, or just didn't have the motivation to help with, someone else would have the answer. She was hardly the most well read on any areas of research with the Library. She was decidedly average in that aspect.

She shot off a short email to Melusine, mainly asking if there was going to be someone for her to report directly to, someone taking over for Coppelia, or if she was going to have to do that herself. She didn't want to look for a new patron within the elders of the Library, she’d attracted far too much attention for them to be interested in her due to her work and she didn't want to be dragged into internal politics. She avoided it for a reason.

She sat back and looked up to see where Catherine was. She was leaning on the railings of the middle level, looking out to the entire room with a look of childlike awe that reminded Irene of the times that her parents had walked her through the Library halls on their way to a new assignment. Though her mother had always kept a tight grip on Irene’s hand as she would vanish into the stacks if let go.

They probably should have put her on a lead, it likely would have been easier, just drag her along when she got distracted.

That was likely considered cruel though.

Irene drummed her fingers on the desk and thought of what to do next, if she should join Catherine, she was curious about many of the books in the room, she’d never have enough time to read every book in the Library, but she could try.

A bleep cut through the silence and drew her back to the computer.

_Glad to hear from you, darling._

Her mother.

_Luckily that came through just as we were about to leave and I am sure that your father can wait two minutes for me to reply, though he is tutting at me from the traverse._

_I am glad to hear that you are doing better._

_We will likely be away for a few weeks but I hope to hear from you again when we return._

_Give our best to Catherine and your prince._

She smiled and closed the email, she’d reply in a week or so, since she had nothing else to put in an email and sending an email saying ‘okay’ seemed to be pretty pointless.

Catherine had made her way back down and was clutching a book to her chest. “Are we allowed to borrow the books?” She asked. “Like take them outside of the Library?”

“I’m afraid not.” Irene said, shaking her head. “If it is a one of a kind, then it has to stay here. We have copies of the most popular novels though, let me see if I can find you one, if not, you can start reading it, note down your page and then next time we come back, you can pick up from there.” She looked a little disheartened by that.

“Has anyone ever told you how the Library works?” Irene asked.

“You acquire rare books and it links the Library to the different spheres.”

“Exactly, if we lose the books, the link is not as strong. We don’t need the originals, so copies work too, as long as we have the story.” Irene glanced at the title and started to look it up. “The books also stabilise the worlds. We don’t get told which books are doing this, we don’t know what is a one of a kind to a world and what someone picked up as a curiosity.”

It took a few filters to locate the exact book that Catherine had picked out. “It’s dangerous knowledge. So they don’t tell us.”

“A double blind.”

“Exactly. It looks like we do have a copy of this book but it isn't currently in circulation. I can put a request in for it and,” The computer pinged. “They’ll send it to my room since you aren't in the Library system yet, speaking of, that will hopefully be Melusine.”

She flicked tabs and skimmed the email, angling the screen to prevent Catherine from reading over her shoulder. She hummed as she got to the bottom of the page.

“What?” Catherine asked, suddenly tensing up. “What’s wrong?”

“Melusine will be my patron for a while. Which is… interesting.” Irene steepled her fingers in a habit she had stolen from Vale in a roundabout way. “And yours I suppose.”

“What does that mean?”

“Librarians usually train in the Library for a minimum of a year before going out into the alternates. Kai was here for five years.” Catherine inhaled. “But I have succeeded in teaching you and keeping you alive so far, so you’ll be staying with me, for the most part.”

“The most part?”

“You’ll occasionally spend time here for compulsory lectures and the likes.” Irene said. “Maybe spending a few days at a time, but likely it will be a few hours, and you can continue your work with me on the days that you aren't here.”

“Is that good?”

“We haven't done it before, but our work in the past few months may be proof to maybe incur some changes in the training schemes, get people into the field quicker.” Irene said. It was an interesting suggestion, maybe even a good one that could solve the issue of the dwindling number of Librarians if they could get people into the field faster. More Librarians in the field meant more work being done, maybe even more recruitment.

“Is there a room that I stay in whilst I’m here?” Catherine asked. “And do I get a log in?”

“Yes and you will. This won't be happening for at least another few weeks.” Irene said. “So that they have time to get everything together and brief you. But you’ll be given a room to use for when you stay here, it won't be much but since you will still technically be living with me, you don’t really need it to be much.”

“And then I can find books to read?” Irene nodded and wondered if this was like she had sounded like all those years ago. “When do I start?”

“I don’t have a set day yet.” Irene began to tap out a reply to Melusine. “Like I said, a few weeks. It depends on how many other students the classes have, there will be a space for you, but it’s more a question of where to put you, a timetable and what abilities you already have.”

“Okay.” Catherine tried to not sound incredibly disappointed.

“I’ll put the request in for that book and then we can explore if you want or you can start reading.” Irene said as she signed off the email. “Your choice.”

“Exploring.” Catherine didn't hesitate, she’d get to read the book in hand eventually. She could wait. She couldn’t wait to finally get to explore the place that she had been dreaming about for years. “How big is this place?”

“I have utterly no idea.” Irene confessed. “I am sure that someone has checked it at some point, but I don’t know and I don’t think many do. It’s massive though. We have to keep maps so we don’t get lost.”

“Someone must have explored the entire place so that they could make a map.” Catherine said as Irene logged off.

“Pick a door, any door.” She grabbed her coat. “Leave the book on a trolley, someone will be by to shelve it.” Catherine picked the door opposite the one that they had entered. “And yes, I suppose so. We can add to the map though, if you find a new door or corridor.”

“So we could really _really_ explore?”

“One, you will get lost and since you currently can’t log into the computers, it would take a very long time to find you again, if we do find you.” Catherine stumbled. “This isn't a playground, Catherine. There is a reason why I don’t want you going out of sight.”

“If that’s one, what is two?”

“Two, Kai is waiting for us, remember?”

“I am sure that he would understand.”

“I am sure that he would, but it wouldn’t be polite to make him wait because you wanted to see what was through a random door at the bottom of a very large flight of stairs.”

“I suppose.”

  
  


Lunch was a very quiet affair, Irene had purposefully asked Kai to find them a quiet restaurant and make reservations. She didn't want to deal with people and a lot of noise. They briefly skirted a cluster of tourists outside of Tottenham court road station and she was reminded of the crowds outside the great exhibition.

Catherine hooked her arm around Irene’s and dragged her away as Irene was struck with the morbid thought that people likely died at the exhibition because of her.

She’d been purposefully avoiding the news.

How many had died or been injured because of her?

Kai took her arm when they met him, and Catherine let go. “How was your little trip?” He asked, mainly aiming to the young Fae over Irene.

“It was amazing.” Catherine gushed in pure rapture. “I cannot believe how beautiful some of the rooms were! It was like walking into a new world with each new room. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to live there, to live amongst all of the stories.”

“Did you get anything to read?”

“Irene put a request in so I could borrow a copy of a book.” Catherine was smiling brightly, she seemed to bounce with each step, like the Library had refreshed her and wiped away some of her troubles. It was only a small thing, but to her, it was everything.

“I suppose that we have enough to keep you going before you get that.” Kai said.

“I suppose.” He and Irene probably had enough books to keep her buried in literature for over a year, even with her voracious reading speed nearly matching Irene’s. “There are always the local bookshops if I can’t find anything I feel like reading.”

Vale met them at the restaurant and they were shown to a quiet table at the back, half hidden in the shadows. Kai helped Irene out of her coat, his hands lingering on her shoulders and lightly squeezing, a small comfort. Kai sometimes found the prudish nature of the pseudo-Victorian society to be restrictive and annoying. He couldn’t even hold Irene’s hand without someone tutting.

Heaven forbid he kiss her, even if just on the cheek.

Scandalous.

He pulled her chair out for her, and Irene smiled at him, small and gentle, a slight twitch at the corner of her lips. She was tired. It was obvious.

“How have you all been?” Vale asked.

“How’s the head?” Catherine replied with. Vale gave her a slow and dry smile. “I am sorry about that, but you did scare me.”

“No, I agree that I shouldn’t have been sneaking around.” Vale said. “Though I am dreading what Strongrock intended on teaching you.”

“How to do that minus the frying pan.” Kai said, he ordered water and a bottle of wine for the table. Irene moved Catherine’s wine glass so that it wouldn't be filled, she was about to protest this but doubted she’d win an argument based off the phrase: ‘well my uncle let me do it.’

“At least she didn't decide to grab one of the knives.” Irene said, she was still considering buying Catherine one, or giving her one of the many Irene kept stashed around the house. She’d cut her fingers on the one under her pillow on more than one occasion.

“I don’t think I would have known where to stab.” Catherine said, picking up on of the knives at the side of her table setting and examining it. Irene reached over, took it from her, spun it deftly between her fingers, and then offered the handle back to Catherine. “Teach me how to do that.”

“Later.” Irene said with a wave of her hand. “And only with very blunt knives. You probably want to keep your fingers attached to your body.”

“Probably.” Kai said with a toothy grin. “Just maybe.”

“I don’t know.” Irene shrugged. “Catherine? How do you feel about your fingers?”

“I would prefer that they do remain attached to me on the principle of being able to use them.” She said, wriggling her fingers in front of her face. “I could get a cool automaton one if I do lose one though.”

Vale had been watching in minor amusement but he chimed in at that. “It probably isn't worth it. Less fine motor control.”

“Do I need fine motor control?”

“Depends on how useful of a skill that you think pick-pocketing is.” Irene said. “It does tend to be handy. I may have the Language, but I much prefer to steal a key card than try to remember the exact vocabulary I need for complex, electronic locks.”

“You can easily override those if you know what wires to play with.” Kai said.

“I do not. Technology is hardly a strong point of mine.” Irene said. A waiter came around and filled wine glasses and left them with menus. “I manage, but I don’t like spending time in high tech worlds if I can avoid it. They have less physical books.”

“What’s the Library’s protocol on digital books?” Catherine asked.

“Technology can’t pass into the Library without going wrong.” Irene explained. “It has to be turned off first and then you could lose the book, and we’d still need to make a physical copy of it.”

“So yes it works, but more effort than it’s worth?”

“Pretty much.” Irene shrugged, and began to peruse the menu.

Kai and Vale did their usual thing of insisting that they pay the bill, so Irene snatched it from between them and quickly paid it herself, handing the cheque over to the waiter as Kai huffed.

Catherine appeared to be bouncing with far too much energy when they left the restaurant. Her trip to the Library seemingly wiping away the lingering effects of her nightmare.

Irene seemed exhausted though, trailing after a highly excitable Catherine as she flitted from one room to the next like a toddler that had eaten their way through a candy factory was draining. Kai took her arm and allowed her to lean on him.

“A cab perhaps?” Vale suggested, grabbing Catherine’s shoulder as she was about to cross the road without checking first. A cab whizzed past as he pulled her back. “And a leash maybe?”

“I am not a dog.”

“Catherine, you can either hold my hand or you can act like your age.” Irene sighed. “Your choice. After everything we have gone through, if you get killed because you can’t safely cross the road, I will be so disappointed in you.”

“I think it would be a little humorous.” Kai muttered. “sorry Silver, Catherine got killed because she can't cross a road safely.”

“How is me dying humorous?” Catherine exclaimed. “First you nearly kill me crashing a car through the roof and now you would laugh if I got hit by a cab?”

“Yes and yes.” Kai said. “Lighten up, Catherine. I didn't actually hit you.”

“You’d have killed me too.” Irene said. “You did pretty much land where I had been chained up two minutes prior.”

“But I didn't.” He said, tapping her on the cheek, before raising a hand to signal to a cab. “Coming back for coffee, Vale?”

The answer, as usual, was yes. Unless caught up in a case, or sometimes even then. Vale had an appreciation from an outside perspective and Irene and Kai usually managed to provide ideas from their other-wordly experiences. Plus Vale liked to have an audience when he talked through the problems. He could, at times, be dramatic.

“I think I may need a nap.” Irene muttered as Kai helped her up into the cab. He slid his arm around her hip as they sat side by side on the bench, Vale and Catherine opposite. She rested her head on his shoulder.

“You didn't get that much sleep last night, did you?” Kai asked, he squeezed her around the waist a little, pulling her against him so that she fit snug to his side. It was odd to Irene how perfectly they fit against each other, like they were jigsaw pieces that were perfect for each other.

“Sorry.” Catherine said.

“It’s not your fault.” Irene said, shaking her head. “I think I am going soft, sleeping in an empty bed is harder than it used to be.” There used to be no comfort like returning to her bed in the Library and collapsing into it. Now, there was no comfort like curling up on Kai’s chest.

“I will try not to let that go to my head too much.” He smiled. Vale and Catherine would have to deal with him being a bit of a sop. He tilted his head so that his lips touched her hair. “I sleep better with you there too.”

Irene managed to stay awake for the duration of the cab trip but the feeling of Kai against her, warm and stable, perhaps the most stable thing in her life, comforted her until she felt like she was on the verge of slipping into slumber.

Kai nudged her and she forced herself upright. He handed her to Vale, fairly certain that she’d fall on her face if left to get down herself. She probably would have, because she staggered when Vale released her.

Kai hustled her off to bed with a kiss on the forehead and a cup of tea.

“I thought that she was doing better.” Vale muttered once she was upstairs.

“She was.” Kai said. “Is. But she’s not sleeping well still. Catherine had a nightmare last night and she had a fever. Irene was quite worried.” He made sure that Catherine was distracted in the kitchen. “She spent much of yesterday reading and was pretty relaxed all day.” He left out their other activities. “We got to watch Catherine slap Silver across the face.”

“She did what?”

“He was trying to use his glamour on Irene. So she hit him. I thought he would hit her back to be honest.”

“I’d like to say that he wouldn't, but Silver is anything but predictable.” Vale shrugged.

“Catherine was quite upset. Spent most of the afternoon with us, nearly fell asleep on my shoulder at one point. She woke me up, I could hear her, talking in her sleep a bit. Irene must have been woken up at some point too.” Kai said. “I sent her to sleep in the spare room, so I could keep an eye on Catherine if she was ill, but I don’t think she slept too well after that.”

“Have you suggested she go away to talk to a proffesional?”

“I haven't really had the time.” He said. “I don’t know how to bring it up in a tactful way. I don’t think she’d take too kindly to the suggestion that I don’t think she’s mentally well.”

“Yes, I doubt she’d like that.” Vale said, Kai had no doubt that Vale would bluntly tell Irene that to her face if he thought that she needed the help.

Catherine drank her coffee and lost herself in a book as Vale filled Kai in on the latest London going ons, he’d normally be more up to date, but they had all needed time to sleep and begin to slowly recover.

Kai poked his head around the door to check on Irene after about half an hour of discussion. She hadn't got underneath the sheets and had one of his pillows clutched to her chest, her nose buried in it. He draped a blanket over her shoulders and left the door open a few inches.

“I’m sorry about last night.” Catherine said. “I didn't mean to wake you up.”

“Catherine, it’s fine.” Kai said, shaking his head. “Irene said to bring you into our room. You had a fever, both of us were worried that you were coming down with something.” Catherine opened her mouth to argue. “No, I won’t hear anything else on the subject.”

“Can I say thank you for looking after me?”

“If you must.”

“Thank you.”

Irene staggered out of the bedroom looking a bit rumpled, and blearily looked around the lounge at them, Kai pressed his lips together as he held back a laugh. “What year is it?” She rasped and he chuckled.

“You only slept about an hour.” He said, and patted the seat next to him. When she sat down, he turned her away from him and started to braid her hair for her. “Feeling better?”

“Sort of.” She said, letting her eyes shut as he ran his fingers over her scalp. “It was one of those naps where you wake up and question what day it is, or year.” She rubbed her eyes and the bridge of her nose. “I shouldn’t be napping in the middle of the afternoon though.”

“There is no harm in it.” He said, her hair was curly, compared to his pin straight hair, making it a little harder to braid than his own. But Kai liked to think that he was getting pretty good at it. A few strands fell loose but he didn't bother pulling it back into a tight braid.

“If you didn't need to sleep, you wouldn't fall asleep.” Vale bluntly pointed out. “You are only human. It is human nature to sleep. It is animalistic nature.”

“I resent the accusation of being an animal.” Catherine said. “At no point am I capable of sneezing and accidentally turning into a winged lizard.”

“I am not a lizard.”

“If it looks like a lizard and sounds like a lizard, then I am fairly certain that it is a lizard.” Catherine said with a flourish of her hand that she’d definitely picked up from her uncle, though she’d hate to be told that.

“I am not a lizard. Also, I am not about to shift my form because I sneeze. I am not a toddler.” Kai said, the threat of a growl at the back of his throat, twisting his voice into a low rumble.

“She’s just winding you up.” Irene said, turning to him and deciding to use his lap as her pillow, just in case. “You’ll irritate her more if you ignore her.”

“I am not that easily irritated.” Catherine said, crossing her arm and trying to look intimidating. But Kai could pick her up and literally throw her out of the room without breaking as much of a sweat.

“Sure, kid.” Kai grinned, watching an angry flush tinge Catherine’s cheeks, her hands clenching into fists. “Sorry, does that annoy you a little bit?”

“Take it outside if you are going to fight.” Irene said tiredly, putting her hand over her eyes.

“You are on me.”

“That sounds like a you problem.” He smiled and started to stroke her hair.

“Try not to fall asleep again.” He said, thumb brushing her cheek. “I really don’t fancy having you drool on me. Or snoring.”

“I don’t drool.”

“You do.” He said. “But that’s okay, I love you anyway.” Irene made a gentle mumbling sound that sounded like ‘I don’t’ but it was hard to tell. She curled her legs in tighter on herself.

She had to sit up when Kai went to make a fresh pot of coffee, she stood up and stretched, feeling a few things pop in her back, though it was more satisfying than it was painful, and plucked a random book off a shelf and settled down to read that.

It was often very quiet in the embassy, she found in quite a comfortable hush, for the most part, just the sound of shuffling in slippers, soft breathing, pages turning and the kettle boiling. But they did have a gramophone and vinyls for when the silence was a bit too much. Sometimes, music was pleasant to have on when lost in literature.

She found out one of Kai’s records and very carefully set it spinning and lowered the needle onto it. The sound was fuzzy and scratchy for a moment, before playing clearly. She’d balanced, perched on the sofa arm as she had done this, and looked up to Kai as he came back into the room.

“Perfect.” He said. “And the music is a nice touch too.” Catherine groaned and rolled her eyes.

“It’s bad enough that you two think you are subtle when you sneak off to have sex, you don’t have to flirt in front of us too.” She whined. Kai and Irene both turned bright red, and he quickly put the tray down before he could drop it.

“Catherine, when you meet someone who you deeply care for, you won’t be so disgusted.” Irene said before Kai could say something rude. “I had a very similar reaction when I saw my parents kissing when I was your age.”

“No thank you.” Catherine said. “Sex is fine in theory, in a book? Yes. In real life? It sounds like it will be sticky and rather unpleasant. I will stick to the literature, thank you very much.”

“Suit yourself.” Irene shrugged, she took Kai’s hand and pulled him down to the sofa before leaning forward to top up coffee cups. “If that is what you want, then fair enough. You could just get a cat instead.”

“An easy switch to make?” Vale asked.

“Quiet company and fluffy?” Irene shrugged. “I suppose that it isn't half bad if you get lonely. I am not a fan of cats though, maybe a dog.”

“You are not replacing me with a cat or a dog.” Kai snorted.

“Then don’t get yourself killed.” She smiled and patted his cheek. “And I wont need to replace you. What would you replace me with?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I suppose I’d have to find another Librarian to fall for. Bradamant I guess?” She smacked him in the chest. “Hey! It’s a joke. ‘Rene, there will never be anyone like you. I promise.” He caught her hand and kissed her knuckles. “You are one of a kind, and if there’s another like you, I fear for the fate of the worlds, you could cause so much pandemonium if there were two of you.”

* * *

“ _Pull the trigger.”_

“ _Irene?” Kai croaked, he looked up from her from where he’d collapsed into the dust. He pressed his hands to his temples, like he had a horrendous migraine, shaking in pain. “Irene, it hurts.”_

“ _Pull the trigger. Put him out of his misery.” Irene’s hand shook, her finger trembling against the trigger of the gun that seemed so heavy in her hand. The muzzle of it was shaking with her arm as she slowly raised it to press it to Kai’s forehead._

_Tears streamed down her cheeks, her eyes were burning. It was getting hard to see as everything was blurred as she tried to swallow back her tears. She pressed her lips together._

“ _Irene.” Kai’s voice was a pain filled sob. “Please, you said you would protect me. You promised.”_

“ _We can try again. We can make a new one. A better one.”_

_The voice was a whisper in her ear. Shadows flitted around the room, fluid and sinewy, never staying in one place for her to focus on them and see who else was in the room._

_Kai was shaking on the floor, curling in on himself as he choked. Convulsing and crying out in agony._

“ _He will never be the man that you love again. He’s dead. This is just a fake.”_

_When… When did Kai die? When did she lose him? When did she fail and let him die? She looked at the gun in her hand. Had she killed him?_

“ _Kai.” She said very softly. “I’m sorry.”_

“ _I don’t know where I am.” He cried. “Irene, where are we? Why does it hurt?”_

“ _Pull the trigger Ray.” The voice of Alberich ran through her like a painful burst of heat spreading across her skin. “Kill him, you know he deserves it. What has he ever done for you? He’s nothing but a copy.”_

“ _He’s…” Her voice was rough and hoarse, like she had been screaming, like she hadn't stopped crying in hours._

_Since Kai had died?_

“ _He’s dead. He’s been dead for years, Ray. Just put him out of his pain.” Someone’s hand ran down her arm. “Keeping him alive is just torturing him. That isn’t fair now, is it?”_

“ _Irene.” Kai’s voice was very quiet now, a raspy breath. He looked up at her and a bead of blood dribbled from the corner of his eye. “What is happening?” He coughed, convulsing again, choking up blood. It splattered on the floor at her feet._

“ _He’ll die in pain if you don’t. It’s for his own good.”_

“ _I…” Kai spat out blood. “Irene. I love you.”_

_A shot echoed through the room and Irene screamed and dropped the gun. Kai slumped to the floor, a bloody hole in the side of his head. She looked up._

_Lady Guantes held a pistol in her hand. “If you really loved him, you’d have done that yourself. Put him out of his misery.”_

_Irene dropped to her knees and drew Kai to her. She shook him, like she was simply trying to wake him from a deep sleep. “Kai!” She was screaming again, her throat torn by the cries. “Please. Wake up!”_

“ _He’s dead, Ray.” Alberich firmly gripped her shoulder. “He deserved it though. He was lying to you.”_

“ _He loved me.” Irene sobbed._

“ _How could he have ever loved someone like you? My daughter.” Kai crumbled to dust in her hands. “Let him go. There is work to be done.”_

Irene’s eyes snapped open and she gasped, choking in her haste. She was in Kai’s arms, his face a picture of pure worry as he held her tight, clearly having just been trying to wake her up.

“I’ve got you.” He said. “Irene, you are safe here. I have you.” She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face where his shoulder met his throat. He stroked a hand up and down her back, murmuring to her softly.

Irene tried to explain, but it came out more as exhausted, incoherent babbling, choking and tripping over words in her haste.

“Slow down.” Kai said, he shifted her to sit her against the headboard, and shifted to be sat at her side. “Just breath nice and slowly. You are safe.” He cupped her face, ignoring the tears. “Just breath nice and slowly, catch your breath. You can talk once you can breathe.”

She swallowed, tasting bile and her stomach clenched. Kai must have seen something in her eyes, because he quickly helped her off the bed.

Luckily, she did make it to the toilet before she threw up. Kai hadn't rushed after her, he took the time to collect the glass of water off her bedside table, and then her slippers and robe, in case she got cold.

“Here.” He said, holding a cloth out to her. She took it and wiped sweat off her face before wiping her mouth. “Did that make you feel a bit better?”

“Oddly enough.” She muttered. He helped her pull the dressing robe on. She was glistening with sweat, but she was shivering in the cool night air. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, love.” He said. “Drink some water, and then how about we go downstairs for a cup of tea? Maybe that will help settle your stomach and help you calm down a bit.”

“How bad was I?” She was a little surprised that she hadn't woken up smeared in her own blood. “I could remember screaming, but…”

“You were.” Kai said. “A little bit. You kept calling my name.”

Irene flushed the toilet and dragged herself to her feet. “Can you check on Catherine whilst I brush my teeth? I probably woke her up.” Kai nodded. “I won't be long.”

“Don’t rush.” He said, squeezing her shoulder.

_Alberich’s hand on her shoulder, his voice in her ear, his daughter._

She jumped away from him and tried, but failed, to make it look natural. Kai’s eyes widened, the deep blue of the sea, a distinct flash of pain in his eyes.

She’d never reacted to his touch like that.

He was gone before she could apologise and explain that she wasn't scared of him. She was scared of what she was.

He’d already made tea when she came downstairs, she lingered in the shadows of the hall.

She could just walk away. It would be so easy. Just open the door and leave, return to the Library. Hide in the tomes and the dust and never leave again. Let the worlds forget that she had ever existed. Let people think that she’d disappeared or died.

It would be better for everyone.

Then he was facing her, her ivy teacup already filled and mixed with the perfect amount of milk and sugar. He watched her with apprehension. He’d often asked if she could read his mind, but now she wondered if he could read hers.

“I won’t stop you.” Kai said. “If you want to leave, I won’t make you stay. I won't beg, I won't force you.” He smiled, small and sad. “I want you to stay, but if you can’t do it any more, I will understand if you want to walk away from it all.”

“Ask me to stay.” Irene said. She needed to hear it. She needed something to cling to. To keep her here. She didn't want to go, yet it was hurting to stay. Hurting to hear him say that he loved her when she couldn’t say it back. Hurt to have him look at her like she was the most perfect thing in the entire world when she felt like she was disgusting.

“Don’t go.” He said softly. “Stay. Please.” He swallowed. “Please.” Irene took a small step toward him. “I know that you are hurting right now, but it won't be forever. Let me help you.”

“What if you can’t?” She whispered. “What if it is too much?”

“Then I will try.” He shrugged. “And when it is too much for me, I will still try to help you. We could both leave, go away. Leave it all behind. No one would have to know where we have gone.”

“You’d leave your family for me?”

“I’d leave everything for you. I love you, no matter what, Irene. “I love you.”

“Promise?” Her lower lip wobbled.

“I promise.” He put the cups down and held his arms open for her. He swept her up in a tight embrace. “I love you. No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been. No matter your birth. I love you.”

Irene stayed still, wrapping her arms around his middle, and just relaxing into his embrace until she could no longer feel her heart pounding so hard that it hurt. Kai heard her slowly exhale, but he wasn't ready to let go just yet, worried that she would disappear out of the door and out of his life forever if he did.

“I love you, Irene.” He said again. “I don’t need to hear you say it. I know what your actions mean and I would rather never hear it and keep you, then you force it before you can say it.” It was easy to pick her up and carrying her into the lounge. He set her down by the fireplace and began to build the fire up until it was crackling, and retrieved the tea for them.

Irene moved to sit on the floor and watch the fire, and he folded himself down to sit at her side.

“Where would we go?” Irene asked in a very quiet voice, like she was terrified that someone was listening in and would stop them. “If I did want to go.”

“I don’t know.” Kai shrugged. “Some city by the coast I think, somewhere where we can be just another person in the crowd. We could get a tiny flat. Fill it with our favourite stories. Learn to bake pie.”

“Pie?”

“It was the first thing that came to mind.” He said. “Drinks at the local cafe, dinner at the pub. Get mundane jobs and have normal conversations at work. Gossip about which co-worker is sleeping with who. Be normal people for a change.”

“I don’t think either of us could ever do normal.”

“No, I don’t think that we could. But it would be nice to try.” He sighed. “Drink your tea before it gets cold. I think we both know that we’d never be able to walk away.”

“I would miss my parents.” Irene said. “And Catherine and Vale. I don’t think I could just vanish without saying a word. It would be cruel to do it.”

“I think that they would understand.” Kai said. “Even if you left and came back. Maybe we should go on holiday.”

“Maybe.” She picked up her tea and took a sip. “I doubt that I would be allowed to do that though, and if I didn't get permission, I’d risk probation again, maybe being reassigned. I don’t want to lose you.”

“And you won’t.” He said, putting his arm around her shoulders. “I am not leaving you until you want me to leave.”

“Never.” He kissed her temple. “Irene, Love.” She smiled upon hearing him call her that. “I love it when you smile like that, you look so beautiful in the firelight. No matter what you go through, no matter what happens to us. I love you. And I will keep saying it whenever you need to hear it, if you need to be reminded, if you are ever in doubt of it, I will say it.”

“Thank you.” She rested her head on his shoulder and half shut her eyes. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Love.”

They finished their tea in quiet, listening to the cracks and the pops of the fire. Irene watched the kindling burn and fall to ash in the grate.

_Kai crumbled to dust in her hands._

“Irene?”

She blinked burning tears out of her eyes. “You died in my dream.” She said. “Lady Guantes shot you, but it wasn't the real you.”

“Like Lord Guantes?”

“Yes. You’d died but I brought you back.” She looked into the fire. “It didn’t work though. It was wrong. You were in pain.”

“It wasn't real.”

“It felt real.” She said. “I was so scared to hurt you, but you were already in so much pain. I don’t know what had gone so wrong, or how you died in the first place. She said I could try again, but I still couldn’t kill you.”

“It’s alright.” Kai said, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “You haven't lost me. It felt real, but it isn't. You are safe, we all are. He put his teacup down and took hers away too. He held her hand and guided it to his chest, laying her fingers over his chest, over his heart. “I’m still here. We are still alive.”

He kissed her, it was soft and gentle, full of care and longing. It didn't demand anything from her. He pulled back and pressed his lips to her cheek, then her forehead, the tip of her nose, her jaw, on and on until Irene was half laughing, half crying. He swept a tear away with the pad of his thumb and kissed her lips again.

“Do you want to stay like this for longer?” He asked. “We could go back to bed.” Irene wasn't sure if she was ready to go back to sleep, so she shook her head.

“Let’s just get some blankets and curl up in front of the fire.” She said. “And finish our tea.”

“That sounds perfect.”

There were plenty of blankets in the lounge, Irene’s favourite was a thick woollen one, and Kai draped it around her shoulders. His own favourite was a dark blue tartan blanket, which he kept nearby in case he got cold.

Irene grabbed cushions off the sofa until they had themselves quite the nest to curl up in. Kai guided her head to rest on his chest, and he combed his fingers through the loose curls that had escaped her braid.

He hummed a tune that she didn't know, some song that she hadn't heard before. It was soft and lulling, it reminded her of a children’s lullaby, maybe something that had been sung to him as a child, when he had nightmares.

“What is that?” She asked.

“It’s an old lullaby. I think father used to sing it to me.” He said. “I don’t remember learning it, as far as I know, I have always known it.” He dragged his fingers over her scalp. “Do you not like it?”

“No, I love it.” He started humming again and Irene made a small noise of contentment and curled her legs up underneath her blanket until she was pressed against his side and they were both tucked (Kai’s feet stuck out but that was more a matter of who makes a blanket long enough to completely cover a man that was well over six feet tall) underneath one blanket.

Kai threw his blanket over the top of them for good measure. Combined with the heat of the fire, the blankets and Kai, it was snug and cosy and despite the jabbering fear still at the back of Irene’s mind, the reluctance to fall asleep again, it was hard to stay awake in the nest that they had made.

“Sleep, Love.” Kai said softly, lips pressed against her hair. “I’ll keep you safe whilst you rest.”


	8. Day seven- part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mer chrimath to people who celebrated chitmath and a happy holidays to those who don't

Irene woke up to sunlight in her face, a rarity in Vale’s world, as light crept around the edge of the lounge curtains. The fire had burnt down to embers that were slowly smouldering, threatening to crumble into ash at any minute.

She was alone in the lounge, bundled up in blankets and surrounded by pillows. She stretched and groaned and reached for Kai, hand finding where he had been. She sat up, blanket slipping over her shoulders as she looked around. The door was shut and the lights off. Kai’s slipped were kicked underneath the sofa and she could have sworn that she could hear him talking.

She slowly got up and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, and opened the lounge door. She followed his voice to the office. Someone responded to him, a voice that she almost recognised. She pushed the door open, not bothering to knock, and stepped inside.

Kai and his father looked up at her, and she nearly died of embarrassment.

“I…” She looked down at her nightdress, and then back up at the pair of dragons. “Sorry.” She quickly curtseyed. “Your majesty, I was unaware that we would be honoured with your company today.”

Ao Guang and Kai had the exact same expression when amused and Irene cringed. “No need to apologise.” Ao Guang said. “My son was just explaining what had been happening recently. My apologies that I was unable to send assistance to aid you.”

Irene opened her mouth and then shut it again, entirely at a loss for words, not sure how to really talk to a dragon monarch. She looked to Kai for help. He looked like he was about to laugh at her shock and embarrassment, she could feel her cheeks burning.

“Why don’t you go and get dressed?” Kai suggested. “I’ll prepare a pot of tea whilst you get ready.”

“I am so sorry. I think I must have overslept somewhat.”

“It is noon.” Ao Guang said. “So, just a little bit.” Irene couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in that long, not without waking up to spend the morning reading. Kai took her arm and nudged her out of the room.

“I’m so sorry.” He said once the door was shut. He followed her upstairs. “I had no idea that he would visit. I opened the door and there he was.”

“A note would have been nice.”

“He’s only been here for about half an hour. I thought I would hear you get up.” Irene ran a hand through her hair. “Don’t worry, I am sure that he understands.”

“I’m in my nightie, Kai!” She whisper-shouted. “You have no idea how embarrassing that is!”

“It’s fine.” He said. “Really, you just woke up. It’s been a bad few weeks. Honestly, Irene, it’s fine. Get dressed, I will put a pot of tea on, you can join us if you want, or hide, like Catherine is doing.”

“Is she okay?”

“She looked terrified when I told her, and said that she would stay in her room whilst he’s here, I didn't ask her to do that.” He said, opening the bedroom door. He paused. “How are you feeling? Other than embarrassed?”

“Well rested.” She said after a pause. “I guess I did just sleep for about twelve hours.” She started stripping off and finding something appropriate to wear, pulling two dresses out to chose from. She turned and held them out. “Which one?”

“The red. You always look good in red.” He looked her up and down. “And in barely anything at all.”

“We literally do not have the time for that.”

“Later.” Kai sighed and waved his hand. “I’ll pop the kettle on.”

“You’ve gone native.”

“Tea is Chinese.”

“But pop the kettle on is British.” She said, starting to pull on stockings. “Earl Grey please.” The red dress that Kai had picked out had been a splurge purchase when she realised that the new position came with a hefty stipend, she no longer needed to work a normal job to cover up why she was actually in the world, or to pay for things.

Kai had tripped over his words when he’d first seen her wearing it. Nipped much narrower at the waist than most of her other dresses (though not uncomfortably so as she had taken it to be adjusted, there was literally no point in spending a lot of money on something that was ill-fitted) with a jacket to go over the bodice, so she could easily and quickly remove it if they were heading somewhere late in the evening, such as the theatre or a well-to-do restaurant.

The skirt was hemmed in lace that matched the shade of the dress perfectly. It was a little much for her day to day work, but perfect for when entertaining guests. And it had pockets, a nice touch that meant she could easily hide a knife and a book, in case conversation was dull.

She checked in on Catherine, sat cross-legged underneath her window with glasses catching the light as she read. “Finally awake?” She asked, turning the page. “Sleeping on the floor, really?”

“I didn't mean to.” Irene said. “Are you alright up here? I can make an excuse and we can go out if you are uncomfortable.”

“It isn’t… discomfort.” Catherine said, she rested the book on her legs and looked up. “But, if I may be entirely honest, having someone in the place where you live that you have been told to fear and hate? It’s strange. Unpleasant, like I have to be careful.”

“He wouldn't hurt you.” Irene said, shaking her head.

“I know.” Catherine frowned. “It makes no sense to be fearful when I do not have evidence against the man.”

“But it was ingrained in you since you were a child.” Irene nodded. “I understand. Well, if you want to join us, I doubt that anyone will complain.”

Their office was set up in two halves, in the back half of the room, there were three desks set up in a semi-circle, with Irene’s at the centre, cementing her role as the mediator. There were shelves behind them, and three filing cabinets, one for each of them.

In the front half, there was a large sofa and a matching love seat, for guests to use if they wanted to be a little more informal than stuck behind desks. A coffee table in the middle. Meetings went better with pots of tea and the occasional biscuit. Ao Guang and Kai sat at either end of the large sofa, whilst Irene had the love seat to herself, and for Catherine if she did eventually join them.

“I guess Shan Yuan got my letter to you then?” Kai asked, once he and Irene had finished a brief explanation of the events.

“No, he did not.” Ao Guang said, shaking his head. “No, your cousin came to me, she spoke with Tian Shu. Apparently, you’d visited her, but he had taken over. When he returned without you, she was worried, and came to me.”

“Oh.” Kai tried to keep the annoyance out of his words. “I shall have to send her a note in thanks. Yes, I asked him to give you a letter that I wrote when we had returned, so tell you what had happened.”

“I received a letter from your brother.” Ao Guang sighed and picked up his teacup, like his son, he drank his tea black. “Apparently, you showed gross incompetence, reckless stupidity and an inability to perform your duties to an acceptable degree.”

Kai’s hands tightened into fists and he clenched his jaw to hold back a bitter retort. “I apologise if my performance doesn’t meet what you expect of me and I shall endeavour to improve.”

“May I speak, your majesty?” Irene asked, she added a cube of sugar to her tea.

“I value your opinion on the matters of the embassy.” Ao Guang said with a nod.

“Prince Kai has done his utmost to continue his work at the embassy whilst we had unknown assassins trying to kill us.” She could see Kai watching her out of the corner of her eye. “He continued to do what he could when we unearthed the truth behind the attacks. And when he and your son, Prince Shan Yuan was kidnapped, if it weren’t for Kai, he likely would still be trapped in a flat somewhere in Barcelona.”

“Is that true?” Ao Guang turned to Kai.

“Somewhat.” Kai said. “Miss Winters is far too kind, I made a good many mistakes that I should not have done.” Irene decided to not point out the number of traps she had walked into either accidentally or on purpose.

“Then why be humble if it is the truth?” Ao Guang asked. “And you really do not need to be so tense, your brother was here for barely two days, yet your work with Miss Winters has been going on for quite some time, I believe her view on the matter over his. I do have one question to ask though.”

“Yes?” Kai asked, eyes flitting nervously to Irene.

“Did you actually escape via blowing up a microwave and stealing a car?”

“He also crashed the car into a cathedral.” Irene pointed out in a highly unhelpful manner. “Which would have been impressive had he not nearly hit myself and my new student.”

“Irene.” Kai whined. “I didn't know that you were there. And yes, I blew up a microwave. They shouldn’t have given us vodka, and then we did steal a car because Shan Yuan had set fire to the entire building and also it was quicker than walking.”

Ao Guang looked somewhere in between mildly impressed, and rather amused. He picked up his cup of tea, and took a sip. “I suppose,” He said slowly. “That the ends justify the means, and that you are likely unable to grow out of your troublesome phase, it has been going on for quite some time now.”

“I am not troublesome!” Kai exclaimed, clearly oblivious to the light ribbing from his father. “I had to do it!”

“I think your father knows that.” Irene said, smirking. “And whilst I would not use the word troublesome, it isn't far off what I would use.”

“What would you use?” Ao Guang asked, gesturing to her with his teacup.

“Vexatious is one term that comes to mind.” Irene said, smiling widely as Kai floundered, opening and closing his mouth like a guppy fish, at a complete and utter loss for words.

“I am not annoying!”

“Cold showers because someone uses the hot water, no tea bags because someone used the last one and didn't mention it,” Irene counted on her fingers. “You have a habit of feeding that stray cat and it keeps coming back.”

“I’ve been calling him Concrete.” Kai said blithely.

“It’s a cat.”

“Well, Mittens didn't feel right. And it’s a grey cat. Concrete is a perfect name for him.” Ao Guang’s laugh was like Kai’s as well, though a little more reserved, and they both looked at him.

“Your bickering reminds me of myself and Kai’s mother.” Both flushed and looked at each other. “Kai, Concrete is not a cat name. And you don’t want to end up bringing fleas into the house.”

“I won't let him bring the cat inside.” Irene said.

“I think having an embassy cat would be a nice idea.” Kai said. “It would be nice to have him on my lap whilst I work on very dry paperwork.”

“Yes, and what happens when we have to go away?” Irene asked, they had no plans for long trips but life had a way of throwing them through a loop and then dragging them through hell by their hair. “We can’t have a pet, we don’t have anyone to look after it when we aren't here.”

“Vale?”

“Can barely remember to feed himself without reminders, would forget that a cat also requires meals.” Irene pointed out. “A pet would be a very bad idea. We would come home to a dead cat. It’s bad enough coming home to soured milk, let alone the corpse of a pet.”

“I suppose.” Kai complained petulantly. “That’s a good point.”

“I thought you had a housekeeper?” Ao Guang said.

“We did, but then people kept trying to assassinate us and it wasn't a good idea to have her here.” Irene explained.

“I do think that we should hire a cleaner though.” Kai said.

“Probably.” Irene nodded. “It would save us time.”

“You just hate doing laundry.”

“If you’re volunteering.” She smiled. “Thank you.” She picked up the teacup again. “More time for me to read.” Ao Guang looked to the bookcases at the back of the room.

“How many books do you own?” He asked curiously. “You could probably have a miniature library of your own if you wanted to.”

“Well, you only need to own one book, have read it and be willing to loan it to be a library.” Irene said. “But I believe we have… approximately two thousand in the house? Not just mine, though the majority of those are.” Alphabetising them when they had moved had been an absolute pain (specifically backache) and had taken the better part of a week.

“We did count them at some point.” Kai said. “But that was a good six months back and I know I have purchased several dozen of my own since then, I dread to think how many you have got, and I know Catherine brought quite a few with her as well.” Irene nodded.

“A lot then.” Ao Guang said with a nod. “Hopefully, you will change your mind about accepting the opportunity to visit my library.” Irene’s shoulders tensed up.

“Due to the neutral stance of the Library, Irene can’t accept the invitation without an invite also being extended to madam Sterrington.” Kai explained before Irene would have to do it.

“I am not extending the invite to you as a member of the embassy.” Ao Guang said, shaking his head. “The treaty says that you cannot steal from worlds controlled or owned by myself, or the other monarchs. So naturally, you will need a new way to obtain the novels you require. You can come to my library, see what I have and we can come to an arrangement to have copies delivered to your Library.”

“Oh.” Irene said. “Well, I think that would be an acceptable arrangement, though I shall have to check with my superiors. Thank you for your kind offer.” She bowed her head.

“My son was also telling me about madam Coppelia being very ill.” Ao Guang said. “As a gift, and a sign of our goodwill toward you, I wish to offer her the chance to seek medical attention from my court, we are more than well equipped for that.”

“Thank you.” Irene still wasn't sure if that would fly in the Library, to use a suitable if not ironic turn of phrase, but it was a weight off her shoulders somewhat to know that, at the very least, she could suggest it. “I will let my superiors know of your very generous offer.” And can only pray that Coppelia will accept it and recover.

The conversation bounced between the gossip of Ao Guang’s court, Irene sat back and let Kai get filled in on all of the going ons; they talked about literature and poetry, Ao Guang had Kai’s interest in poetry too but seemed to have an enjoyment for science-fiction too and apologised for not knowing much about detective novels, as Irene called them; perhaps, the most interesting turn of conversation was the discussion on the changes in a language over time, only interrupted by Irene fetching more tea as they certainly needed more tea.

She grabbed food to eat whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, hastily eating a bit of toast when her stomach reminded her that she did require food to be mildly functional. Catherine had sneaked down at some point, she’d left a coffee-stained spoon on the side.

At around six in the evening, Ao Guang suggested that they go out for dinner. “Of course, I wouldn't want to intrude if you have plans this evening.” He looked to Kai.

“No, we haven't.” He shook his head and frowned. “I think I know the perfect place actually, Irene?”

“I am hardly going to protest a good meal that I don’t have to wash up after.” She said.

“And your student is more than welcome.” Ao Guang said. “I understand that she has been reluctant to make an appearance due to her nature, but I assure you, I mean her no ill.”

“I will… suggest it to her.” Irene said. She was reluctant to leave Catherine alone, especially when they would likely be out rather late.

“Let me.” Kai said. “I think that I can convince her.”

He knocked on Catherine’s door and entered when she called out. He crossed to her wardrobe and opened it up. “Do you have anything appropriate for dinner with a king?” He asked, rifling through her dresses.

“What are you doing?” Catherine scrambled up from the chair by the window, knocking a cushion to the floor but keeping a hold of her book.

“Helping you find the right dress for dinner.” He pulled one of the dresses out and held it up next to her. “No, that’s wrong for your colouring.” He put it away again.

“I am not going out for dinner.”

“Yes, you are.” Kai said firmly. “Ah, perfect. Green always looks excellent on redheads. Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to wash up and get changed, we probably won’t be leaving for an hour yet.”

“I cannot go out for dinner with your father.” Catherine hissed and looked at the door. She snatched the dress out of Kai’s hand and shoved it back into the wardrobe. “He’s…”

“You were about to say a dragon, weren't you?” He got the dress back out. “He promises that he holds no ill will toward you. And you’ve been out for dinner with me, dragon royalty. It’s not very different from that.”

“I’ve seen you accidentally pour coffee all over the floor.” Catherine pointed out. “I can laugh at you without fearing for my head.”

“He wouldn't behead you.” Kai said, shaking his head. “Catherine, it will be fine. Irene and I have both promised to keep you safe, that includes from my father. And he asked for you to join us. I think he wants to meet you.”

She snatched the dress back off him. “Fine.” She hissed. “But you owe me.”

“What do you want?” He asked.

“I’ll get back to you on that. Let’s start with never going through my clothes again.” She scrutinised the dress in her hands. She did have to admit that he had good taste. “Without permission.” He ruffled her hair.

“Sure. We’re probably going to leave at around seven, I’ll shout you when we’re off.” He said. “I convinced her.” He told Irene and his father when he returned to the lounge. “She’s coming.”

“When you say convinced her…”

“I can be very persuasive.” Kai smiled. “I even helped her pick out something to change into, a day dress is hardly appropriate dinner-wear.”

Irene excused herself shortly afterwards to get herself ready for dinner, taking off the jacket of her dress and finding out a shawl and cloak that went well with it, draping them over the footboard before sitting down at her vanity and brushing her hair out, she left the door open.

“Is this appropriate dinner wear?” Catherine asked, fanning her skirt out a little, and twisting to make it float around. Her dress was a pale green, high collar and long-sleeved with cream bows accented it at the cuffs and hem of the wide skirt.

“I didn't know that you owned anything like that.” Irene said. “Your uncle’s suggestion?”

“I have never worn it before.” Catherine said, she crossed her arms across her middle and hunched her shoulders a little bit. “I don’t really… I have never attended one of my uncles parties. I was too young and then I had utterly no interest.”

“Probably a good thing.” Irene said, she got up from her seat. “Do you want me to do your hair?” Catherine smiled, and nodded. Her hair was thicker and longer than Irene’s and she was more than a little bit jealous.

It took nearly ten minutes to braid it and twist the top layers into a bun, revealing Catherine’s slightly pointed ears, accented with some of the more decorative pins that Irene kept in her drawer. She left strands loose to curl around her face. “There we go.” She said. “Makeup?”

Catherine adjusted her glasses. “I don’t like to wear it.”

“Alright.” Irene shrugged. She didn't often wear it, but sometimes, a little rouge was necessary to make her look less like a corpse. “Jewellery?”

“I think I have a few pairs of earrings.” Catherine said, fingers tugging at the lobe of her right ear. She touched the tip. “And a few cuffs, but I don’t think that those are dinner appropriate.”

“I don’t know. Give it a try.” Irene suggested as she opened up her own jewellery box, a battered old thing made out of faded leather, but she didn't want to replace it. She had never been one for much jewellery. Her earrings were all clip-on and she only owned three necklaces and no rings or bracelets. Things on her hands whilst she was working (except for gloves) were too likely to get caught on things.

She sat down again once Catherine was gone and started to twist her own hair up into a bun, glad that it had grown enough from new york that bits didn't stick up at awkward lengths, in odd-looking spikes. Kai came in and changed his shirt, moving around her in comfortable silence, he brushed his hand over the bare skin of her upper back, her dress covering her brand by about an inch, she suppressed a shiver.

Without turning to look at him, using the mirror to check what he was changing into, she found one of his tie pins and offered it to him over her shoulder. He kissed the top of her head as he took the pin. He tucked a loose strand of her hair behind a pin.

He leant against the vanity as he did up his cufflinks, watching Irene as she carefully put her earrings on, and then comparing the necklaces before discarding them. “Here.” Kai said.

Irene kept a few ribbons for her hair on the rare occasion that she felt like wearing one (usually for parties), and he found out a red one. His fingers were soft and gentle, closer to a caress then anything else, as he drew the ribbon around her throat and tied it into a tidy bow at the nape of her neck.

Irene toyed with the ribbon before looking up to catch Kai’s eyes in the mirror. “What do you think?” She asked, voice soft and breathy, catching in her throat a little bit. There was something about his soft, gentleness that made her crave more.

He was unlike any man that she had ever been with.

“You are beautiful.” He said. Not that she looked beautiful, but that she was. He always saw more of her than just the way that she looked, or was it despite the way that she looked?

She blushed. “You don’t look too awful yourself.” He smiled and preened like a particularly proud peacock. She leant back ever so slightly to lean against him and he put his hands on her shoulders. She was reminded of that hotel room before they had gone to the exhibition, the way that he promised to protect her from Alberich.

“I don’t think anyone will ever hold a candle to you, but I like to try.” He said, before kissed the top of her head. “You are the most beautiful person that I have ever met, no matter what you do, or what you are. You have a wonderful mind that I couldn’t help but fall in love with.”

She half shut her eyes and slowly exhaled. “I have no words to describe the way that I feel for you.” She said very quietly. “I have no way to begin to find these words. I don’t think I have ever… been in love before now.” She admitted. “Thank you for being patient with me.” She couldn’t help but think of the quote from King Lear.

“I will wait for as long as you need me to.” He said. “And when you find the words…” He smiled. “I will be more than happy to hear them.” He brushed his thumb along the back of her shoulder, and then down the line of her shoulder blade, making Irene shiver on instinct, arching her back to escape his touch before she could restrain the movement.

“Tease.” She muttered.

“I am more than well aware.” He replied. “We should be getting ready to leave soon.” He stepped away from her and Irene dropped her head forward, taking a deep breath.

“You are the worst.” She muttered, it was almost a growl and Kai arched a brow. “Alright. Pass me my shawl.”

They pulled up outside of a busy restaurant, luckily Kai had sent a message ahead and managed to reserve a table for them.

“May I?” Ao Guang asked Irene, offering her his elbow.

“Thank you, your majesty.” She inclined her head before taking his arm. She saw Kai rolling his eyes, before he offered his arm to Catherine, who rejected it.

“She’s a bit young for you, father.” Kai said with an almost cheeky smile.

“Unlike you, son, I have manners.” Ao Guang replied as they were led to a table in the window of the restaurant, less private than Irene would have liked and she could feel the back of her neck itching with paranoia. Ao Guang pulled her chair out for her.

“I wonder who raised me.” Kai quipped back.

“So how long have you been a Librarian for?” Ao Guang asked Irene.

“Eighteen years, though that does include my training. Fourteen years since I was marked.” Irene said. “I started training when I left school at eighteen and have been with the Library ever since.”

“Yes, apparently your parents were… within the hostages from the Paris treaty.” Ao Guang said. Irene tried not to noticeably wince. “My apologies for that.”

“It was deemed to be a necessary step.” Irene said as diplomatically as she could manage. “Yes, I always admired their work, so when I left school, it was only natural that I follow in their footsteps.”

“Does that make me one of the youngest people to train as a Librarian?” Catherine asked.

“Yes.” Irene nodded. “To my knowledge at the very least. Had I know, I would have made you wait a few years.” Catherine wrinkled her nose. “I would have had no problem with teaching you a few things, getting to know you and such, but I would have held off from teaching you properly until you were probably twenty.”

A waiter stepped forward with a bottle of wine and stood by Irene’s seat. “Madam, is your daughter allowed to have a glass of wine?” Irene stifled a choke on the air.

“She’s not my daughter.” Kai was trying to not laugh. “My niece, and no, she isn't.” The waiter poured the wine and left again. “Daughter? I… do I look old enough to have children?” She looked at Catherine. “We don’t even look alike, not to mention the fact that I am not old enough to have a teenage daughter.”

“I mean, technically…” Irene kicked Kai underneath the table. “Fine. I mean, I don’t think so?”

“Of course not.” Ao Guang said with an easy smile.

“I don’t look like I could be your niece either. Do you even have any siblings?” Catherine asked.

“I just didn't want him to think that you were my child.” Irene said. “I admit that it wasn't the best idea. Which would you rather I say?”

“She could easily be your ward.” Kai said. “I mean, she practically is. Or that you adopted her.” He shrugged.

“Ward works, I guess…” Irene said, picking up her wine glass. “Better than daughter or niece at the very least. Catherine?”

“Does this mean that I have to use Winters as my surname?”

“You don’t have to.” Irene said, before taking a sip of the wine, far fruitier than anything that she would normally choose, but the host had recommended the house wine. “It would make it a little easier as you do not have a surname, but neither did I until a year ago and Kai decided to use the first two literary names that came to mind.”

“Not worth the telling off, but you didn't pick a different one.”

“It stuck.” She shrugged. “And I suppose, Irene Winters does have a nicer ring to it than anything that I could have thought of. Unless, Catherine, you’d rather Catherine Strongrock?” Catherine glowered. “Is… is that a no?”

“It is a no.” Catherine said. “I’ll get back to you on that one.”

“Catherine Strongrock sounds wrong.” Kai said, shaking his head. “Winters works better, and makes more sense if you are off in other worlds.” He resisted the urge to suggest Irene Strongrock, not in front of his father. It would make certain things in the world easier to be linked in such a way, but it was most definitely not a conversation that Irene would want to hear anytime soon.

Ao Guang had been watching in amusement.

“How long have you been studying under miss Winters?” He asked Catherine.

“A few months now.” Catherine said. “But I have been trying to find a way to become a student for a few years.” She put her menu down. “About a year ago, my uncle told me that he had met a representative of the Library, and I had been all but begging him to introduce me ever since.”

“Can Silver keep no secrets?” Irene muttered into her glass of wine. “Seriously. It isn't something to be gossiping about. I may actually need to talk to him about that.” She leant back in her seat. “Cut his tongue out maybe.”

“A little extreme, is it not?” Ao Guang asked. “Nowadays, everyone knows who you are and how to reach you.”

“I suppose that they do.” Irene didn't not like that. She hated knowing that people had her address. They could come looking for her at any moment. She itched the back of her neck. She had made a good many enemies and knowing that someone could easily swing by and murder her in her sleep was unpleasant knowledge.

They had security, but security only went so far as the events of the previous week had shown.

She was suddenly very tired and very anxious, it was like everyone was watching her, waiting for her to drop her guard before knifing her in the back.

“Irene?” Kai’s voice brought her back to the restaurant. “Is something the matter?”

“Sorry, this is just the most public place I have been all week. It’s a little… it’s a lot.” She took a deep breath. “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Ao Guang asked, clearly not picking up on the tone of ‘please, please, please, stop asking if I am okay because I am obviously not and cannot deal with it.’ She took a deep sip of her wine.

“Yes.” Maybe if she drank enough, the buzz would make it easier to deal with. Alcoholic oblivion would certainly wash out the intense paranoia of being known.

“Last time we were in a public place, everything did go wrong.” Kai said. And then; “And the time before that.”

“And the two times before that too.” Irene said. “It’s been a bad few weeks.”

“At least it is over now.” Ao Guang said in the kindly manner of a man who clearly thought he knew what he was talking about, but was so far removed that he truly had no clue of what it was like. He likely hard bodyguards watching his every move, likely never in true danger and hadn't known true danger in a very long time.

He did mean well though, Irene had to give him that at the very least.

“Yes.” She said tiredly. “It’s over.” For now.

She picked at her dinner, appetite dwindling, spending more time shifting the food about her plate rather than actually eating it. Kai sent her a look at one point, more concern than anything else, and she did force herself to eat a little bit more, more for his sake than her own.

She just wanted to go to bed, to lock all of the doors and the windows and curl underneath a mountain of blankets in the small chance that it would help her to feel safe for the first time in so very long. Maybe with Kai as well, more comforting than a childhood stuffed animal.

“Here.” Kai said softly, once the bill had been paid, he helped Irene to her feet and draped her cape around her shoulders. “I think you need an early night.”

“Probably.” She said with a nod. “I apologise for not being the best company this evening, your majesty.” She bowed her head to Kai’s father.

“You have no reason to apologise.” Ao Guang said, shaking his head. “The past events have clearly had an effect on you and you need the time to relax and recover. With madam Sterington recovering from a physical injury, you also needing time to recover, I do not expect the embassy to be running at full capacity.” That was a small weight off Irene’s shoulders.

Irene ended up leaning on Kai far more than she would have liked to do as they headed outside to flag down a cab, it was a small relief that Catherine also looked exhausted and she could merely pass it off as fatigue, and not the mess of thoughts rolling through her head in an unending cycle that made her chest hurt.

It was nearly ten by the time that the cab pulled back, Catherine excused herself to bed, and Irene to a bath, leaving Kai to speak with his father. He shut the lounge door.

“I think that Irene needs much more help than can be offered here.” Kai said slowly. “If I can convince her to seek that help, will there be somewhere that you know of where I can take her?” Ao Guang arched a brow.

“Yes. Though it does depend on how willing she would be to accept that help.”

“I just want to be able to give her the option. She means a lot to me, father. I want to be able to help her if I can.” Kai started to pace the room. “I know that she will likely be unwilling. But I can at least try.”

“Alright.” Ao Guang nodded. “Send word ahead if you talk to her about it, and she is willing and I will make arrangements for her.”

“Thank you, father.” Kai breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s… thank you.”

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, son.” Ao Guang said, but not unkindly. “Best to hide it before someone uses that against you.” Kai nodded. “You have heart, but someone will hurt you, or the people that you care about because of it, best to be more discreet.”

“Yes, father.” Ao Guang smiled and clapped Kai on the shoulder.

“I am glad to see that you are, at the very least, doing well after everything.” He said. “And I am grateful for the chance to see you again, we didn't get much of a chance in Paris.”

“No. I would have visited, but we’ve been so busy setting the embassy up, and then the assassins and…”

“Of course.” Ao Guang nodded. “You have no need to apologise for it. If you do have the chance, I would like it if you did visit, bring miss Winters and Catherine if they’ll visit too. I am sure you are dying to show her the palace library.”

“I really am.” Kai said, he wanted to see Irene’s eyes light up as she saw it, as they did every time she saw a new library. She seemed more at peace when surrounded by rows upon rows of books. Even if it was a small peace in a sea of troubles, if he could do that for her, he would.


	9. Day seven- part two

Once his father was gone, he did the normal routine of making sure that everything was locked up tight, before letting himself into the bathroom. “How are you doing?” He asked Irene. She was laying in the bath, a thick layer of bubbles covered the surface of the water.

“Mmm.” She hummed. “I’m not dead.”

“Well, that is a start.” He said. He undid his cuffs and rolled his sleeves up as he sat on the floor next to the bath. He dipped his fingers into the water and flicked a few droplets at her, she barely flinched. “Better than nothing, I suppose.”

“I suppose.” She echoed. He flicked more water at her and she lazily opened an eye. “Can I help you?”

“Can I help you?” He replied with, though the tone was entirely different. He reached for her shampoo. “May I?” Irene shifted forward and leant back a little. Kai used his affinity to scoop up some of the water and slowly shower it over her until her hair was dripping wet.

Irene stifled a moan as Kai lathered her hair up, running his fingers over her scalp. “That feels really nice.” She said softly.

“Good.” Kai said. “After this, I am thinking a massage. You need your rest and I am willing to do pretty much anything to help you to relax.” Bubbles slid down the back of her neck and he scooped them up and rubbed them back into her hair.

“You don’t need to do all of this for me.”

“I know. But I want to.” Kai said. He scooped up more water and started to rinse the shampoo out of Irene’s hair, careful to keep the water and suds off her face. “I want to do everything that I can for you.”

When Kai stopped running the water through her hair, Irene sat up and reached for Kai, pulling him to her, and kissing him. Kai ignored the water dripping off Irene and onto his shirt as she shifted onto her knees, leaning over the edge of the bathtub.

Kai slid his hands into her dripping hair, feeling the beads of water run over the back of his hands. Irene groaned against the kiss as he parted his lips against hers. He could feel water on his face and pulled away.

Irene was crying.

“It’s okay.” He said, wiping the tears away. “I’ve got you.”

“I know.” She said, before hiccuping a stifled sob. “I know you do.” She tightened her grip on him and Kai let himself be drawn back into the kiss, tasting the salt of tears on her lips. He moved his hands, one to the small of her back and one to the back of her thighs, and he easily but awkwardly lifted her out of the bath.

Kai toppled backward, bringing Irene crashing down on top of him. She gasped, pulling back a little. “Sorry?” He smirked as she sat back, naked and with beads of water running down her body, outlining lithe muscle and soft curves. He sat up and reached out to graze his thumb along soft damp skin, making Irene bite her lip.

Irene sat back on his thighs and Kai pushed himself up to. The porcelain bathtub was cold against Irene’s back as Kai pushed her against it. She shifted off him so that Kai could get up to his feet, he pulled her up too.

There was a counter along one wall, underneath the mirror, with the sink on one side, and the toilet on the other. It was with almost laughable ease that Kai sat Irene on the counter, settling in between her thighs and kissing her again. She tightened her legs around him as she started on the knot of his tie. It was thrown to one side in a blind toss before she was frantically working on the buttons of his shirt.

“Irene.” He murmured her name against her jaw as she rolled her hips to press against him, he was already hardening against her. He kissed the side of her throat, suckling on a patch of skin until he had left a small pink mark that would likely fade before the next day.

Irene didn't mind the marks that Kai felt the urge to leave on her body, provided that they were below the neck, the last thing that she wanted was for someone to make an inappropriate comment. They were usually left on her breasts and thighs, Kai marked her as his with his teeth and soothing the alluring marks with a kiss.

Irene twisted her fingers into his hair and pulled him up to kiss him. “Bed?” She asked, breathless, before kissing him again. Kai put his hands on her hips, nails pressing crescent moons into her skin.

“Probably a good idea.” He admitted, voice rough. “It wouldn't be fair on Catherine for us to use the shared bathroom in such a way.” Irene chose not to point out that they could just thoroughly clean the place afterwards, she wasn't in the mood for that.

He found his tie and drained the bath as Irene pulled on her dressing robe and collected the things that she’d left strewn on the floor. They were almost immediately dropped onto their bedroom floor once the door was shut behind them and Kai had her pinned against it.

His mouth was hot against hers, a touch desperate, not that he cared as he kissed her. His hands settled on her hips again, keeping her pinned to the door. She returned to the buttons of his shirt, small and fiddly and hard to undo when blind, but she managed it and started tugging the fabric off his shoulders, fingers roaming the dips of lean muscle.

He only needed to undo the belt of her robe, but with her back pressed to the door, he couldn’t slip it off her just yet. His hands moved up her body slowly, fingers following lines of scars and muscle and bone, taking in each dip, each rough patch of skin, the raised lines. They were slow as they reached the swell of her breasts, teasing almost, not quite tickling.

He felt her gasp against the kiss as he cupped her breasts, thumbs circling her nipples until they were stiff under his touch and her breath was coming faster. He pulled away to dip his head, lips finding the underside of her jaw. Irene tilted her head back, panting for breath.

“This… isn't the bed.” She managed, sliding her fingers into his hair and pulling his lips back to hers. “Kai.” She spoke against the kiss she placed upon his lips. “Bed, please.”

“A please? How could I deny that?” He scooped her up, Irene wrapping her legs around him on instinct, and he carried her over to the bed, carefully laying her against the pillows. “Now, I believe that I promised you a massage?” Irene reached for him.

“It can wait.”

“Patience, my love.” He smiled, leaning in to chastely kiss her, so innocent compared to the past two minutes. He got up to look through his bedside table. “Lay on your front.”

“Kai.” His name was breathy on her lips. Not quite begging, but there was a blatant want in her voice that was hard for him to ignore, but he did.

“Irene.” He said, his voice a low growl that sent a tingle through her spine. “Lay on your front, let me rub some scented oil on your back, rose hip oil is supposed to be great for your skin, and it doesn’t smell half bad either.” He unstoppered it and drizzled a small bit onto his fingers, rubbing it in to the palms of his hands to feel it for himself. She sighed and rolled over, wriggling her hips a little as she made herself comfortable. Kai reached over and flicked her backside with a finger and chuckled when she shifted away.

“You cannot tease me like that.” He said. He poured a thin line of oil down her spine. She flinched, it was cold as it pooled in the dips of her back. He put the bottle down and sat by her hip and started to rub the oil into her skin, dragging his fingers up her spine before beginning to work on the taunt muscles of her upper back.

Irene sighed, feeling Kai begin to ease knots out of her stiff shoulders. She let her eyes shut, focussing on the sensation of his fingers on her skin (arousing in a whole other way) and the scent of the oil, it had a subtle earthy scent.

He traced the edge of her brand, knowing that the patch of skin marked by the Library was much more sensitive than the rest of her, the number of times she’d shifted away on instinct when he had merely put his hand on her upper back was higher than he could recall.

He traced the lines that made up the brand, gentle at first, before pressing harder on the tense muscles that lined her back. He made a mental note to do this more often, Irene’s back must be a near constant ache if she was constantly this tightly strung.

He worked his way down her back, fingers pressing into her lower spine, and then her behind and thighs, before finally, he was sat at the foot of the bed, kneading the arch of her feet until he heard Irene’s slow and shaky sigh. “Still awake, madam?” He asked.

“Yes.” She said, wiggling her toes, glad that she wasn’t particularly ticklish. “That felt really good.”

“And to think, I had to convince you.”

“I can think of other things that could be just as relaxing.” Irene muttered mainly into her pillow. She stiffened as she felt Kai’s fingers, softened with oil but not greasy, slip up the inside of her legs.

“Still interest in that?” Irene couldn’t see that he was smirking, but she could hear it in his voice as he began to trace patterns on her inner thighs. She moaned into the pillow as his fingers reached the top of her thighs, barely grazing the back of his finger against her clit. “What was that? I don’t think I quite made it out?” He repeated his action and she jerked her hips to try and press against his finger a bit more.

He pulled away and got off the bed, putting the stopper back in the oil bottle and putting it away. Irene sat up a little bit, rolling onto her back again. She propped herself up on her elbows and flicked her hair over her shoulder as she watched his movement.

Even in the simple movements of putting something away, Irene could see the outlines of his muscles. “So, should I put my nightdress on now?” She asked.

“Don’t you dare.” Kai said. “Could you exercise a little bit of patience? Please?”

“Kai, I haven't been patient a day in my life, why on earth would I start now?” Irene asked. She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. “It is awfully cold when you’ve had a bath, been rubbed all over and then left alone and naked in a bed.” Kai growled deep in the back of his throat and it sent a shot of pleasure through Irene, hearing that sound, hearing how she could make him react with barely a sentence. There was far more power in words than most people could ever understand.

He undid the buckle of his belt and put it away, he was meticulous with his clothing. He scooped up his soggy shirt and put that and the tie in the laundry hamper. Then the clothes that she had been wearing before her bath went in there too. And finally, he picked up her nightdress and neatly folded it into a square and put it on Irene’s chest of drawers for later.

Irene very nearly whined in frustration, tempted to slip her hand between her thighs and find her satisfaction at the tips of her own fingers. She rolled her head back on her pillow. “Kai.” She breathed his name, soft and gentle. “Please.”

“That is all that you had to say.” He knelt by her hip and softly kissed her. “Please, was that too hard?”

“Tease me and you can have a shower with your hand.” Irene snappily replied. “I have never required a man for my own pleasure before, and I will not be starting to now.” Kai laughed.

“I know that you can, but you have to admit, it’s far nicer when it’s the two of us.” Kai kissed her cheek before moving down the bed a little bit. “Though if you want me to tease…” He grazed his finger down her throat. “I am more than happy to oblige.”

“Don’t you da-” He started kissing the line that he had traced, starting just below her jaw and trailing toward the dip of her collar bone. The words died on her lips and turned into a gasp. He flicked his eyes up to her and smiled as he brushed his lips across the swell of her breasts.

Irene combed her fingers into his hair, wrapping strands tightly in her grasp as he ran his tongue around her nipple before sucking it between his lips. He cupped her other breast in his hand, teasing her stiff nipple before switching sides the press his lips to it.

Irene rolled her hips, pressing herself against him, she could feel how hard he was already, and when she repeated the action, she felt his groan of pleasure vibrate against her chest. He moved his hands to hold her hips flat to the bed.

“Behave.” He said, releasing her nipple from his lips with a popping sound. “Or is that really too much to ask for?”

“Far too much.” She replied.

Kai sat back. “Irene, my love, I want to be able to treat you like… like you are the most precious item in the whole entire world, in all of the worlds. Because that is what you are to me, but it is very hard to do that when all you seem to want right now is me to put you on my knees and have my way with you until you cannot walk in the morning.”

“I would like to be able to walk in the morning.” Irene pointed out. “But other than that, I would not complain.” She smiled, and Kai sighed and rolled his eyes. “But… I suppose that being treated like that could be nice?”

“Irene…” Kai said her name very slowly and thoughtfully, an entire tonal shift. He sat at the edge of the bed. “Have you ever had a partner treat you the way that I just described?”

“To be honest… no, I don’t think so.” Irene said, shaking her head. “No. No one has ever treated me like I was precious, no partner at least.” Kai rubbed his jaw.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That you have never had anyone treat you the way that you deserve.” He leant forward again and cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “You deserve to be treated like you are precious every day of your life. I want to treat you like that.”

Irene wasn't entirely sure what to say, she shut her eyes, and took a deep breath, but that didn't help.

“We don’t have to rush.” Kai said. “What is waiting for us tonight but to sleep? There isn't a crisis, there isn't work to be done, there is no one waiting for us.”

“I have always been rushed.” Irene admitted.

“We don’t have to.” He kissed forehead again. “We can take all of the time that we want right now. We can be slow and gentle.” He nudged her back into the pillows. “What do you say?”

“Kiss me, please?” He did so, shifting to straddle her again.

“If you want this to stop, for us to go to sleep, I don’t mind.” He said. “If something has happened to you that makes this… too much, then tell me.” She touched his cheek and smiled, wishing that her eyes weren't burning with tears.

“I know that you will never hurt me, you will never use me.” She put her hand over his heart. “You would never lie to me and leave.” She could easily press her lips to his, soft and sweet. “And if you want me to be patient, then I will try, for you.”

“Thank you.” He said. “And if you don’t like it, well, we can try something different next time.” Irene smirked.

“Oh? Like threatening to fuck me until I can’t walk?” She knew that Kai wasn't a fan of some of her more crass language choices, though less judgemental than Vale was. Language had power, and the choice in wording something made it stronger. And this time, it made Kai growl before roughly kissing her.

“You are going to drive me insane.” He said against her lips before digging his teeth in and making Irene whine. “Do you know that?”

“Yes.” She gasped. “I want to drive you insane.” He dug his hands into her hips.

“You are succeeding.” He said, he placed another kiss upon her lips. “I love you, I am probably mad for loving you, but I do. Now, you are going to behave yourself, and just lay back, and enjoy our time tonight, okay?” Irene nodded. “Thank you.” His next kiss was so gentle, barely more of a brush of his lips against hers, before he pressed his lips to her throat.

His hand moved from her hip, trailing down the outside of her thigh first before shifting slowly to her inner thigh, and working back up again, to the apex of her thighs. She was already wet, pleasingly so as he dipped a finger into her. He smiled against her skin, hearing her breath catch in her throat. His thumb brushed over her clit.

“How does that feel?” He asked her, slowly moving his finger inside of her.

“Good.” Irene muttered. He moved his other hand off her hip so that she could move a little bit again. “Really good.” She smiled as he added a second finger, curling them slightly.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” Kai said. “Where you want me to touch you, what you need.” She rolled her head back on the pillow.

“Touch my breasts, please.” She said. “Your mouth, it feels so good.” He brought his free hand up to one breast, and his lips found the other, pressing kisses and softly nipping at her skin with sharp teeth to begin with, and then suckling on her nipple, tongue circling around it, making her arch into his touch and pant for breath.

Irene combed her fingers through his hair, holding it away from his eyes, watching his profile as his lips worked on her body. He flicked his eyes up to her and winked and Irene groaned, biting her lower lip hard to hold back much louder sounds.

“Thick walls and an empty room between us and Catherine, you don’t have to hold anything back, ‘Rene.” Kai said, releasing her nipple from his lips with a popping sound. “What do you want me to do now?” He crooked his fingers inside of her and was rewarded with a startled, sharp cry. “That again?”

“Yes.” She gasped. “Please.” She tugged at his hair when he repeated the action. Kai shifted down the bed to settle closer to the end of it. He kissed her stomach, feeling the muscles wound taunt there.

“More?” He ran his tongue along the dip of her hipbone.

“Please.” She said again, in the same breathless rasp. He kissed her inner thigh, kissing up to where his fingers were working. He pulled his fingers out, dipping his tongue in and tasting her before sliding his fingers back into her.

“You are just… delicious.” He said, Irene didn't have the chance to say anything because he ran the tip of his tongue around her clit, replacing his thumb in teasing the sensitive nub. Irene’s cry was music to his ears. She stifled it into whimpers, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. “Please, I want to hear you.” Kai said. Irene shakily removed her hand from her lips and reached for Kai, sliding it into his hair with her other.

Kai had long thin fingers, stroking deep inside of her, thrusting into her, before curling. Kai knew Irene’s body like the back of his hand, what she liked and needed to get off. But he wasn't looking for that this time, this wasn't the time to be rushing her toward orgasm.

He alternated between thrusting his fingers into her fast and deep, and slowly curling his fingers in a come hither motion, switching between the two of them, keeping her just on the edge of orgasm, building Irene up higher and higher.

She was slick around his fingers, Kai moved his head slightly to taste her again, groaning his own pleasure. She was tightening around his fingers when he slid them back in, moving faster. He suckled her clit between his lips.

Irene’s lips parted in a silent cry of pleasure as she came, muscles contracting in waves around his fingers, Kai kept moving his fingers, slowly moving them now. He waited for her to relax a little again before pulling his fingers out and quickly wiping them off on the handkerchief of his bedside table.

He put his hand on her stomach, feeling her twitch. “How are you feeling?” He asked in a low, gentle voice. Irene’s vision blurred with tears as she looked at him, chest still heaving as she caught her breath. “Love?”

Irene laughed, catching Kai off guard. “Good.” She said. “Really good.” She didn't even know where to begin with describing how good it had felt. “Kai…” He settled on the bed and pulling her into his arms and kissed her.

“Do you want to be on top?” He asked her once she had her breath back. Irene shook her head, normally it was an argument of who got to be on top. Kai thought for a moment, before getting up to shuck off his underwear, and then getting back into bed.

He hooked Irene’s leg over his hip, his erection throbbing hard against her thigh. “Like this?” He asked, rocking against her slightly. Irene rolled her hips to match his movements, grinding against him.

“Yes.” She kissed him. Kai reached between them to line himself up with her, and slowly slid into her. He slowly rolled his hips, shallowly thrusting into her. Irene clung to him, kissing him deeply.

The position made it somewhat awkward for Kai to reach between their sweaty bodies to tease her clit, but he just about managed it, making Irene cry into the kiss. She dug her nails into his shoulders.

Kai tilted his head back and Irene pressed hot, open mouthed kisses to his throat, finding his pulse and sucking on the spot to leave a mark of cherry red, vibrant against his alabaster skin.

Kai didn't bother teasing her this time, bringing her to a second orgasm in minutes, her nerves already on fire, she couldn’t help but cry out as she came. Kai groaned, feeling her tighten around him, he stilled, not quite ready for his own climax.

Irene pressed shaking fingers to his jaw. “I…” She could feel her cheeks wet with tears as she gasped. “Kai. I love you.” She gasped. “I love you.” She was crying and she had no idea why, the pleasure of his actions combining with her overrunning emotions and she was sobbing into the crook of his neck as he filled her.

“I’ve got you.” Kai said. “I have you.” He thrust into her and let go, choking on his own gasp of pleasure as he came into her.

It was a long time before they did anything but cling onto each other and just breath. Irene was aware that she was trembling, shaking in his embrace, but she couldn’t stop. Kai just held her tightly, lips against her forehead. Irene could feel his heart pounding, and knew that her own was mirroring that, pounding in her chest until it almost hurt.

She swallowed, mouth dry, and shifted away from him an inch or so. Kai looked at her, his eyes the same blue of the sea, watching her with wary hopefulness. Like maybe he had misheard or misunderstood. That he had heard what she’d said simply because he had wanted to, and not because she had said it.

“I love you.” She whispered. “I really love you.” He kissed her, it was soft and gentle and exhausted. He rested his forehead on hers. **“I love you.”** She repeated it in the Language, promising it to him.

Kai tensed, waiting for something to go wrong, for her to be punished for a lie, for her nose to start bleeding or something, but it never came and he slowly opened his eyes again to look at her, cheeks tacky with half dried tears, still flushed, her hair was a still damp mess of tangles and curls.

“You don’t have to say it to make me happy.” He said. He knew that she couldn’t lie in the Language without it taking something from her, without a punishment. But this felt like a dream, too good to be true. She was fragile, she could be killed, taken from him, and he was scared to lose her.

“I mean it.” Irene said as firmly as she could manage. “I love you, Kai.” He smiled. Being scared of what could happen would ruin what was happening right then and there. And he wasn't about to lose her to his own fears and anxieties.

Kai slowly entwined their fingers together, pulling her hand to his lips, and kissing her knuckles. “I love you.” He said softly against her hand. “And you love me?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for every single comment and kudos, your interactions make me so happy  
> Thank you for reading ^^


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